Unlearning to write

[OhHoHoOhNo]

I feel lost. DS is 4 and is due to start reception in September. Its a flexi school.

He has already shown an interest in wanting to read and write. As a result, I have bought some wipe clean books to practise letters etc.

Today another mum - in a nutshell - said that her DS's future teacher had said this sort of thing is detrimental because they have to "unlearn" it so that they can learn properly at school.

I have previously mentioned to my DS's future teacher that DS already has notions of reading and writing and asked if it would cause a problem and she said no - but could she just be trying to be nice? It was at an open day type setting.

I can't seem to find concensus on this. There are thousands of home schooled children who can read and write, surely? The only information I can seem to find is a note about holding the pencil wrong, but I checked and DS holds it in a tripod, which supposedly is the right way.

Any advice welcomed.

If you have taught him incorrectly, such as forming letters the wrong way or using all capitals, then he will have to learn the correct way when he starts school. But it won't be that hard for him if he is a reasonably quick learner.

Thank you. The book has little arrows to follow and so on so I thought it would be OK. I didn't want to argue with my friend though.

You are over thinking this. They will be fine. They learn so fast that even if you had taught Hebrew, they would still get it quick! Don't worry and enjoy the writing activities with him, it's still helping him learn how to hold a pen and move his hand. ❤

What she means is he'll have to learn the way school do it. They may teach them to form letters differently so he'll have to change what he knows rather than learning from scratch, but it's really not a big deal. You're doing the right thing with following his interest in things.

It's the same with letter sounds. Most schools start with Ah Buh Cuh Duh Eh etc, but lots of children come in having been taught Ayy Bee Cee Dee Eee Ef etc. So they have to relearn what that letter says (before then learning the letter names again later on).

It's often because parents don't teach the same way as school. I've seen children only learn names of letters not sounds, only capitals etc. They aren't helpful things.
The first stage of writing is 'mark making' anyway which is a variety of activities which promote correct pencil control as children need a certain level of fine motor control before they are physically able to form the letters correctly.

He knows both aay bee cee and ah buh cuh. He is bilingual in another language too so wanted to flexischool so that we have time to learn some bits from that language too at home.
I'm frustrated that people succeed in making me feel bad about him when actually he's a really bright boy. I know that countering what they say with a comment like "actually he's doing really well" wouldn't go down well so I don't say anything. A lot of people seem to have opinions on things, and it shakes my confidence. I'm a secondary teacher myself (or rather I was before having him)

Thank you all for making me feel better.

As a secondary teacher I am probably not in the best position to know, so thanks for messages.
What I do remember though is the kids whose parents didn't take an interest in their learning were quite easy to spot :-(

Just nod and smile and then completely disregard what they've said.

Or say 'hmm that's a really interesting approach/idea thanks for sharing it with me, we're actually doing xyz but I'll bear it in mind'.

My DD wanted some work when her brother was doing his in the first lockdown so ended up learning to read and write all the phase 2 phonics. Her reception teacher genuinely seemed happy and DD didn't seem to get bored even though they didn't set them in the first term, the only difference is she skipped a book band or two. The school taught pre-cursive so not quite the same as she learnt but it didn't hinder her.
Now at the end of year 1 she's still at the top end but no longer way ahead of the class.

I'm 64. They told my mother this nonsense. Can't believe they're still spouting it. Your ds will be fine (depending on how spiteful his teacher is, and hopefully there aren't many spiteful teachers left in primary! Though to be fair... oh, never mind!) and will learn to do it their way if he has to. You're doing so well - bilingual and learning to read and write... superb, what advantages for a child. Keep going, no matter what the other parents say - or the teachers, come to that.

As above, nod and smile and carry on. Lots of mark making, and fun writing like doing a shopping list together. Kids often show you when they are ready so I think its fine to encourage them if they show signs of interest.

Mine did print letters in reception then were supposed to do cursive later (which looks awful but part of KS 2 expectations). We stuck to print as DS has dyspraxia so it worked better for him.

