How 'churchy' are C of E schools?

[KnitterInTheNW]

Hi, before I ask my question I want to make it clear that I don't want to offend anyone with my opinions on religion etc, I fully respect everyone's right to believe in what they wish.

Here goes...

We're expecting our 1st child at the beginning of April, and about to move house too (stupid I know!)

The house we want to buy is equidistant 'as the crow flies' to 2 primary schools, one is a C of E school and the other just the local community one. The C of E one has better ofsted reports etc, and my DH is insistent that he wants his child to go to the best school possible, and of course in theory I agree.

My problem is that the whole religion thing makes me feel very uncomfortable, I don't particularly want my child being taught that the correct way to do things is to live your life by one religion or another. Obviously teaching him ABOUT all the different religions is brilliant, I just don't want him thinking that there's only one way to live your life, and actually as long as you're a nice person and treat others as you'd like to be treated yourself, that's perfect. He may decide when he's older that a particular religion is for him, and I'd support that, but being taught from a young age that 'this is the only way to think about stuff' I disagree with. I kind of see it a bit like, I'm vegetarian but will bring him up eating meat, and he can make the decision himself when he's older.

Oh, and I know we've got a good few years to sort this out, but DH is sure he won't back down, and I'm sitting here in tears (not difficult at 6 months pg!) thinking about it all.

I have no experience of church schools, and would really appreciate any comments anyone has to make. I hope I've come across as just asking a question, rather than putting down anyone's beliefs.

Thankyou!

It really varies! The school my sister has applied for is C of E and really just a churchy version of the norma, iyswim. Whereas ours (Cin Wales but the equivalent) is hgely religious- prayers 5 times a day, scripture exams in reception (!), head can be anyone as longa s they are a communicant member of the Anglican Diocese etc etc etc...

You'd have to visit the individual school, really. And look at their admissions criteria too- catchment not top of the list here, neither is SN or LAC despite that being the usual criteria (attendance first, then catchemnt siblings LAC SN)

The religious ethos and activity will vary hugely between CoE schools. So many simply ARE the loca school and may not be more religious than a community school. Others will be very hands on actively religious. Depends on the govrnors, the attitude of the vicar the schoo is attached to.

Secondly, your DH can have his preferences, but the truth is your child may not stand a chance of getting in unless you attend church. It is possible that as there are two local schools, and the CoE one has better ofsted, that this will polarise the catchment, and the CoE will prioritise church attenders - if the school is oversubscribed, it could mean you don't get a place anyway.

Also, things can change rapidly in school terms, and until you have both visited both schools much closer to the time your child will attend, neither of you can make a firm decision, imo.

So spend the time enjoying your pg, and maybe thinking about how you and your DH are going to negotiate the many big decisions you have ahead of you - some of them before school choice!

It varies, as do entrance requirements. Ds1's is VC, so has exactly the same entrance requirements as a non-church school - SENS, siblings, distance.

We wanted the children to go to a church school, as church goers ourselves, and it is lovely. They have a whole school assembly each day, which is broadly Christian I would say - it isn't 'indoctrination into CE faith' - the head will take a topic - for example, being kind, tell a story, they might sing a song/hymn, and then probably a little prayer at the end. They have a special harvest festival service at the church, a carol service and a couple of other services up there. Once a week the rector from the church comes down and takes assembly. Other than that there is no difference as far as I can see. Certainly no implications in lessons.

I went to catholic schools for my whole education, and not sure how different they are to CofE, but there was a lot of focus on religion.

Primary school - In assembly we sung hymns and had stories from the bible. We had a weekly mass and termly we were taken to church. They prepared us for and organised our first communion and I generally remember God being huge part of being at school, to the extent that I wasn't aware that there were other ways of thinking ( and I thought our priest was God ).

Secondary school was more open I felt, weekly services were optional although we still got taken to church once a term.
R.E lessons did teach us about other religions, but the ethos was fundementally Christian and things like sex education were very poor and we were made to watch Pro-life abortion films.

However, this was the 80's, and it was a catholic school so not sure how different things are now.

Hope this is helpful.

Same as torty here

our head of governors does have a van that says:

• Music lessons
• Pa and Equipemnt hire
• Spreading the word of God!

makes me larf

Thankyou, I know I'm being very premature in worrying, we'll go and see them both at the right time, and argue away from there!

It's also worth thinking- OFSTED aren't the bea all and end all. our school gets great OFSTED but whilst it's hugely suitable for ds2 and he loves it there as a bright, NT child- the toehr two would haev been far better off at the other local school is we'd been able to arrange transport. And I get realy about the school's refuassal to acknowledge toher faiths- soemthingt hat matters to me as I believe knowledge breaks down barriers and builds understanding, and which your OP seems to indictae as well.

