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Original poster

A house or a independent school for a child

49 replies

sindysindysindy · 27/03/2022 02:55

Hello,
I know it is a bit interesting topic but couldn't explain the situation better then that:)
We live in London... my twins took 11+ assesment this year and they both had offer from one independent senior school . We visited the school and we loved it! -facilities, environment and the GCSE/A level grades are really good. I also checked the ISI report of school it is excelent.
Normally school fee is 17k per a child in a year. But my children got some scholaships so it will be about 15500k each for a year, so in total 31k for both. But unfortunately and husbands salary do not afford these fees. Our both salary is about 52k per annum. We do have mortgage to pay (£1900), 2 cars (we need it for work), holidays, clubs expenses etc...My children is so sporty, one of them plays tennis since age of 5 another loves swimming so I dont want to make them give up from these clubs.
So if we decide sent our children to this school we need to sell our house which is in outer London. Unfortunately renting is not possible as we can only rent it for around £500 a month and that will not help to afford the fees anyway. We can not apply for the bursary as well because we have that house without a mortgage (dept).
Unluckly our local state secondary schools not outstanding. They have good ofsted reports. And to be honest when i visited them i didnt like the environment and students behaviours. I know bright kids can do well anywhere but environment has a vital role on it. Plus facilities, after school clubs options are amazing in private school. I also liked the behaviours of the current students in open day when we visited private school.
Do you think it is worth to sell the house for the private education or leave the house and focus on state then in future kids can sell that house to pay their mortgage deposits or other expenses.
WWYD?

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 27/03/2022 03:05

I.wouldnt sell my house. When you say you would only get £500 for it in rent, do you mean per week? How much could you sell it for?

If your dc are bright and motivated, then they should be fine in the local school.

Clymene · 27/03/2022 03:23

I think you'd be insane to put your family's financial security at risk for school fees.

On a related note, these threads come up all the time on here and I don't understand why people take their children to look round lovely schools they can't afford. It's like taking your horse-mad kid to see a lovely pony for sale and then telling them that sorry, that was just out of interest to see if they wanted it because a pony is out of budget.

Of course private selective schools are going to be lovely and get fabulous gcse results. They don't admit the children who won't get great results and state schools are woefully underfunded. But bright NT children with engaged parents really will do well anywhere.

MrsEricBana · 27/03/2022 03:31

I am not anti private schools but the bare facts are it is not within your budget to send them currently. Definitely don't sell your home. Choose the best state school you can, support your children from home and via outside activities/tutor if needed.

AlexaShutUp · 27/03/2022 03:31

Goodness, keep the house. You would be insane to risk it for a private education when your kids are obviously bright enough to do well wherever they go.

MarianosOnHisWay · 27/03/2022 03:34

You say you have a mortgage of £1900, then say you can’t apply for a bursary because you have a house without a mortgage?

HomeHomeInTheRange · 27/03/2022 03:35

You would be proper bonkers to sell your house.

Apart from anything else private school fees go up a lot every year. There are significant extras to pay for. Two children wanting to keep up with the lifestyle of their school friends.

Come on OP! Although the ratio is skewed in favour of private school students the majority of Oxbridge students are from state schools, ditto at too Unis like Imperial.

Your children will have support from you, a stable supportive environment.

But selling your family home from under them…. No.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 27/03/2022 03:39

Could you just clarify: are you talking about selling the house you live in?

maeveiscurious · 27/03/2022 05:20

Just move to an area with decent state schools

tothemoonandbackbuses · 27/03/2022 05:24

As pp said move to an area with better schools

PearPickingPorky · 27/03/2022 05:32

Do you/ can you work? Or is 52k your joint income?

As it stands, you just can't afford it.

NashvilleQueen · 27/03/2022 05:43

I'm not sure I follow everything fully but if you're saying that your joint household income is £52k pa (presumably before tax?) and the fees are £31k then you can't afford it. I'm not sure how you can afford a mortgage of £1900 plus your other outgoings tbh but that's the bit I'm confused by.

