July born boy not coping well with start of Reception

[Bristolianmum]

My son started reception class in September; he is the youngest boy in his year and is struggling.
His behaviour seems to be going downhill - lots more tantrums and tears at home and at school. He tells me of nightmares where all his classmates can fly and he can't, and is constantly saying he hates being the littlest!
I would love to hear from you if you have had a similar experience, and learn how you helped your sons.

bristolian they are so young to start aren't they. My DS1 is June b/day and was a january starter thank goodness (they've done away with that round here now).
All you can do i think is be really supportive of him, talk about all the positve things at school, how his teacher is his friend like mummy and daddy, help with his reading books or whatever he has (i'm sure you do).
Does he have any particular issues with being so young? (eg language not so good or toilet training not qwuite there? - don't mean to be rude but that sort of thing can cause a problem with some esp boys...)
Also how about talkingto his class teacher? I'm sure she has seen it before and can help.
good luck

is there anyway you can let him go part time ? My DS1 is July as well - will be starting next year - the headteacher of the school was very keen on part-time if needed, with us making the choice of when he was ready to go for longer days.

HI Bristloian mum, my son was 4 on july 26th and is the youngest in his class. His school decided on 1 in take in september and my ds went full time and for the first few weeks he was a nightmare! His behaviour was a concern both in and out of school and the teacher did discuss him going part time BUT my dh and i both felt this wouldnt help ds at all. We started a pasta pot for ds and now when he is good at school and home he gets a piece of pasta in his pot. This has worked for my ds and now he has been ok at schol for 8 days in a row. Also we have ensured that the teacher and us are dealing with the behaviour the same and we now BOTH ignore bad and praise good.

Talk to the teacher and try to see if some thing is triggering it all. Teacher thought my ds was tired but dh and i knew he couldnt be cos he got 12 hr a night slepp, we found that by just spending 30 mins together with ds every night reading or doing homeowrk he has improved at school. Not sure if this will help but goodluck.

My dd3 is May born and found it hard to settle at nursery, particularly during this term when there was lots of preparation for the Nativity play which meant interruptions to the normal routine.

Why not take your little boy part-time - say just mornings till the end of term. If he's stressed at school it won't be helping him learn, so hopefully the school should be sympathetic. If the school isn't helpful, remind them that it is meant to be a partnership between home and school and from your side of the partnership you think this could be a good way forward. Follow this up by saying if he can't go part-time you could just withdraw him until the start of summer term - ie the term in which he becomes 5 - this being the legal requirement. Good luck.

Thank you very much lockets, clary, throckenholt and bonkerz for replying; this is the first time I have used this website and hearing that other people's sons are having similar experiences is a great relief!

I will certainly talk to my son's teacher in more depth; and I love the pasta pot idea.

One policy the school has is to reward good behaviour, but also to highlight bad behaviour with sad faces on the board - this really upsets my son - is this normal policy? I've never heard of it at such a young age.

There was another thread a while back which mentioned the sad face issue

they have that at my ds school. There is a board with a happy face and a sad face, all names start on happy face and if silly get moved to sad face! My ds thought it was great his name got moved cos he got more attention! the teacher now IGNORES him when hes silly and doesnt move his name unless he does something physical or rude! the problem is that in my ds class he is youngest and oldest is already 5 and at this age its a real difference! My ds is still at the sulking and blowing raspberrys phase when he has been told off and this is because of his age! By having the same rules about dealing with his behaviour at home and school we seem to have cracked it!

I just went to check out the school we want Lottie to go to when she reaches 5. The teacher explained that at his scholl the children who were born later in the year, like your son, only do mornings, whereas the children born in Sept, Oct, Nov etc do the full day. I thought this was a great idea. Perhaps if you were to suggest this to your son's school. If they want to phone the school I am speaking of and ask them how they have found this then let me know and I',, give you detsils but the name of school is St John Fisher Catholic school in Pinner, Middx

The school my daughter goes to also does this (has one intake but the younger ones just do mornings for the first term). I think it is a great system as they all get a full year in Reception and are taught to read, for example, at the same time, yet it means the younger ones get a gentle transition from nursery to school. My daughter's school is also called St John Fisher! In my area it is called an "Other Fours Scheme" and I believe it is more common in village schools than in big towns.

that is how they used to do the intakes at my catchment area school. Older children whos 5 bday before jan start in sept and younger ones go part time till jan and full time from then but they changed it last year!!! Only ONE INTAKE NOW!

You can insist they only do part time - there is no legal requirement for fulltime until they are 5.

The headmistress we talked to said the most important thing is that they enjoy school and want to go there. If they are tired, or struggling to keep up they won't be enjoying it - and you really don't want to reinforce that feeling in their first year.

I would definitely talk to the teacher and the head, and see if you can all work out a compromise that suits your son. Bear in mind that it will need reviewing as he gets older.