Once you've lived in the catchment for a while you'll get to know the reputations and see the school in action at fetes etc.

I think it depends on the church that the school is attached too the one ours is attached to is quite happy clappy so they ban things like halloween etc and have an into the light party instead
we go there as it is literally 100 yards from our house my dh is RC btw and our son is doing first holy communion at the moment
he does come home saying religious things sometimes but not so much that it would bother me I am a non believer so c of e suits me as I feel it is not as overtly religious as an RC school would be iyswim

DD went to a CofE nursery, attached to the church we went to and it was nothing other than a small village nursery, they didn't do anything churchy, ever.

She is now at a non-faith school and they ahve had people in over the last few days talking about God, she was told the story of Daniel, and at no point told it may not be true, which I was quite surprised at, I'm happy for her to believe in God, we are a Christian family but I try to encourage her to see the bible as a book of stories that may or may not be true which hold a good message, she understands the problems that arise from following it too literally and the amount of translation it went through etc, but like I say, at school she is told about God and bible stories as if they are Fact which does surprise me.

Before we moved here I was considering sending her to a CofE school but when we went to see it the majority of pupils were Muslim and because of this the school was very limited in what it could/would do and say WRT religion.

Best bet is to go look round the school, maybe join one nursery and swap over if you're worried, because then you can at least get to meet the parents and speak to them about what it's like, maybe they have a mums and tots group nearby? There will probably be parents from both schools with younger siblings there.

Also, if you do wish to go by OFSTED reports (I decided not to move DD to the closer school when we moved recently because the OFSTED report was so poor) it's worth remembering by the time your LO goes to school the reports could well have changed.

Even if your LO does end up going to the Faith school you can still shape his/her views on religion without criticising the school and their ways.

Very cute peachy!

Velbels, you might want to check out some of the hot threads on home births going on at the moment. here & here
The people I've known who have had home births have prepared for them months in advance and read tons of books on the subject but you still have time if that's what you want. I'd just say that most of the preparation is down to you.

TMP: Glad to hear you're ok. that must have been quite a scare!

VS: Sorry to hear you're having a crappy day. Hope it gets better!

Knitter:l The whole schooling system over here is a bit of a shock to me. In Ireland primary school was Catholic by default (because almost everyone was Catholic at the time, though that's all changed now) but the odd one's who weren't just didn't do religion. For secondary our religion classes were about 'all religions' and all sorts of topical issues (family planning, homosexuality etc) and I learned a lot but I think the school was quite forward in that way. I've understood from my cousins in the UK that the better state schools are usually Catholic and so you have to be Catholic to get in and even then the Parish priest can interview you and you have to be seen going to mass etc. so some of my cousins are actually starting to go to mass now for the sake of their childs schooling! My husband is jewish and I'm catholic so i guess i'm in trouble...

I've just checked with my insurance and I'm covered for abroad. My friends water broke just after midnight and I am waiting for news. This is her 2nd baby and I will hopefully get to see him/her when I go to Dublin on Monday! The arrival of babies is even more exciting now that i'm expecting my own!

Our ds went to C of E primary, simply because it's the local village school and just across the green.

There were a couple of times when I had to raise an eyebrow about the whole clappy clappy christian thing, but it v. rarely raised it's head and on the whole I have no complaints (prob. helps that dh and I both atheists so ds felt free to dismiss the bits of religion he didn't agree with).

I'm sure if your dc goes to the C of E, he won't have Christianity rammed down his throat every day, and after all the general Christian ethos of "be kind to each other" can't really be argued with

There are such a wide variety of 'shades of churchy' aren't there, I'm going to have to ask DH if we can not talk about it any more til nearer the time, when I'm not full of pg hormones and slightly more able to talk about it rationally!

I went to a C of E school and both my dcs have attended C of E schools. I, as a long time heathen, haven't found them to be too churchy. They haven't made them repent in assembly as far as I'm aware.

it REALLY depends on the school- my DCs all went to Cof E high school and ended up being offered communion in assembly, had no idea of the implication of this as we are humanists (kind of), also towards the end, DD shown pro life propaganda which i would have made a fuss about if they hadn't been about to leave anyway. On the plus side, man who was head for most of their time there, was the best kind of Xian, immense conceren and respect for all pupils and their families, this showed in the ethos of the school. You can only go and visit to find out...they'll be surprised to be visited by a bump, though!

Oops!, I put my comments on the wrong thread. Will go back to my antenatal thread now. Sorry for the confusion.