Home Education - Do you? Would you? Could you?

[WhatAPoolava]

It’s a bit premature as DD is coming up to 3 years old.

However; I’ve heard people say that home adulation can be expensive - so if it’s possible for us then I’m thinking of putting side a ‘education fund’ savings.

I want DD to go to primary school. I want her to have socialisation, make some friends ect. However when it comes to secondary education I’m really not keen on her going. Ultimately, I’ll leave it up to her. If she wants to attend a school and is happy at school then I’m ok with that.

it might sound a bit of a silly reason but honestly I read so much about children being bullied to death, depression, self harm ect from bullying and school pressure that it makes me feel physically sick at the thought she might ever feel that way.

I also read a study that home educated children have considerably better mental health than those who attend a school - my absolute main priority is her mental health, always. I suffer terribly from anxiety and social phobia and I find normal, daily things so difficult to do some days it’s exhausting and I want to try my hardest to help DD have a heat hot mental health.

So I’ve always been quite set on home educating; but I don’t know anyone who has done it personally.. so I’ve no real idea of how to go about it and whether it would fit in around our work life. I work full time but I work primarily from home.

looking for experiences and tips/advice on home educating so please fire away!

Join the educational freedom page on facebook, and read up on other people's stories. Do as much research into your local home rd groups as possible. Go along to a few meet ups now even if you do plan to go ahead with primary school. That way you can get a feel for how your home ed community rolls.
It works much the same as school parenting. Those who know each other from very young tend to stick together and, from our own experience, are not particularly welcoming. However those who came in later on tend to mix with other newbies.
We home edded from early on due to our eldest being badly bullied by another child. Younger ones have never been in the system.
Read as much as you can, and start now with your home educating. Talk, go out, play games, watch programs, investigate the world.I
Remember your path is yours whichever way you choose but the point of home educating is to benefit your child(ren) not you.

I suffer terribly from anxiety and social phobia and I find normal, daily things so difficult to do some days it’s exhausting and I want to try my hardest to help DD have a heat hot mental health.

I realise that home education can be the right thing in certain circumstances, but tbh I would be concerned that the thing that is more likely to have an adverse effect on your dd's mental health is the fact that you are allowing your own mental health issues to influence your dd's future education.

Fwiw I could not have home-educated my (now teenage children), and I say that as a teacher with over 25 years' experience in the classroom. As for home educating while wfh full time, that sounds well nigh impossible!

I would definitely join home education groups on Facebook (home education uk, and for local groups search home education followed by area name).

Don't want to put too much on here, but I have been home educating for approx 7 years (and still going).

One dc went on to study at grammar school for secondary (and that works for us).

It is doable (I'm not a teacher), but I do believe you need to look into home educating, get in touch with local groups, and ensure you are happy with everything involved.

You might want to join some home ed Facebook groups and read some blogs to get an idea what it could be like. I have noticed that once parents have an open mind to the idea of home education, sometimes they bring the start date forward or use it as a temporary solution to school problems (e.g. child being distressed due to many short-term supply teachers being used to cover a certain class, or child falling behind at school due to being frequently ill). Some schools pile on the SATs pressure and teaching-to-the-test in Y6, which drives parents to remove their kids for that year whether or not they plan to use secondary school.

So even though you are thinking of home ed for secondary, it's good to start learning about it now in case you may decide there's a need to home ed sooner.

With the exception of GCSE prep and exam costs, home education can be as cheap or as expensive as you can afford. Some people do horse riding and take their kids on educational trips abroad. Some people visit free museums, use free online resources, and meet up in the park.

Far and away the main cost of home education is lost earnings and career prospects if a parent who would otherwise work has to give up work or go part-time. For some people that would be irrelevant if they wouldn't be working anyway, e.g. due to disability or being at home looking after another child.

You won't get to choose for secondary if you start her in primary.

Yep. I don’t have strong opinions on HE either way, other than it’s a mega commitment, but unless it turns out school really doesn’t work for her, I think you will struggle to provide a positive learning environment and may pass on some of your issues to her.

