All girls comp v mixed grammar

[Yale445]

Our DD passed her eleven plus but missed out on her first choice on offer day due to distance . She had attended an induction at our nearest all girls comp which has good results and a good reputation locally. However I have just been notified that a space has come up at her original first choice which is a mixed sex grammar . I’m really torn. DD is generally quite academic but I have talked us both round to the benefits and safety of SIngle sex. I have never heard anything negative about the grammar most parents are pretty happy but reading the latest Ofsted report into behaviour of boys in schools and threads on here have made me really worried. Plus the behaviour of some boys in her Y6 class. The grammar offers more languages which she loves and clubs and is an easy bus ride and short walk but I feel very anxious at accepting the place and her going to a mixed sex school after everything I have read. She is quite a “girly” girl and petite and young for her age (August baby) the thought of mixed suddenly seems very scary even though I think academically it is probably a better fit. Any thoughts ?

I have never heard of a mixed sex grammar school before, but I would choose that if she passed her 11 plus.

My daughter is also August born, went to a mixed secondary comp and did exceptionally well both in GCSEs and A levels.

Really? Never heard of a mixed sex grammar? They aren’t that rare!! Personally I’m not a fan of single sex schools so for me it would be a no-brainer. “Safety” of single sex…. Wow you sound incredibly paranoid

I would also be wary of just getting into a grammar. It can be difficult to be near the bottom in ability at that age.

Hasnt research shown that girls perform better academically in a single sex provision? Added to that the stat I read that 1 rape a day happens in UK schools I'd argue that yes girls are safer in a single sex provision.

@toobusytothink thank you for your comment but if you take the time to read the Ofsted report I am talking about then you might have a bit more understanding of why I am “paranoid”. I completely realise that many many children go to mixed sex schools and are completely fine but the report is harrowing reading. I will continue to be “paranoid” when it comes to my daughter. I wish I didn’t have to be but I was asking for informed opinions not accusations of paranoia.

I think there are 2 issues here:
Firstly comp vs grammar: if the comp caters for pupils with high ability and has pupils achieving similar final GCSE results to the other school then that's sorted.
Secondly single sex vs mixed: which school will these boys in her Y6 class be going to, will it be the grammar or an alternative comp? Is there any reference to pupil behaviour in the OFSTED report for the mixed school that you are considering or is this a more general report?
it sounds to me as if your preference is now for the girl's school.

It all comes down to what you know of the individual schools, I'd say. I have nothing at all against single sex schools (I've worked in several), but girls' schools are not immune to problems, serious bullying etc. If I were you I'd be asking everyone I could possibly think of for their opinions and experiences of the two schools.

I think on balance I'd go for the grammar though. Boys' behaviour isn't the same in all schools. Intake and the school's behaviour management make a huge difference. If the grammar school parents seem happy with the school, then there is probably good reason for that

I would go for the grammar, it’s seems a shame to miss out on the place. I passed my 11plus and would have been gutted not to have taken up my grammar school place.

Mixed sex grammar, all the way, especially if she's academic. It would be a shame to send her to a comp if she has high academic capability.

I went to a mixed grammar and it was great.

I really think you are worrying needlessly. What is it about the presence of males in a school that you think is going to be so detrimental?

Btw, your daughter will encounter boys/men in her life regardless of whether she goes to a single or mixed sex school.

would also be wary of just getting into a grammar. It can be difficult to be near the bottom in ability at that age the OP’s daughter just got in due to location not ability.

No brainer for me. I vehemently object to single sex education and it’s a better school

Thank you all

DD is pleased to have been offered a place but wants to stay at all girls , however I am under no illusions as I think this is because her best friend and several others from her primary are going. Only one boy she doesn’t really know is off to the grammar. Most of the boys who cause problems are off to the nearest all boys school.

the grammar offers so much academically and I know the likelihood is she’ll be fine but it’s an Ofsted report into sexual abuse in schools I’ve read and it has worried the life out of me. I just want to know if it bears any resemblance at all to real life. On one hand I know schools generally are hotter on behaviour now. However I remember my mixed sixth form experience being pretty horrendous at times and that was before unlimited access to the internet and pornography via smart phones etc.

I'd be interested to hear your opinion on why you feel like this. No skin in the game for me as mixed sex schools are our only option. But I would use a single sex school for dd if it was available.

I think people have been a bit harsh with you on here, OP. I assume you read the recent thread about someone whose daughter really wanted to go to a single sex school. I must admit that it worried me too.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/education/4583067-how-can-i-change-my-daughters-mind-i-do-nor-want-her-to-go-to-single-sex-school

In your situation I would try not to focus too much on the general trends about boys in mixed schools, but instead focus on the specific mixed grammar school in question. Read their latest Ofsted report. Read their behaviour policy. Speak to some parents of current students, if you can. Hopefully you will be reassured by the situation at this particular school - or perhaps it will confirm your fears.

Also, think about why you and your DD originally ranked your preferences in that particular order. What has actually changed in the intervening months, other than the fact that you and she have 'bigged up' the benefits of the girls' school and you've read some alarming information about mixed schools? If you pick the girls' comprehensive school, will your DD look back and consider that her preparation for the 11 plus was a waste of time?

Best of luck with a difficult decision. How long does your DD have to make up her mind?

Regardless of the type of school, it is a more difficult decision to be offered a waiting list place for your first preference school this late in the day.
By now you and your dd have already accepted that she will be going to the girl's school and attended the induction days etc.
Personally I would only move a dd at this stage if there was a significant problem with the allocated school or if your dd really wants to attend the grammar.

Go for the grammar. I used to teach in an all girls state school. There was a lot of bad behaviour from a section of the girls. At the grammar, on the whole, behaviour will likely be good.

I understand your concerns @Yale445 , but please remember that a lot of these things are very much a generalisation. What matters is what is or is not going on at the 2 schools in question. If there have been no reports of incidents at the mixed grammar you are considering, then in your case that is the only thing that is relevant. General scare stories don't tell you anything specific about the school in question.

That's because all comps are exactly the same....

Try grammar school first- if she doesn’t like the environment she can always move to comp one. My daughter also would like to go to single sex school. Whats your daughter prefer?

Forget all the generalisations and consider each school with regard to your DD.

I went to a mixed comp, able students were stretched and no sexual harassment problems.

DD goes to a single sex school (not first choice!) and they deal with bullying and cliquey-ness very strongly.

Look at these specific schools for your DD as an individual

If it's a popular school (or even, there is not an over supply of secondary places in the area, a place in her year group at the girls' school may never be there to go back to. Every area has a 'bottom of the food chain' school, but unless that is it - or even if it is - it is likely that someone from its own waiting list will have been offered and accepted the place that the OP's DD gives up within days.

@Yale445 is there a possibility of a visit to the grammar school in the nest few days, before you make your decision? How recent is the disturbing Ofsted visit / report?

@Yale445
Are you talking about an Ofsted report for the grammar school in question or an Ofsted general report based on stats from all school inspections? There is a big difference. If the behaviour is an issue at the co ed school, and it’s been highlighted in the Ofsted report, I think you will find the school will be making strenuous efforts to eliminate it. So it really wouldn’t worry me. A general report wouldn’t either. It’s the school you are choosing that matters, not all schools.

The big issue here is giving up a grammar school. Most comps don’t do languages well. A few do. Can they do 2 language GCSEs? Many comps don’t have teachers for this leaving linguists disappointed. I really would choose based on academic ability. My DDs did go to girls schools and were happy. But I would never have rejected a grammar in favour of a comp even if it was girls only!