Years of battling with my son

[Engrose92]

Hi all,

I have a 9 year old son, he has no diagnosis but the last 3 years it’s got harder to get him to go to school. I’m firm with him in the mornings and try to get him up out of bed, it’s a huge battle, as I suffer with fibromyalgia too and have a younger daughter to look after as well. I have spoken and be referred to all the things in order to help ease this for us all and make or mornings better, it breaks my heart as all I want is for h I’m to have an education. I am on a waiting list for children mental health services. I constantly been in contact with doctor, the school, social services and attendance officer, has said because of there being concerns for how manny unauthorised absences there have been in very close to being taken to copier, heheh it’s truly the last thing I want. They have well known from the start my daily battles. I was hoping if anyone know anyone else to help with the situation. My son has been violent at times too but recently it’s been angry and erratic outbursts.

Any help would be much appreciated.

I live in rainmaker Kent.

Carly

sorry If you are talking about cahms they aren’t great ….

do you think he could be ASD? I’ve got a pda child - high of anxiety and school is very difficult for him / mornings ….. plus the anger is a way of communicating….

hope the school are making adjustments for him to make it easier?

does he struggle at school? You as the parent can apply for EHCP to give him more support - you don’t need to wait for the school…

how many days you talking about?

good luck it’s very difficult

I'm so sorry to read about your troubles with your son. I agree a little with PP that some of this behaviour might indicate a neurodiverse profile. Perhaps ASD. Maybe he is struggling at school to hold it in and then releases at home with you.

I would peruse an assessment with either an educational psychologist to identify any learning support issues or a child psychologist to investigate for ASD.

The other thing that might be causing the emotional outbursts and unwillingness to go to school is to find out if he is being victimised or bullied by anyone at school. This can materialise in emotional and physical outbursts at home.

I have a son who behaved similarly at home and he eventually had a diagnosis of ADD and Asperger's, it also transpired he was being bullied quite badly as well but we did not know at the time.
You have my sympathy and I truly hope things improve

Is he able to tell you why he doesn't want to go? What have school put in place to make the transition easier? Have you spoken to the SENCO about what could be done at school end to help? For example going a bit earlier or a bit later. What time does he go to bed? Mine with ASD goes very early as he needs a lot of sleep. You need to work out why he doesn't want to go - is he struggling with the transition? Is he being bullied? Does he feel like the work is too hard? Does he find the classroom over whelming?

What support are the school giving?

If it is DS’s additional needs &/or mental health that is preventing his attendance the absences should not be recorded as unauthorised.

If you haven’t already you should apply for an EHCNA.

If DS can’t attend school full time the LA should be making alternative arrangements. This should begin when it becomes clear the pupil will miss 15 days, the days don’t have to be consecutive.