Private School for 2 children

[TheOneTed]

Hi there, I have a 3 year old DD and was planning to send her to private school. The local primary got a Needs Improvement ofsted rating which meant I looked at the local private school - and was really taken by the facilities / grounds etc.

I have just found out I'm pregnant again, and am worried about the costs for 2. We are a high earning family (around £450k / year), but it means we will be tied to working full time -high pressure jobs for a long time! We also have fairly higher mortgage / car costs.

Can anyone share their experience if they had a similar choice to make? What was the outcome for you? Many thanks

And to think that saving now is a really good idea. Like it was a lightbulb moment!

For how many? Have you looked at the fees? Because unless you have no mortgage and very unlikely for more than one beyond prep

We chose not to.

DD has extra-curricular hobbies that seem very likely to become her future adult career. If I add it all up, I basically spend the equivalent of private school fees on those each year. If we had gone with a private school option, we would not have been able to afford both.

It all depends how much disposable income you are left with.

It also depends on whether the school fees could actually absorb some of your extra curricular costs. A good private school will have loads of sporting opportunities, and plenty of after school activities included within the fees (some activities will be extra, like music lessons). But not many schools have ballet classes for example, so you would still be paying extra for that.

Depending on the school, 14 years' education will come in between £250-500k (day school) so there is definitely an argument that the child would be better off with a lump sum of £250k to put on a house. But that's your decision to make! (Jackie Chan famously said that he won't be giving his children any money, because if they're sensible then they can make their own, and if they're foolish then he doesn't want them wasting his!)

I would move to an area that had better schools rather than send my children to private school.

education shouldn’t be paid for.

If you have a 3year old then what is your current childcare arrangement and what will you do for childcare with 2DC?

Private school fees are not much more than the cost of full time childcare for under 3yr olds. The difference is committing to it for 15+ years not just muddling through until you get funded nursery hours.

How old is she?

I’m wondering if your current spending on holidays and such is wildly extravagant? We have v similar income to you, very large mortgage and two at private school (senior) - and can easily afford the fees. BUT, unlike many of our friends, we don’t fly business class, we holiday a lot but have a “budget”: eg £7k for a half term break not £20k like others. We also have a lot of savings so if we lost our jobs or were ill the school fees are covered. Not needling you, I’m just genuinely intrigued what on Earth you’re spending the money on if you’re not already saving masses. When we were at your age and stage we were on a quarter of what you are so there was no spare .

Ps very happy with the private school. Particularly for DD with HF ASD as the small class sizes have been brilliant - as confirmed by the SALT who went in and observed her in class (and marvelled at how great the school was and how it was such a good fit and how much better than the local “needs improvement” option)

If the state school is not good, you shouldn’t even think about sending your kids there with that income. Yes, you can save that money for your kids for their deposit in future etc.. But would you be happy if they own house but not perfectly educated? Our income is similar and we have 2 kids as well. I prefer my kids to have bessttttt education/diploma/career rather then having a home or luxury car when they get older. If they have really good education and diploma they can even buy everything whitout our help! Private education also will provide them good connections, better facilities etc… We work for our kids, we live for their future so their education deserve every single penny!!!!! Meanwhile its not only for getting better grades or diploma - the environment also has vital role in young age! It is a fact that their is less risk for bulling in private schools. And also with that income you can still save for their future! We do have 2 mortgages, 2 cars and currently 2 kids in private school and we can also save. So its no brainer to send them to school that you know that it is not good!

Honestly I don’t even know why you’re worried about it. Surely on that kind of salary you have a good chunk of the fees already saved?

We earn about a quarter of what you do, and have already saved about half of future school fees (we’re in the North so it’s about £100k (ish) for one child for secondary.

If you’re worried do state for a bit and then private?

You’re being ridiculous. You’re on an obscene salary and you’re not in London therefore your fees are almost certainly cheaper than London fees: you can afford it without even blinking an eyelid. Infact, I would go so far as to say this thread is a windup, nobody on nearly half a mill a year thinks they can’t afford school fees for 2 kids

We have a similar income, two, shortly to be three in private. We have a high ish mortgage and a nanny. One of our children has SEN needs so that also adds about £1k a month in additional support costs. It's tight, but our childcare costs will decrease over the next few years.

