School avoidant/refuser

[Mottledhellibore]

I have a nearly 15 year old refusing to go to school. It has been an issue on and off since high school. Changed one school due to non attendance but problem continued with sporadic periods of not attending. No bullying identified, not particularly academic but not struggling, has a small group of friends.Covid hadn't helped. Anyone else in the same boat?

Join the Facebook group ‘not fine in school’, there are many people in a similar situation.

Have the school offered any help or identified what the issues could be?

Thank you. No, school has not identified anything. I've contacted the ewo for support. I will look at the FB group.

Why does the DC say they don't want to go?

He tells me it's everything. No specific thing. Doesn't see why he has to go to school, why if he doesn't want to, doesn't see the point in learning/ education. I feel so frustrated, respond with strong boundaries or a therapeutic approach

So he/she is giving the impression it's can't be bothered rather than anxiety or SEN?

What do they think they are going to do post y11?
What do you say to your DC are the consequences if not in employment, education or training then?

This may sound bonkers but could you 'pay' your DC for attendance?
Payment in

• access to phone / electronics
• access to wifi
• actual pocket money

It started 3 years ago with genuine anxiety. A whole term of shaking, crying, rocking not being able to leave the house, get out of the car. This has, post covid lockdown developed to a real dislike of school too. Yesterday he was anxious. So I really don't know. Tried rewards etc. Talk sjout consequences of not goin to school, he tells me he isn't bothered.I have a meeting with the ewo on Thursday. Fingers crossed that will help.

Is it therefore bravado due to anxiety?
Will they do schoolwork at home?
(My DD missed all y11 due to MH issues after lockdown. I do feel for you.)

Oh gosh, poor thing. It's really hard. I think it is bravado covering anxiety. I hope that the meeting on Thursday will help.

Ask if the SENCO can come to the meeting too, given your sons past history it sounds as if anxiety is a barrier and he needs extra support in this area.

Has your child seen a clinical psychologist for a formulation (shared understanding of what's going on and why) and intervention (what to actually do about it)?

I get the impression the original issues haven't been addressed at all.