Relocating to Oxford - School in Abingdon - London Commute - where to live?

[ExpatsDKUSA]

My family is relocating to Oxford from San Francisco this summer. My husband is Danish, I'm American. We've lived in the UK before, but not with kids - this time bringing our (soon to be) 4 and 2yo boys.

We started with the school search first and landed on a friendly school in North Abingdon that can take both boys and has a friendly, progressive vibe and strong community feel.

I spent this weekend flying around in a rental car trying to get a sense of neighborhoods and surrounding areas. I really enjoy North Oxford, but can't tell if it's absolute insanity to go from Summertown/Wolvercote areas to North Abingdon every day. Our nightmare would be a 40 minute commute each way, twice a day.

Is this commute just awful? How often is the A34 just completely locked up? Google Maps says it's anywhere from 18-40 minutes commute...20-30 mins feels doable, but 40? No.

If it is awful, where else would you suggest a mostly city-loving younger couple to look? We'll be working from home for the foreseeable future, but will be heading into London 1-2 days a week each at some point, so we need to be in touch of the rail.

We'll have to concede on a number of items I'm sure, but some other preferences include a little space (garden), a house vs. flat, some walkable amenities closeby (e.g., corner shop, park/playground, cafe, etc.) and the ability to take the boys out for an after dinner walk/bike ride.

All guidance/tips appreciated!

Yep the commute will be 40 mins, certainlyin the morning. A34 is often problematic.

Going round the Oxford ring road 4 times a day would be absolute insanity. Dont do it to yourselves.

If working mainly from home, why not base yourselves near school in Abington. Or look at schools round N Oxford if that's where you want to be?

Didcot Parkway would also be a route into London if you were already South of the city.

I think even 40 minutes could be optimistic tbh. If you are set on a school in Abingdon, then why not try there?

And from Abingdon its a short drive to Didcot for super frequent and fast trains to London

If you like a city then you will struggle with Abingdon!! Nice place but it's small to me. Having said that it is the biggest town in the area

Maybe Reading? More city like and closer to London.

Christ no, don’t do that to yourself. The A34 is so hit and miss, it could go in a flash or it could take an hour. East Oxford would be a better bet if you want to live in Oxford. Have a look at the Iffley/Iffley Fields area. You can avoid the dreaded A34 if necessary and still get to Abingdon quite quickly, and it’s easy to get a bus/cycle to the station or access the Oxford Tube to get to London.

Iffley is a great call.

Radley? I would rather live in Abingdon myself but it might suit you because of the station.

Are you thinking state schools? Cherwell is good. Are you loaded? North Oxford is as expensive as it gets and quite stuffy.

It won’t just be school drop off and collection - it will be play dates and birthday parties as all their friends will live in North Abingdon near the school.

Either live in North Abingdon near the school, or look for a school near where you want to live in Oxford.

I suggest renting for a while to get a feel for places and the commute.

I agree with other posters about the impracticality of going backwards and forwards from Oxford to Abingdon four times every day, plus if your kids make friends at school won’t they also be in Abingdon? It will be harder to be part of the school community if you are not based locally. Have you looked at state or private schools in Oxford if you want to live in the city? Most primary age children in the UK attend schools that are local to them, and I can think of several that would meet your criteria in Oxford or if you want to send them to private school there are lots of options in Oxford that I’m sure posters here could advise on.

It must be a private school as she won't get a state school place in Abingdon living in Oxford! If it's the Manor then they have lots of good mini bus routes and id start with that. Absolutely no way would I commute 40 minutes each way. You will spend 3 hours a day in the car! If your little one does half days at nursery it will be even more. I would aim to be within 15 min drive of school. You'll just end up moving closer otherwise.

Live south of Abingdon, didcot is good for London. Or look for a different school. If you are city loving I would not have picked Oxford anyway, it's nice but kind of twee

Thanks all, it is as I feared then .

Abingdon seems absolutely fine - seems a family oriented and a friendly place which I think is on the right track.

Our big issue at the moment is availability of lettings. There is....really nothing available in Abingdon, and that hasn't changed in the 2-3 months I've been browsing just for fun.

I am wont to throw our school research aside to pursue schools in Oxford, but I'm curious what others and/or @Churchillian would recommend in Oxford? We would entertain either state or independent, but given we need a house first to navigate state schools, and we prefer smaller class sizes for early years, we opted for independent at the start.

Our kids are so young, there's not much to say on their preferences/sports, etc., but a few things we know for sure:

• We were not raised in, and so have no real affinity towards the traditional British prep school. It's not a turn off, it's just unfamiliar and not an important consideration to us in this process (see: bucolic rolling hills, feeders to top boarding schools, etc.).
• We want kind, well rounded kids who can work their way through the world with confidence. Options are good (in sports, arts, tech, etc.).
• We're a very international family, so a bonus if we can find that in a community.
• We place a huge value on education, but we are not into any academic hot houses especially in the early years. In fact, I'd say this is probably where our Northern California time rubbed off quite a bit . I'd much prefer to focus on emotional/social development with the very tiny humans. Give my kids mud and sticks, a challenge, and feed them when they're hungry.
• We would love to avoid two dropoffs and pickups, so ideally the school has a nursery program or is nearby other nurseries

For the reasons above, we did not think SF and Dragon were a good fit (at this time).

