When going through diagnosis, we were referred to Barnados to see if it was a parenting issue before we could be put on the waiting list for CAMHS. Getting the diagnosis was not easy.
There is a lot of misinformation and bigotry about ADHD and it's treatment - often from people who have no understanding of it and probably wouldn't last a week in my shoes.
DS is a rule follower and will mask in situations outside of the home. I forgot to give him his meds one day last week. I knew he would be fine at school but that my evening would be ruined. Home is his safe space where everything comes out. It can be so hard but often nobody else sees this and assume I've got DS on meds for an easy life.
DS is on meds so that he can access the curriculum. So that he can sit at a desk for an hour at a time without having to walk around and disrupt. So that he can sit and listen without interrupting and explaining the 10 different things that pop into his head. DS once described his brain as feeling as though Alexa, the TV and radio were all playing different things full blast. The meds allow him to focus on one at a time. We don't medicate at the weekend as there is less need to focus and conform.
Making the decision to medicate was not easy. I was worried about the side effects versus benefits, whether I would lose his wonderful personality and the judgement of others. When making the decision, my friend said that I did not have to justify to anyone why I give him his meds but one day I might have to justify to him why I didn't. That struck me.
The meds themselves have not been an easy journey either. We are now on a medication that works but every time he goes for obs I'm scared they will take him off because his height/weight/blood pressure are not right and we have to start over again.
Having a child with ADHD is so much harder than anyone will every really understand. The judgement and stigma only make a tough job even tougher.
OP - you may have genuinely been surprised about the diagnosis but your OP was extremely hurtful to all of the parents who have had to fight to get their kids on an even playing field. Your uneducated opinion regarding the condition and medication is why so many people don't follow up or accept the help. Would you be saying a kid shouldn't have an asthma pump as you had never seen them have an attack? Of course you wouldn't. You would accept that a medical professional had diagnosed and that the condition was under control because of the treatment.
Sorry for the long post - the OP brought back all of the emotions and stress I had to deal with when going through diagnosis and have had to deal with since.