How do I help DD??

[JanuaryParty]

DD is year 4. She's sociable, kind and gets on fine with her friends. BUT she hates school as she finds all the work hard.

She is at expected level for maths and reading but only just and below for writing and spelling.

I think partly she finds everything hard as she's got no confidence in herself. She automatically assumes she'll 'be rubbish' 'be bottom' and 'can't do it' and I think this is acting as a bit of a barrier for her.

How do I help her overcome this? Once she gets going she is capable of some great work but she never believes this

I feel so sorry for her finding school so hard

With her assessments being good, I am not sure she is finding school that hard: in terms of not being good at anything. She is clearly perfectly ok. So does she seek to compete with the brightest sparks? Who is she sitting with? Why is she doing this? Would she benefit from working with different children?

I would ask to have a quick word with her teacher. Ask her about boosting confidence and DD not always taking a negative stance. Maybe her teacher can give a bit more praise and encouragement?

Not being top affects huge numbers of children. Most in fact. They know they are not the best at everything but get pleasure from doing some things well and getting praise for them. I wouldn’t over praise but she might need to come to the conclusion that you have to get pleasure from other things at school. Eg friendships, art, sport, music, laughter, fun etc. it’s not all about work!

Does she like her school, friends?

My dd was alike this for maths - from reception right through to her GCSEs.
Every single parents evening was about how she was capable and more able than she thought but that she had a blind "cant do this" mentality every lesson.
We got her a great tutor from y9, it really helped because she'd already had most of what lessons at school covered explained to her.
She came out with an 8 at gcse but more importantly it changed her mindset by building her confidence

Do something supportive and fun like the Readingeggs/ express site and maths factor. Little and often to help build confidence