Secondary, primary, what's more important?

[FazedNConfused]

Name change as it might be outing.
AIBU to ask how the hell do you make adult decisions? DH and I are facing making some big decisions regarding our house and DD's school choice. Deadline for application is on Saturday and we're still not sure!

Current situation:3 bed semi, 2 kids with 4 years age gap, so not sure if they can share when the older one goes toschool as baby might still be disruptive at night. Third bedroom is a box room. DH is WFH most of the week so would need to extend the house for his office, but there is sufficient garden space. Low mortgage as house was doer upper. Quiet area near amenities. Situated in the 'golden zone' between two good secondary schools, so would give DD an option when time comes to it. Not many better housing options here though.

Catchmentprimary school is average results academy, Good Ofsted but previously RI. Large 3 form entry with quite high deprivation but great head teacher and staff and some extra curricular activities- DD1 reasonably shy but not awfully so.

Do we stay in this house or do we try to move to an area with better houses? DH just landed a much better job so we could afford a nice 4 bed detached house, but we're looking at catchment for one reasonably good secondary school but with fewer A level choices than she could go to now.
Primary school we stand a chance of getting her into as we're just out of catchment, consistently good ofsted 2 form entry with some extra curriculars. I missed the open days and when I came to visit I talked to reception teacher, never got to see the head teacher so no idea what she's like!

I visited both primary schools and talked to parents, honestly they're both nice. Slightly worried about our current catchment'sschool size, it's also been closed down more due to more covid cases.
Leaning towards trying to get DD into the school 2 and moving, but will I regret restricting her secondary options? Or will we regret not going for a bigger house now? Is there anything we're missing as I honestly don't know what we should do. Sorry for the wall of text!

I wouldn't worry about taking secondary school options into account for a current pre-school child. Things can and will change. The choice of A Levels currently available is particularly irrelevant - your child might not do A Levels, they might choose to go somewhere else, A Levels might have changed out of all recognition by the time your child gets there.

In your position I'd go for better house and good primary school. I'm assuming you're not applying for this year as it's already really too late to move? So you have more chances to view the school before making a decision.

It is for the September 22 admission!
Thing is, we'd likely get DD into either of the schools, both our current catchment and the one we're on the edge of the catchment area, although this one is not 100%.

I think I keep worrying about it as deep down I prefer our catchment school despite it being worse on paper (history of worse ofsted, more deprived). I visited both schools already. At the same time I like the houses near the school 2.
I guess you're right and I shouldn't worry about secondary schools yet. Apparently the both are very similar.

So you'll have to apply using your current address, regardless of whether you subsequently choose to move. In that case you surely also have the option of sending her to school 2 for primary but not moving? Or equally getting her into your current catchment school (that you say you prefer) and then moving to a bigger house at some point in the future? Maybe when you see how secondary schools are looking?

There is nothing to lose from you putting school 2 as your first choice and school 1 as your second; allocations are done on how you meet criteria, and there is no weighting given to order of preference unless you qualify for a place in both schools. You would be allocated a place based on your current address.

I really wouldn't worry about A level choices yet! All sorts of things are likely to have changed in the next 12 years...

Thanks all. You're probably right, I'll just see if we can get her into school 2. If not school 1 felt very welcoming too. I guess I'm overthinking it re: secondary schools!

To be honest I think you're thinking too far ahead. You're in a 3 bed house and I'm the catchment of 2 good primary schools. That sounds great! Put your fave school first and the other second and don't move yet. They can share a room or one can go into the box room. Dh can work from the dining table or a fold out desk upstairs.

Sounds the same as here, Dd in the bigger bedroom, ds in a box room that he might well outgrow but he's only 4 so no worry yet. I work from home at a desk in the living room. Dh is currently working from a desk that folds out of Dd's cabin bed. We were weighing up moving recently but decided we're fine here for primary, so we're going to wait and see what secondary might be the best fit when we get to that stage. Meanwhile we can make the most of a lower mortgage.

I agree with the comments that say OP is thinking quite far ahead.

We bought our current house, with at the time a single 1 year old child, in some part due to its proximity to what we then saw as a fairly desirable state primary school. But in-between our moving in & his turning 4, that primary had received a bad Ofsted and a new free school that was marginally closer had opened up - we ended up sending the kids there. This is a fairly extreme example and a very well established (especially provincial) state secondary is unlikely to change quite so dramatically over similar timescales but, still, it's worth bearing in mind that you can't plan too far ahead.

On a simple level, to answer your question, I'd say secondary schools are more important as, at that age, the % of influence you have over your dc is lower. In a poor Primary school you can probably support them more and influence their choices more. In a challenging secondary they will also be influenced much more by their peers.

However I agree with everyone else that I wouldn't worry about which secondary school they will go to too much before they start Primary, as there is so much scope for change in the interim years.

None of this can change by the end of the week though.......

Longer term, I would be looking for a bigger house, if you have 2 dc and need a wfh space, as you can afford to. I think you'd regret not doing so.