Once you start private it's very hard to stop - and yes it means we are locked into full time 60 hour plus jobs a year, though we both work flexibly.

…anyone I speak to with children in private school say it's worth every penny.

In my experience, people who spend a huge amount on private schools usually say exactly this, but I think that is often said to justify their decision to pay for education. If you sent them to a local state school, you could provide a wonderful range and quality of extra paid-for activities for a fraction of the cost of school fees, and have money left to set aside a sizeable nest egg for each of them.

Thanks everyone. Appreciate the responses. As I said, I wasn't concerned about the affordability right now.. more about the significant commitment over the next 18 years, and if people thought it was worth it.

I don't come from a wealthy background, and I know people with high incomes can have changes in circumstances that leave them in huge financial difficulty if they've got large outgoings. I would never want to be in a position where I would need to take my child/children out of a school because I could no longer afford the fees.

Thanks for those who have shared their experiences, it's been very helpful.

“I would never want to be in a position where I would need to take my child/children out of a school because I could no longer afford the fees.”

You are earning 450k a year and thinking about that! Sorry but we all don’t know whats going to happen in future. It is the same for everyone! For example, me and my husband are surgeon - do we need to think If we loose ours hands or job what we are going to do with the fees?
No! Thats so stressful! If you are worring about that a lot do some investment now! For example we bought our second flat - its 4 bed we rent it around £3000 a month so we have a guarantee income every month (ofcourse we do have mortgage for to pay for that flat but its around £1400 a month). We live in London and sometimes we do even rent it in AirBNB. And we bought that flat off plan so we paid about %20 before completion - thats helped for use to have a smaller mortgage. You can do health insurance, life insurance etc… You are still pregnant so you have around 4 years to save money! Because you will need to pay the fees for the first child only for these years. If you have so much concerns you may try 7+, which is a bit risky in London - I dont know your area! But suggest you to enjoy your pregnancy now and dont overthink a lot! Good luck!

@acca2017

i don’t understand your point
is it essentially “don’t worry about the future?”

@Endlesslypatient82 Her income is 450k annually and she will spend around £40k max for her both kids annually in total for primary (this is when her second baby start to nursery - 4 years ago) That shows that she will spend her 1/11 income for her kids education. What I am trying to say she doesn’t need to think if its worth or not especially when she is not happy with local state school!

Have you actually looked at the state option? DD's primary was "requires improvement" for part of the time she was there, but I think most parents were happy with it (predominantly well-educated middle-class parents, lots of high-achieving kids). There's always something that could be improved, and it sometimes turns out that the failing Ofsted perceived is not something that will particularly affect your child, or that Ofsted drawing attention to it is enough for the school to remedy things fairly quickly. I would not judge a school purely on its Ofsted rating.

I'm not going to say whether or not you can afford it, because there are so many factors there. But allow for inflation, consider whether you might possibly have third child, and be pretty sure before you commit to private. It might be better to save the money now to be sure that private is an option later.

(DD fully state-educated, apart from two terms of weekly tuition in one subject - and plenty of privately-educated kids do this too - and doing an extra language privately for fun. Both schools "required improvement" for part of the time she was there. GCSE results pending, but should be very good.)

You ever heard of tax?!

@preppingforlife yes, ofcourse! Another good point! We pay more tax than the school fees!!! So I would save or pay more tax each year? I spend on my daughters education! They deserve every single penny!!!!!!

@acca2017

you started a thread last month about fa tYour 10 year was in a state school and had been state educated since starting school and you were planning on moving her for secondary.

so you didn’t do it for prep? 😐

Your 10 year old was a state school and had been throughout and you were planning on moving her at secondary

I meant to say but typos

www.mumsnet.com/talk/education/4583067-how-can-i-change-my-daughters-mind-i-do-nor-want-her-to-go-to-single-sex-school

the thread @acca2017 started about her child in state primary but planning not moving until secondary

@acca2017

if you dd had passed the 11 plus for grammar school, would you have sent her there?