Private or state with a tutor.

[Lavender2021]

I'm currently stuck with what to do with my child and school.
Do we go down the private route from 3 years old but have limited funds for anything else.
Or
State school from 4 with the idea to add a tutor to fill the gaps if necessary. More options for trips, days out and holidays

Are you just having the one? And do you need to make up your mind at 3?

We’re going with the second option but if either of them has a particular love/aptitude for a sport or subject that isn’t catered for at state when they’re older then we’d consider private. But I’d rather spend that money on savings for when they’re older and experiences when they’re young.

We love our DDs primary school. Most of the kids will go on to the local secondary at 11 but some move to private then and some move to private at 7.

I’ve gone for outstanding state and enrichment but the truth is most of the enrichment comes from my own funds and my own abilities although we are forging ahead with other stuff. It seems to be working well. Although it has been a battle in state to get eldest recognised as gifted - they have cut new ground and we are using our own opportunities that we have created through connections

Only plan for one child.
Getting into the school is easiest at 3 as you will definitely get a space in reception the following year.

If you think its effects your lifestyle wait until 7+ or 11+ for private... - you can save money until that time. If she/he is bright + with good tutor he/she will have place in one of the independent schools for year 3 or year 11.

Year 7*

It depends on the quality of your state schools but assuming they are good, that’s probably your best option. It sounds like the fees would be a struggle and that’s almost never worth it.

Why have a tutor on top of school? Do you not want your child to have time for play and other interests?

@Coyoacan

Why have a tutor on top of school? Do you not want your child to have time for play and other interests?

Depends on your child - eldest needs it. Wants it. And if my child was struggling with Spanish - I’d get a tutor

I'd do state for early years and perhaps get a tutor later to prepare for entrance to state at secondary level.

That's what we're doing.

@Coyoacan we wouldn't have a tutor every day. Private school day would be much longer day as I would have to work later. Plenty of time for bikes and park visits.

All I can say is my boy just done the 11 plus - I’d say 80 % of kids were still tutored on top of an independent school - so the vast majority of his class ! (my boy absolutely refused but I would of got him one) ….
If cash is an issue don’t do private not worth the stress!

I do think you get better results out of children who are not pressured too early in life.

Unless the state primary schools near you are awful I would send to state primary and maybe consider private for secondary if the state comprehensives are awful. We did state for both, but looked at private for secondary. In the end DD went to a good state comprehensive and only needed a tutor for GCSE maths to achieve an A*.

Some of the responses are obviously from parents in grammar school areas (we don't have grammar schools in our county, so no 11+)

Depends on the schools in question. But private schools generally offer far more than academics. It isn’t just about supplementing the academics with a tutor for state. Private offers breadth of learning, teaches pupils independence of thought, ability to learn one’s own learning styles, more individual attention with smaller class sizes, extracurricular like sports, drama and art, facilities tend to be better. I could go on

Personally I would choose state at first and save for potentially switching at 11 when the differences are more marked. You can always apply earlier if you aren't happy

if you're budget constrained, the years which imo deliver the most bang for your private school buck (in purely academic terms, all years are roughly equal in terms of the sports & other stuff etc) are the two or so years just before the two main entry points to the next really big stage of education, i.e.

(a) early/mid year 4 through early/mid year 6 - private schools are really ramping up prep for 11+ type exams, whereas state schools are plodding along towards SATs or whatever;

(b) sixth form - private schools are streets ahead in terms of aiming for top grades, helping with university applications etc, so much so that it more than compensates for the slight diminishment you sometimes get in terms of their class size advantage (since some state schools do end up with quite small classes for some A levels).

reception year is the year that imo counts for the least, if you're feeling the pinch then absolutely don't bother with private. instead, look to switch in at 7/8, 11, or 16.

@puffyisgood I disagree. Reception is so so important. The early years are so important for instil a love for learning, develop curiosity in a child and proper learning through play- skills which underpin a child’s development throughout their life. Very rarely do state schools have the provision to provide excellent early years care as it requires far more than 1 teacher and a TA for a class.
I’ve had DC in state and prep for reception and the difference is so stark

[quote Fretfulmum]@puffyisgood I disagree. Reception is so so important. The early years are so important for instil a love for learning, develop curiosity in a child and proper learning through play- skills which underpin a child’s development throughout their life. Very rarely do state schools have the provision to provide excellent early years care as it requires far more than 1 teacher and a TA for a class.
I’ve had DC in state and prep for reception and the difference is so stark[/quote]
I wasn't saying that reception is positively unimportant, far from it.

But if you were, say, budget constrained to an extent that you could only pay five years' worth of school fees out of a possible 14 [OP hasn't quantified her constraint as precisely as this but has fairly strongly signalled that 14 years' worth of fees isn't affordable], would you honestly pick reception through year 4 inclusive as your five years, & then state thereafter? Surely not. That's all I was getting at.

Depends on the school options and what you want for your child. We switched at 7+ but in part driven by other thing we weren't happy with at the school (nothing to do with academics). Looking back, we could have saved the money and stayed until 11+ and used a tutor as the State school was very good. However, we don't regret it as the private school we went for offers so much more than academics. Academically, a bright child will do well anywhere but it's the enrichment and extra curricular stuff that has seen my child thrive.

Other child also switched. Academically, there's little difference so there are many days when I wonder if it's worth it. However, the much smaller class size and sports offering is where we feel our child has benefited in terms of focus and confidence.

We can afford the fees but it means we don't have holidays abroad, ski trips, drive an old car and our house is the only one that isn't extended! Whilst originally we wanted to stay in State until 11+, we were finding it hard to bridge the gap as we both work full time. So extra curricular was impossible if the kids were in after school club until 6pm and we didn't want to spend precious family weekends tutoring. Friends of ours who stayed usually have a SAHM so it was much easier for them to go to clubs after school and still be home and fed before I'd even collected the kids after work.

Having done both, I'd say save the money until 11+ unless there's other reasons for moving earlier.

If state, then it’s up to you to be around for all the extra curricular stuff. So easier is youre a sahm or part time. If you’re full time, then private does all that. It’s all about facilities and ease.

However, as many said, there’s no rush. Try state and you can move later.

Also, think about it this way - if you’re committed to getting your child ahead, the £30k per year put into savings instead for over a 15 year period would be worth we’ll over £500k. Even saving half this and having all the extras like holidays and clubs and tutors would be just as good to help them ‘get ahead’ in life as private school. The teachers are the same.

Save the cash now. Make it easier on yourself later, whether you use it to invest or to pay future school fees.

@Snorkello

If state, then it’s up to you to be around for all the extra curricular stuff. So easier is youre a sahm or part time. If you’re full time, then private does all that. It’s all about facilities and ease.

However, as many said, there’s no rush. Try state and you can move later.

Also, think about it this way - if you’re committed to getting your child ahead, the £30k per year put into savings instead for over a 15 year period would be worth we’ll over £500k. Even saving half this and having all the extras like holidays and clubs and tutors would be just as good to help them ‘get ahead’ in life as private school. The teachers are the same.

Save the cash now. Make it easier on yourself later, whether you use it to invest or to pay future school fees.

I totally agree with you except one is extremely wealthy and private school won't be a sacrifice for the family.