For now I would focus on building her mental health, and also get some treatment for yourself if you aren’t already doing that.

In your situation - assuming you are still working in the same way when it comes to it - I would suggest that the main challenge will be getting your daughter out and about so she won't become bored and lonely at home. Having you on hand is helpful, but she may want to get out and see other people.

Depending on her personality and where you live, she might go off under her own steam like my eldest used to do, visiting friends and going to the library and shops and swimming pool. Maybe she will have friends whose parents are willing to take her to home ed groups: we used to do quite a lot of that. That isn't a big ask when they are old enough to be self-sufficient and just need a lift. Maybe you can hire a teenaged babysitter to take her places if she isn't confident of going alone; my eldest used to take a couple or preteens to their drama classes etc and play games with them at home. Or maybe your daughter will turn out to be quite a homebody who is perfectly content just to go out and socialise in the evenings and weekends.

See how it's looking later on, but that would be my main focus if I were you. It will help if you can join in with the local home ed community and get some support that way.

This is not true, you can withdraw?

We're planning to home educate, starting in a very small way now but adding more next year when eldest will be school age. I'm a former teacher, although that's far from necessary.

PP was right about the cost being largely what you make it, other than the lost earnings factor. Some rare people do manage to WFH FT and HE, (look up the story behind the Robinson curriculum) but it's rare.

If your child ends up enjoying primary school they might not want to switch to HE for secondary. It would be difficult to force them into HE since you can't really make someone learn.

It would also be a much steeper learning curve for you as parent, to HE jumping straight into secondary, particularly if you aim for an academically rigorous education.

Joining lots of FB groups and maybe listening to some podcasts will give you a flavour of things.

Maybe @Whitepouringglue means that the OP's daughter might prefer to stay at school once she has started there? Which is true. But the OP has said that her main concerns about school are depression and bullying, and presumably the child won't want to stay there if she is suffering those problems. She's willing for her daughter to go to school or not, and it must be a good thing to give the child the choice of leaving.

IME many kids who have been to school are (like most adults) nervous of the change which home education represents. They may hesitate to try it even if they dislike school. If they know a bit about it, for example by having home educated friends, they are less worried. Interestingly, where one child in a family leaves school to start home education, commonly their siblings soon choose to leave also, despite having appeared reasonably content while at school. It's possible to like school - or not obviously hate it - but to like home education even better!

Unless their school is oversubscribed, kids who are unsure whether they want to be home educated can just give it a go on the understanding that they can return to school if they don't enjoy home ed.

@FriedasCarLoad: "It would also be a much steeper learning curve for you as parent, to HE jumping straight into secondary, particularly if you aim for an academically rigorous education."

Not really, no. A steep learning curve implies there's time pressure to get up to speed. That sort of thing happens at school, but isn't an issue with home education. Learning is much more efficient when you can focus on kids' interests and needs and give them one-to-one attention, so they learn very quickly with the right approach. Anyway, unlike at school, it isn't as if a child can be left behind their classmates. They just learn at their own speed.

Some families do feel under pressure if they take their kids out in Y10 or Y11, if the kids want to sit exams at the "usual" age - which they don't have to do, but of course schools may have instilled in them the idea that they're a failure if they don't. I agree that that is a tricky situation.

But Y7? Not a big deal. There's all the time in the world to get to grips with everything at a relaxed pace before exams loom on the horizon.

Saracen

Yes I did mean that. You can't just choose to home ed for secondary unless your child is miserable.

We home educated our two DC from the beginning. Why? Myself and DH are academic enough but became completely disillusioned with the system and couldn't wait to leave. We both felt let down by our schools. Neither of us were bullied but have witnessed bullying and feel it has only got worse and did not want our DC subject to that nor strict schedules from the age of 5.

Both our DC have thrived. They are very social. We have always given the opportunity to try out all sorts of activities both to broaden their horizons and meet new people. All on their terms. They have a choice in their educational path and who they socialise with and when.