Because it matters for the discussion, I'm familiar with the cost of various schools in the area and we wouldn't rule any out on that basis.

Abingdon Prep (actually in frilford), New College, St. Hughs, The Manor would all be ones on the list to check out. There is a Montessori in north oxford that goes to 16 I think? That might suit. State school class size are 30 here and it's formal in yr 1 which would be American kindergarten. If you can afford most American expats are far happier in the private system.

The Montessori school is set just outside North Oxford in the countryside and has a nursery. It’s very much sticks and mud and has lots of open space - www.oxfordmontessori.co.uk. My kids have been to holiday club there occasionally and they loved it.

State schools will have larger class sizes and are not play based from 5, but It would be difficult to get a place without having an address first anyway - (schools will take late applications if they have room). Some schools like East Oxford primary also have a nursery or will take children in early years from 3. Oxford is quite international - there are over 20 different languages spoken by the kids in my daughter’s state school class so I don’t think that would be an issue in terms of fitting in. Abingdon is less so in my experience, though a perfectly nice market town. Good luck in finding somewhere to live - house rentals go very quickly here.

Oxford is very international. (In one of my ds’ class, out of 16 kids only 7 are from British families, in his brothers class it is about 1/3 of the class - this is typical of local private schools)
Oxford is a great place to live.
Downside is it is very hard to get spaces in the ‘good’ state schools unless your housing budget is IMMENSE and you are lucky.

Academic hot houses more relevant for secondary school (11yrs+)

Within the city if you are looking at private schools there aren’t many options until age 7 (yr3) and as you note, some are very traditional preps. I would look at New College and Rye st Anthony (now co Ed)

Outside the city - Manor, maybe chandlings (don’t know it but colleagues have been happy with it)
Abingdon has Our Lady’s which is catholic but I have two friends, neither family is religious, who have kids there and have been very happy with it and report the catholic elements are not prominent within school life.

There are multiple excellent nurseries/ preschools around the city, I would not be overly worried about finding one site and maybe look for a school and a nursery you like.

Are you willing to share your housing budget?

For private I would look closely at Chandlings as friends have reported the kind of vibe you are looking for. I would also look at living in Botley or Cumnor and going for either of the local primaries - Botley in particular has lots of outdoor space and at least recently it had a brilliant preschool. Botley is easy for city access and although more built up now it still has a nice ramshackle feel. You're then comfortably in catchment in secondaries for either Matthew Arnold or Bartholomew, both of which are co-ed comps, or you could also try for Marlborough which is very similar but would be a bit of a commute. If it turns out you like Marlborough, and you have the money, look at Wolvercote?

Theoretically you can apply for any secondary in Oxford but in reality people tend to be slotted into the catchment school with a fair bit of changing around for sixth form.

We used to let a property in Abingdon through Finders Keepers - don’t think they’re on Rightmove so might be worth contacting them and getting onto a mailing list.

Thank you, all.

@PermanentTemporary Would Botley or Wolvercote be a risky haul to North Abingdon also? It seemed the closer you get to an entrance to the A34, the better it was, but reading up the thread it does seem like most of the larger delays are on the A34 vs. getting out of the city itself.

Housing budget is around £4,000. Plenty coming on in Oxford at that price point, just not finding a ton yet in Abingdon, Iffley, Kennington, Cumnor, etc. which are largely more affordable, just not a big letting market. I'm hoping that changes as the weather warms.

We'll be renting initially so we can scope out locations, commutes, etc. and ensure we're happy where we are before we think about buying.

As for schools, we're currently sorted at The Manor and feeling good about the decision at least for the first year/few years while we settle in, though it's helpful to see what other areas/schools are recommended in case we want to relocate locally or consider other schools down the road. We just didn't realize how challenging it might be to get in/out of that area twice a day.

Botley and Cumnor at least offer an alternative route via the a420. I've never done that commute so I would have a look at journey times on Google between 8 and 9. There's a 4 bed house to rent on cumnor Hill which

Cumnor hill would be a much better choice to rent. Honestly that will be an awful commute. I really wouldn't do it. But also the manor is one of the hot house preps. It's definitely not sticks and mud. It has very little for grounds and facilities and lacks things like a pool or a proper forest school. You might want to take a look at St Hugh's if that's really your priority.

Oxford to Abingdon in the morning is better than the other way round (which is brutal) but Abingdon to Oxford after drop off will be gridlock once every week or two. For The Manor and commute to Oxford look at Sutton Courtenay, Steventon, Culham - Drayton maybe - lovely villages and a 15 minute commute most days although can still hit traffic on the Drayton road once a month that will make it 45 minutes. To be clear - Manor is not a hot house by London/international standards - not at all - lots of outdoors play and sport etc

Sorry forma the Manor and commute to London that should say

Don't forget about the international school in Culham too - might meet your criteria.

If you are considering state school at any point you generally (unless you fit a more 'needy' criteria) need to be living in the catchment area. Which a 20-60 minute drive is certainly not.

You're going to have to choose the area you love and possibly compromise on the school, or the school you like and compromise on location.

40+ minutes each way twice a day on the a34 is insane tbh. 2h20mins a day just to get the kids to school? That's a HUGE chunk of time out of your day, with two journeys where you're going to be perpetually worried about making it to school on time. Madness