sex education and senior school - teachers on your lunch - come tell me

[Tortington]

my kids are in a RC senior - dd tells me that an organisation came into school and they went to the hall and it was one of those hippy things where they were saying that sex before marriage is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad becuase teenage relationships only last 3 weeks and trying to be all hip and down with the kids.

shouldnt i have go a letter?

i want to know

sick to bloody death of the education system assuming they will parent my children -

dd said she thought it was crap anyway

not the point though me thinks
dd begged me not to phone school becuase i can be embarrassing

the custy Qs - should i have been notified?
should i phone up?
what else should i do

We don't notify when we teach the biological aspects of sex ed to the kids in years 7, 10 and sixth form. I don't know if the PHSE staff do, I don't think that they do.

We notify at primary (only for the Y6 part)but we try to discourage parents from removing their kids from lesson.

My kids are in primary, they notify the parents when the kids get the year 6 sex ed talk and invite them along. The session is in the evening.

I was 'volenteered' to give the chat this year (I'm a biology teacher not a wierdo"! ) but imagine my dd's chagrin at 'Mum giving the S E X talk'

LOL

On a different point; I think trying to tell teenagers that sex is bad is not the way to go.

It's more about empowering them to make their own, informed choices and making them feel confident and comfortable enough to say no until they are ready.

They need to understand that with this wonderful 'right' comes a huge amount of responsibility.

MB, at my last schoolwe use to have a cheese and wine evening where we showed parents the content of the sex ed lessons. Far, far more giggling on those evenings than when we teach it to the kids.

I teach PSHE, parents are told when they send kids to the school what will be covered and in what years, they also cover something in biology in I think year 7 and 10 but others will know more than me.

I have taught in a school that invited an organisation in like the one you describe and it went down like a lead balloon once the kids sussed the message.

I went to a RC secondary school and we had 'the talk' on my 16th birthday (were they trying to tell me something??) The whole 5th year went into the assembly hall where these people from Life showed a video of a termination to a stunned and captive audience and then they lectured us about contraception. Their stance was that condoms don't prevent STIs, including HIV and AIDS (even I knew their logic was bollocks - the HIV and AIDS viruses are smaller than the smalles pores in a condom anyone??!!), and that any girl who takes the pill is a whore who will go straight to hell. After the lecture we had an RE lesson and our teacher was more sensible. I can still remember what she said to this day. She said 'that video was horrible, you're all intelligent young adults, if you're going to have sex at least use something to stop that (the video) from happening'.

And my parents knew nothing of that little piece of sex education courtesy of the school and Life for quite a long time afterwards.

thanks am still not sure - i think i may be sweet and ask in a "i'm a thick mum" kinda way

you should have absolutely had a letter informing you,
this is different than the curriculum the school would be delivering

although if a RC highschool, maybe not. doesn't the catholic church condone sex before marriage?

I would say 'Well, that is one point of view, but personally I think it's bollocks' & explain why (although your dd sounds eminently sensible & as if she's drawn her own conclusions).

Tbh, if I were to send my kids to a church school I imagine I'd have that particular mantra well rehearsed by the time they hit puberty, anyway...

Probably comes as part of the package - RC school, RC party line - so not sure I would feel able to write/phone & say 'Oi how dare you subject my dc to your views on sex before marriage!', as invited speakers, in tune with the school's ethos, not part of the 'education system' as such.

Had this been in the context of a biology lesson, OTOH, I'd be straight in there breathing fire.

it was done in place of a PHSE lesson

In school info, it sets out what is covered in PSHRE, including the sex ed provision. I think a letter is sent home in year 9 that is a catchall for all the PSHRE, but one wouldn't be sent specifically for this instance you describe Custardo.

I would guess that this kind of theatre group & its message would be kind of standard in a RC school, as presumably it supports their religious ethos?

Mine is a non religious school (although still has to deliver a daily act of worship etc) but there are all kinds of visiting groups and tbh would have no problem with this one - would be presented as thought-provoking and be a stimulus for discussion (rather than a you are all going to hell/every sperm is sacred message...)

Am I missing something here? When you send your dcs to a Catholic school how can you be surprised when they get taught catholic values and attitudes towards sex? Don't you sign a home school contract saying that you support the ethos of the school?

Something I've always found weird about people who say that faith schools don't exclude children from other faiths or none and have to do more to encourage these children don't apply. Erm a lot of people like me don't want their kids to be taught a particular religion and its attitudes and values along with algebra and apostrophes. So...we don't send our kids to faith schools.

"Weird" is a pretty emotive word hurricane

Kids at the schools I've taught at get a letter when they're approaching a sex ed topic - not the biology of it as such but the relationship, contraceptive, STDs stuff.

But I guess it being a Catholic school, the system is quite likely to be different as it will be assumed that as you sedn your children there you are adhering to the main teachings of the Catholic church (sex=BAD!). That's just my guess of course

Secret, maybe it is emotive but I think faith schools are bound to raise strong emotions.

My point is that it's desperately disingenuous to send you kids to a faith school and not expect their education to be overtly and covertly influenced by the attitudes and values of that faith. If you don't like those attitudes and values or the fact that they're going to be fostered in your children why on earth would you send your kids to a faith school?

Obviously I take the point that some parents choose faith schools because they're the best performing schools or because they're the most local but you then have to accept that the faith is part and parcel of your child's schooling surely?

Your complaint is absolutely not with the 'education system' custardo (except in so fat as the government supports faith schools) since the 'sex is bad' message is not one that students will get in a non-faith state school. It's not part of the National Curriculum and absolutely not considered the Govts job to send out this message to children.

Can I ask a slightly off topic question? What exactly do teachers/ visiting speakers cover in sex ed lessons? I only ask because my 12 yr old had this last year but in a Dutch based international school and I want to see if it differs in England. Ds's was pretty explicit, if I remember rightly

I'd find out who the organisation was... Sounds to me like it perhaps was not some official council run youth project, but may have been some sort of Christian group? They can be known to do those sorts of things!

In the UK, in science lessons at 11 they cover puberty and secondary sexual characteristics, menstruation, conception, pregnancy and childbirth. They also do a little on contraception.

I don't know what they cover in PHSE

At 12, the SRE (sex and relationship bit) of PSHE covers puberty and relationships - such as bullying, prejudice, racism etc.

Oxo - there was a programme on the TV a while back in which Davina Mccall looked a sex ed in English schools and compared it with that given in Dutch schools. She took a group of teenagers to a Dutch sex ed lesson and they were shocked at what was taught. Very funny watching the film of them as they sank lower in their chairs while blushing furiously and exchanging looks. And I didn't get the impression they were the most virtuous of teens either..!

That's interesting ArrietyClock. I think the age of consent here is 12 (!) but the number of teenage pregnancies is much lower IIRC which I guess would be the point of the Davina programme.