There's some great books for early years about writing and mark making in this series (Featherstone Press The Little Book of Mark Making by Elaine Massey). I work at a Uni and this is what our child care students (nursery nurses and EY foundation stage/reception) use when researching ideas for this. Writing can be multisensory - sand, glitter, flour, chalks, bath crayons etc. Enjoy exploring!

The other mum is just bonkers (or poss jealous who knows).

Buy a reputable book and crack on, lots of early developing kids learn letters pre school. If he has to relearn a bit who cares? The main thing is he is learning to be curious and having his brain stimulated.

I think the only time this is a problem is when people teach kids ay bee see instead of phonics and also if they learn only caps or wrong letter formation. But you sound like you have done your homework and are using suitable resources with correct formation etc.

P/s Write Dance is also fun - it has a CD of songs and stories and focuses on pre-writing patterns. It's widely used in European countries, the author is Dutch I think.Twinkl will have some free stuff as well

Even if the school teach cursive straight away (which I think is madness by the way) the letter formation is the same they just add on the flicks in and out. Which is exactly how most kids learnt before some schools decided to try to make kids write cursive which is entirely impossible to read. Print first, then add flicks, then join up. Also for the record my son's writing was practically unreadable when junior school insisted he join up but now in year 7 he prints and his writing is much neater and readable, and none of his secondary school teachers care.

Pps and lots of fine and gross motor play as hands, (finger bones) and things like shoulder and wrist muscles still developing at age 4 so play using these foundational skills is excellent to aid their development and provide a great start for writing skills too.

My DD could read and write before starting school, she was fine no unlearning required

Why listen to another mum rather than the teacher? I'm sure it's fine.

Don't nurseries all still teach writing letters? The majority of kids start school able to at least write their own name and some will be independently writing sentences phonetically

I think the problem is the children who arrive at school reading and writing but not potty trained or able to use a knife and fork.

It sounds like you have book that shows the correct way to write letters so I wouldn't worry.

I was told the exact same thing with my son. It was never a problem, In fact he was put into the year above for phonics and is still way ahead for reading. I am doing the same thing with my younger son as he has shown a keen interest. I think perhaps the comment came from jealousy.

He'll be fine, even if the school teaches slightly different letter formation.

Mine was one of those terrible children who arrived in school writing her name in capitals. I had NEVER written her name all in capitals (except on forms that required it) - this was entirely her own idea. She couldn't hold a pencil very well, couldn't manage curved lines, knew both forms of the letters, and she chose to write her name in capitals because that meant almost entirely straight lines. As she learned to write the lower case letters in the first term, she switched over when writing her name - you could date her pictures for that term by the number of capital letters in her name!

This other mum is probably jealous. I used to teach Reception and it is a big help if dc can recognise letters (at least their own name), are toilet trained and can use cutlery… and don’t wear laces if they can’t re-tie them! I could also read and write in Nursery (age 3) and I’m a summer baby. Btw dc usually learn how to do cursive writing in Year 3. EYFS and KS1 teachers may write in cursive, but don’t expect their pupils to.

Have a look at jolly phonics on YouTube to make sure you are saying the sounds right. I work in p1 and even sometimes the teachers forget themselves and say luh rather than lllll. (Normally cover ones who usually teach higher up the school). If people are making effort to teach their dc stuff tbh we'd rather they spent that time on teaching them to undo their own buttons, put on their own coat/shoes, use cutlery etc but if your dc is naturally showing an interest then no harm on going with it. They may well have to re learn techniques not at that age that's no harder than learning it the first time.

It is sort of true, but does depend on the child and what you are teaching. If you are just teaching sounds (a, buh, cuh- but without the uh bit where possible) and blending, it’s unlikely to ever be an issue.

If you are teaching letter names instead of or as well as it becomes a bit more complicated. Some children do find it hard to differentiate between the names which are never used for reading and the sounds which are. They can end up using the names and sounds interchangeably when trying to blend. This can be very hard to undo and can hold them back. If your child never does this then it won’t be an issue but you can’t predict which children it would be an issue for until it’s too late so it’s best not to introduce the letter names until reading and writing are secure.