Haemorrhaging money on private tuitions - does this look super inefficient?

[NotVeryChattySchoolMum]

I have 3 school aged kids in London.

On top of wrap around childcare, I spend the following per month:

• £400 on piano lessons (excluding materials) - teacher £50pph for 2 kids once per week (this teacher is one of a kind when it comes to enthusiasm and two talented kids making huge progress - totally worth it)
• £200 on dyslexia tutor (2 online lessons per week for 1 severely dyslexic kid, progress also very visible)
• £30 x 3 kids =£90 monthly swimming membership.
• £18 per month violin lessons in school - very basic but my kid enjoys it
• £250 per month - my teenager is foreign languages geek, he developed sudden interest in one language and now has online lessons with teacher in the country - 6 months and going strong.

I don't feel we are that busy and pushy as family, so I am embarrassed this is what it takes for my kids to have anything extracurricular.

How about you?

Can you afford it? Each of the subjects seems to be yielding benefit and enjoyment, so if you can, I'd continue.

The only exception is swimming - are they all good swimmers? If they are, then maybe switch from lessons to fun sessions instead?

The language tuition sounds very expensive. Only you can say if its worth it or not.

Personally, we are fortunate to be able to afford the few extra curriculars that DD attends. She had swimming until she was at Stage 7, has done ballet until that stopped in covid, did brownies until she lost interest, has a hobby she's very interested in and a musical instrument which she's working hard to achieve grades in. I try to encourage her to do not more than 3 activities each week, one of which has to be an 'exercise'.

Interested in this
When one adds it all up it's horrendous
I need to look at ours
We are herts

We spend even more as I have one being tutored by GCSE tutors. Crazy numbers, hope it's all taking them somewhere...

Yes, we are very fortunate to be able to afford this, but sobering to look at totals when all adds up. Similar here - 3 activities, one of which has to be exercise.

They are not quite good swimmers yet - I'm embarrassed to have started them so late, but better late than never. Like you, I am hoping for them to reach Stage 7, but 30 mins lesson once a week really isn't enough, kids need more time practising in water. Question marks over efficiency, but other (and even more expensive) place is so over-subscribed the waiting list is months long.

The language looks expensive - but I'm chalking this up to an opportunity for my teenager son to conduct lesson in foreign language in my mother language simultaneously. So it's practising in 2 languages effectively twice a week, could drop this to once a week.

@ElephantLover - I was hoping to add in 1 academic tutor as well, but I had a look at my numbers and ...it's horrenous, surely many normal families of modest means manage somehow without all this? My DH said as long as these lessons are more useful than private school fees would have been, then we can keep going.

If you can afford it go for it. If not, consider sitting down with your kids and asking what they would like to continue with.

Am I right that the 2 DC are having an hour each for their piano lessons each week? Would the teacher consider 30 minutes each? That should be plenty of they then practise between lessons.

Looks like money well spent, if you can afford it.

It’s a snip compared to private school fees.

I read your list with mounting horror, thinking how ridiculous and over the top it was. Then I realised that I spend more than that each month on DD's horses. So, in that light your spending seems absolutely fine to me.

Correct. I am not musical, so I have no idea on length-benefit of music lessons, but thanks for the heads up. Can raise this with the teacher.

If you can afford it and want to do it then crack on. My kids didn't too many activities as they were close in age and were good at occupying themselves.

The did extra sports at school and I did swim lessons until they were confident. Then we would just go to the pool and mess about having fun.

The piano sounds so expensive but if your kids enjoy it then it's a life long skill.

I used to let my kids drop out of things quite happily. They had to finish the paid for sessions but could then drop out. As adults they have maintained hobbies and sports so I assume me allowing them to chop and change as didnt make them flakey.

Made me laugh, thanks. We do what we gotta do...

I added mine up the other day and it was much higher than I thought combined. A lot of activities don’t sound much for an individual lesson but once multiple children are doing something it starts to add up. Piano is our most expensive. I try to put it in the context of private school fees so state plus activities is still saving a lot compared to private fees.

Outside of London so dayschool fees are £12-15k per year.
Compared to outside London your costs per hour are very high.
We pay £20 per half an hour piano or 1 hour of French.
Grass livery for pony £100 each per month.

Piano is not necessarily a lifelong skill. I passed Grade 6 piano at a decent level. I recall being excellent at sight reading and at the aural work.

Here we are, 40 years later. We haven't owned a piano since so haven't played since I was 16 or so. It was literally like looking at a piece of Russian. I couldn't read the music and couldn't remember any of my pieces I used to play.

So I dispute it's for life! (ok - maybe if I paid out for some lessons it would come back admittedly, who knows)

The only thing for me that piano has been helpful for is that I'm an excellent touch typist - handy for sending emails!

What's well spent about piano lessons? I'm a grade 8 but haven't played in 45 years. Not sure what the benefit is?

Mine did 30 minute piano lessons until her teacher suggested upping this to 45 minutes, I think at around grade 4/5 level. I had a "flexible" 45 minutes when doing grade 8 (flexible as the teacher came to our house and taught three of us, so although there was a nominal split of the time, if one of us had an exam coming up then the balance could shift a bit).

Just to balance up a bit on the benefit of piano lessons, some of us do still play in adulthood. I've been able to accompany my daughter for her exams, and her and her friends in school concerts, I play for a primary school production every year, and also play the organ regularly. (I even get a bit of income from playing for weddings and funerals!)

(On the typing front, we did observe that the only child ahead of my DD on "times table rock stars" was the exceptionally advanced pianist - we conjectured that it came down to typing speed at the top end, and pianists had the advantage.)

If your kids are in state schools, compare the amount to what you'd be spending on private education, and it doesn't look nearly so bad.