How to cope with guilt Rd school entry...

[resipsa]

This is going to sound dramatic but we found out yesterday that DD1 had not been offered a place at her (and our) preferred independent. I feel so guilty as if our bad judgment has adversely affected her schooling to age 18. It was a post-interview outcome. On the date of the interview, she had Covid and performed very poorly in the remote session. I feel so guilty that I did not re-arrange for another date but she said she felt OK and we were also worried that we might become infected so wouldn't be able to make a later date either given the narrow window for interviews. She was definitely not OK on the day. Please reassure me that I haven't ruined her life...

PS Title should read 'about' not Rd!

In the nicest possible way you need to get a grip. You have not ruined her life. It sounds like you are engaged parents and this will affect her success far more than her school, especially if you are looking at independents. What this may do is teach her resilience in that I'm sure she will go on to enjoy and do well wherever she goes, and will learn that it's not the end of the world if you have to resort to plan B. Can I suggest gently that this may also be a good lesson for you, I know you're feeling disappointed and a little guilty right now, but if you have other good schooling options, she will be fine. Take a deep breath :-)

Thank you for not being too harsh! I know that I sound ridiculous and it will all be fine but can't help the guilt. And you are right, I don't do 'failing' very well!

For her sake (and yours) you need to move away from the guilt. Do you have a confirmed school place that you are happy with (not sure what age entry?) If so start bigging up that school, how excited you are that she gets to go there, and make sure you're all moving forward with a really positive mindset. Guilt and regret are pointless emotions. You can't change the past. Deal with the present and look towards the future positively. Good luck!

It's for Yr 7. All her friends are going to the above average state secondary which is a 5 min walk away. I sound deranged.

@resipsa

It's for Yr 7. All her friends are going to the above average state secondary which is a 5 min walk away. I sound deranged.

Yes you do but I think we have all been guilty of it at some stage. Just think of all the money you will save (assuming she has a place at the State Secondary)

I think this process can easily make people deranged :-) Just remember that a well supported, relatively academic child is likely to do well in most schools. How does she feel about going to the state school (also there's a lot to be said for a 5min commute!)

@Hoppinggreen DH and I might have had that chat already

@MillicentMargaretAmanda
Yes, she is going there. She's delighted! Already planning who to meet en route and what to get by way of matching uniform. Makes me realise that we probably ploughed on with the application elsewhere for no good reason!

[quote resipsa]@Hoppinggreen DH and I might have had that chat already [/quote]
I call my son (at Private school) my “Tesla”