Both have already got 8s and 9s in the GCSE's they have sat in years 8/9 and 10. The eldest is incredibly driven, loves learning, is a junior editor for a national magazine. They are currently deciding which Sixth Form to apply to as they already have the necessary GCSE's despite not being at the end of Year 11 yet.

We have no regrets whatsoever and neither do they. Our children have had the time to be children, freedom and learned so much along the way. Most importantly they are happy which is more than be said for far too many of their friends in school.

I home educated for 4 years for KS2, that’s primary years 3-6 inclusive. My child then chose to go to secondary school after visiting all our catchment area schools. Her choice to return to schooling and her choice of school. Your child is quite young, do be prepared that they might make different choices to those you’d make. There are many different ways to home educate from unschooling, child-led to using tutors and following a curriculum (this is not compulsory) and its worth researching all options to see what will suit you and your family best. Also, use Facebook to engage with your local home ed community in advance of starting - this will give you invaluable insight. I loved our special 4 years, but its not about me, it’s my child's future and her choice and she’s loving secondary school and is thriving.

I would wait to see what she is like at that age. DD loathed secondary school so she does online school at home but DS really enjoys school so it’s the right fit for him. Home Ed is great if you passionately want to do it and don’t have to work otherwise it would be hard work. DD is very self motivated and I mostly work from home. Even though she hated school, I’m not 100% convinced taking her out was the right action as she has been quite lonely at times.

"miserable"? That sounds quite extreme, don't you think? It's a pretty high (or low) bar.

Imagine if the shoe were on the other foot, and I said, "My child was home educated all the way through primary. She has no idea what school is like. But she's only allowed to try secondary school if home education makes her miserable." That would be ridiculous of me. I should (and did) give my kids the opportunity to try school if they wanted, as do most home ed parents in this country.

Instead of requiring the child to be miserable before allowing her to try a new way, how about, "You can't just choose to home ed for secondary unless your child is willing to try home ed"? Which is what the OP said.

we home Ed primary kids. I would like them to try secondary school, but if they want to stay or return to home Ed, I’d like to prepare for that. I suppose if they did want to do home Ed secondary, my first thought would be the logistics and cost of gcses. Would they want to go to 6th form college? (If they do, they might need to attain the required amount of gcses before 16 but otherwise I guess the timing might be able to be more relaxed).

me and DH and grandparents are pretty academic (so would probably be able to cover most things), but might need a couple of tutors for specific subjects (they don’t need the same amount of lesson time as in schools as 1:1 teaching is a lot more focused) . I guess having a financial buffer is sensible (tutors plus cost of sitting the gcses).

As PP have said - find out about your local Home Ed groups. In ours, I think there are more primary age kids than secondary - so more meet ups/activities for this age (but bear in mind stuff changes over time and you’ve got several years).

I have a relative that is HE their child of 8 and seems to be going well I.e. they go to groups etc but mum does not have a job other than this and I guess depends on your trip of work but I really can't see how you can HE and work full time even if it is at home

*type of work

I think if your child is unhappy at school then it's the best thing to do. Not all children thrive in a school environment. But you need to wait until your child is older to decide.

I think you need to think very carefully about your motivation for this OP. I can't see that spending more time with you isn't going to result in her experience img more of the behaviours that your illness causes, whilst at the same time giving her potentially less social experience.

I say less as I do think that even the best home Ed doesn't give you the same experience socially as a good setting. That can be perfectly fine, but there are also advantages and skills (particularly resilience) which can be learnt from having to get on in a class of 20/30 pupils and a wider school system.

Separately, the successful home educators I have experience of have to be more not less social - forging relationship with the home Ed network arranging play dates and learning opportunities together etc

Definitely speak to parents who have made both choices - there are pros and cons of both options. Many people are happy with home educating and many are happy with their child’s school. You’d need to talk to lots of people including those who decided to send their child to your local school to help you make your decision.
FWIW I’m a teacher and home ed really wouldn’t be something I’d ever consider. It does suit others though. I think a lot of it depends on the family, the financial situation, the skills of the parents and the personality of the child.