11+ 3rd mock exam and no improvement

[Amkotbj]

Ds has done 3 mocks in the last 4 months and his willingness for work and putting effort in has decreased so his results are pretty much identical in fact his last one is slightly worst. We don’t want to force him (his wants to go to a local school) but just feel we put so much effort and money into tutoring and feel regardless of the end result he should make some more effort for this last 5 weeks but feel if I force him he will just lose any passion he had before

He's telling you what he wants. What makes you think he'd be willing to put the work in if he got a place?

Is the local school he wants to go to the one he needs to pass the 11+ for?

If he is capable he will get through the test and if he isn't he won't. Its not a failure, or a waste of your money, its about sending him to a school that is right for him where he will cope with the work and be happy. Poor thing, under pressure not to waste your money at such a young age . Grammar school isn't for everyone. To get in and then not be able to cope must be awful.

He is incredibly driven and always does his best at school and is passionate about learning so we have no concern that he will cope fine in a grammar school.He is very vocal about the fact that the 11+ test is very boring and nothing enjoyable is involved and so he is not interested.
Him wanting to go to his local school is based on friendship and his slight obsession about his older brother and wanting to do what he does. I feel our only choice is to leave him be and enjoy his summer and just hope for the best

That's the sunk cost fallacy. At this rate, even if he does pass the 11+, you'll be paying for extra tuition for the next 7 years.

I am an 11+ tutor.

One thing I say to my parents is that the MUST have 2 whole weeks off over the summer with not a single mention of the 11+. Parents look horrfied and kids cheer!

Why? because they get tired. It has been a long year, first full year in school since they were in year 2. Hot weather, lots of extra work for tutoring, and they are knackered. Motivation is low and they are stale.
They take some time off, and come back fresher and more able to do it. There is also something about how your brain sorts and processes information that means they seem to make a leap forward after a short break.

I also find that on the day they all rise to the occasion and mostly do the upper limit of their best.

the other thing I say to parents is reward effort and time spent, reward them after exam and before results come out. Let them know how proud you are of the extra work and input they have put in. Also whatever your own feelings, make it clear that if they pass there is this good school, and if they don't pass there is this other perfetcly fine school, and aren't we lucky to live in a country with lost of opportunities? And also whether they pass or fail they are still clever, they would not be sitting the exam if they weren't and it is just an exam on one day. Take the pressure off. They are only 10.

Given all that, you are so close to the end that I would go ahead and do the exam. Have a break, really get out and enjpy the summer, come back to it last week of the holidays, with loads of encouragement and have a go. It is good for them to have a go after all the work.

And finally, while I did listen to my kids about which school they went to, they did not choose, I did. Because a 10 year old has no comprehension of how different schools approach exams, or what a difference certain things would make. My ds did not want to go to his grammar school at all. Was quite cross with us about it. I promised him that if he was not happy at the end of year 7 he could swap. He came home on day 1 smiling, and stayed. Made good friends, people that he really got on with and is still friends with now. He told me aged 17 that he was really pleased we had pushed him to do it, and he now understood why.

we purely went for tuition to get him prepared for the actual exam and the techniques. I’m sure those who have done it and have knowledge about the 11+ will agree that the test result is not a reflection of someone’s knowledge or whether they academically can cope in a grammar school or not

That’s very helpful. Thanks very much @steppemum We want to do the best for him and genuinely feel that being with other likeminded kids who love learning thrive at school would be best for him. The only doubt we have is the travelling and not having local friends but as you said we ll give a try and I’m sure whatever happens will be for the right reason

The summers before mine both passed the 11+ we did 10-15 mins a day in the week apart from when we went away for holidays.

Ds1 did well on mocks. Ds2 was shockingly bad because he couldn't get it done in the time limits, but on the day the both passed with good scores and got grammar offers.

If he's done the prep work just keep it fresh in his mind and try not to worry.

In my experience the kids who did best in the 11+ were the ones who really wanted it. Quite a few bright kids who either didn’t want to put in any effort or who didn’t want to go to Grammar that we knew really didn’t do as well as they were capable of while a couple of middling kids who were absolutely determined to do well worked their bums off and got places
If your son won’t it the effort in he’s unlikely to get a place

That is very interesting to hear. Ds does struggle with time so that’s definitely one of the problems we have

well from all my tutees over the years, I often have kids who are here because parents want it and not because they do. Unless they have a real chip on their shoulder, on the day they seem to do OK. But that is because we have worked steadily all year towards it, they are well prepared, and so able to produce their best on the day.

I agree though that middling kids who are really keen can work hard and get themselves in.

I bribed my youngest son. 5p for every correct answer in practice, and £1 for every 11+ mark!
so even if he doesn’t meet the score hopefully there’s incentive to try.
it’s a long old slog to the 11+ and I do think that boys are wired differently to girls.

Oh and make sure he had a few weeks off completely!!

Just a quick update. Ds has ended up getting a great score. He had the whole summer off as felt there was no point in pushing him but with a lot of hiss friends being there on the day I guess it’s pushed him to do his best.Now the task of convincing him that a grammar is the right place for him…

Ah that’s a great update op, sometimes we just have to trust our children!!