Moving DD from private to state school

[Charl1e36]

My DD is in yr 8 and has been in private school since she was 7 yrs old. We moved her older sister as the local school didn’t suit her and thought we should do the same for my youngest. She had a few ups and downs in junior school but eventually settled. Now she is very unhappy as she is being bullied. She was part of the group but got poorly in October and since then has been bullied both in and out of school by her classmates. We encouraged her to find new friends and she has a few but they are not in her class. We informed the school who spoke to the girls involved and now they are just talking about her behind her back. She is desperate to move to the local state school where she has friends and they have 1 place that she could have but she would need to move now. Problem is my husband thinks she should wait to see if it improves as in yr 9 the class will change. I don’t know what to do for the best! I hate seeing her unhappy but also don’t want to make the wrong decision. Anyone have any advice?!

I would move her. I wouldn't want to be paying for my child to be bullied and miserable.

Its not relevant as to whether its a fee paying school or not, moving a child to be happy at school is the important part.

It's a difficult problem. For everyone saying 'just move her', you are making the assumption that she will be happy and will thrive at the state school. Remember there is a chance she won't.

I assume there will be a new intake in year 9 and I know the dynamic changes then, additionally the children mature. However only you and your DD know how bad this is and how much it is affecting her. If you move her you need to make sure she understands that once moved she can't go back!

Move her. Wouldn't think twice about it, it's what she wants. Why have her suffer any longer than necessary.

@Ncwinc

How would she describe her time in junior school?

She was very happy at junior school, even when she had a few ups and downs there, she still wanted to go everyday. At this school she is constantly asking me if she can stay at home! I know we’ll have to pay the fees and it pains me as we really scrimp and save to send her there but I’m also well aware that it is affecting her health so when I look at it from that point of view, money seems irrelevant.

So you are paying a school who are not effective at stamping out your dd being bullied. Crazy. Move your dd, listen to what she is asking you to do. You may not be aware but every year there are children who self harm or even kill themselves due to being bullied.

Give notice now which might wake the private school up. Ask if your DC can have a trial couple of days at the proposed new state school.

Unfortunately bullying can follow from school to school thanks to social media.

even when she had a few ups and downs there, she still wanted to go everyday. At this school she is constantly asking me if she can stay at home’

So she’s not prone to being negative or exaggerating problems. I think you need to listen to her. If you are scrimping and saving to send her there and she’s really unhappy then it’s a no-brainier.

You can try to talk to the school about the fees, as you’re moving her over their failure to deal with the bullying effectively, but you’re going to end up paying. Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy - you’ll pay for a term you don’t use but you won’t have to pay for 9 future terms if she moves to a state school.