Selling your home to pay for fees is a very bad idea.

Also don't forget that the fees are the bare minimum. There's everything else on top to 'keep up' with peers.

LollyLol · 27/03/2022 05:52

You'd be mad to sell your house. You simply can’t afford the fed full stop,

Wallywobbles · 27/03/2022 06:00

31k is just the basic fees. Extras will be more. You cannot afford it.

I'm stunned that one of you thinks this is a good plan, much less 2 of you.

pompomseverywhere · 27/03/2022 06:00

What a bonkers post. You've had a glimpse at a life you can't afford. Get over that and focus on supporting your children in a state school. They will be fine like the rest of us proles.

yikesanotherbooboo · 27/03/2022 07:45

I think it is perfectly fine to sacrifice foreign holidays, new cars, separate bedrooms for children etc for education but absolutely not to sacrifice your family's security.This isn't a good plan. Your are in the lucky position that your DC are talented and you and they are motivated. The state school will work and any spare money you have can be used for enrichment or tutoring if it turns out to be needed.

TheBigDilemma · 27/03/2022 07:56

We all want the best for our kids but sometimes you need to be realistic and live within your means.

You do not have enough money to support your kids in private school in the long run or to help them to integrate well within the school to meet with more affluent kids. We went to private school and you cannot imagine the constant bullying dripping every day for years going from not having the right clothes to not going on the right holidays. My younger sister did manage much better and integrated well, partly due to my mother overspending on her to keep up with the Joneses, but it was blatantly clear she was embarrassed of her parents and the fact we didn’t have as much money.

RicStar · 27/03/2022 07:57

I think the house you are thinking of selling is a second home? Maybe. I cant imagine anywhere in outer London though where you would only get £500 per month rent for even a tiny flat. Either way it doesn't sound like you can afford private school.

Roselilly36 · 27/03/2022 07:59

@maeveiscurious

Just move to an area with decent state schools
This, you can’t afford the private school, so this would be a sensible option.
GrazingSheep · 27/03/2022 08:01

You say you have a mortgage of £1,900.
You say you don’t qualify for a bursary because you don’t have a mortgage.
Which is true?

Cisforcamel · 27/03/2022 08:07

I’m not convinced this is a genuine post…..but NO. I’ve met a number of families who rent and send their kids to private schools and it just blows my mind. I have DC at private schools and it is lovely…..but there is no way they’d be there if the choice was school or home ownership. Motivated kids will do well anywhere.

Ilovechoc12 · 27/03/2022 08:11

Why did you even visit the schools?!?!?

Unless you get a bursary (not sure how) there is no way.

My kids are at private schools and this next term - kids skiing, kids adventures away and that’s only for 3 of them (an extra ~£3k+ which all are expected / want to go on.

Plus uniform £500 each and then all the clubs on top, plus music lessons each term - nothing is free.

Don’t do it x

NoSquirrels · 27/03/2022 08:16

  1. £52,000 combined salary is too low for even one child at private school, let alone two children so you will definitely need to have a lot of capital so selling an asset would be necessary

  2. do you have two houses - one to sell (mortgage free), one to live in (mortgaged)?

Ilovechoc12 · 27/03/2022 08:20

Which school is it? Did you sign the contract?

You are soon going to get stung for next terms fees if you don’t cancel this week! Of around £16k if you don’t cancel …..

Did you pay the deposit to accept both places?

LynetteScavo · 27/03/2022 08:34

I'm not going convinced this post is real - why would you only get £500pm for renting out your house?

Why are you up in the middle of the night thinking about this? Why did you even let them sit the exam? You clearly can't afford the school fees. It's a bit late to start thinking about selling the house now- fees will be due long before it's sold and you've found somewhere to rent.

JurassicPerks · 27/03/2022 08:52

How is a house with mortgage repayments of nearly 2k a month only worth £500 in rent?