Choosing Senior School

[MrPickles73]

DC1 is in year 7 of a prep school and we have been advised the sooner we can decide on our senior school the better as they will tailor their work to the required entrance exams...

DC1 is bright and enjoys sports. Not particularly into drama, music or art. But an all rounder - greatest strength academic (maths and science).

So we have visited 7 senior schools including 4 with DC but now struggling to pick 'the one'. None of them are ideal and its hard to know what is a 'nice to have' and what is 'essential'. We would be looking for year 9 entry.

Ideally we want a school which is academic, sporty, co-ed day school. We live rurally so accessing some of the schools is an issue. Local state school not an option and grammar school has only day and is too far to commute to. We're not keen on full boarding due to the cost and impact on family life.

So the top 4 options are:

1. International college. Age 13-18. 800 students. Top A level grades. Could be a day pupil (40 mins each way). 90% international boarders, 10% day pupils. No weekly boarding option. Sports provision iffy especially in the sports that DC1 plays (even worse for DC2). But a top 10 UK education for a reasonable day school price £ :-). This is where we assumed the DC would go and DC1's best friend likely to go here but now we are wobbling on this..

2. Co-ed day school. Age 11-18. 800 students. Non selective intake. Mediocre A level grades. 95% day pupils. Could get the train there - total travel time 1 hour each way. Sports provision good. £. Most of DC1's class will go here especially the less academic.

3. Co-ed day school. Age 13-18. 1100 students. V good A level grades. 50% day / 50% boarding. 90 mins by car so would need to be a weekly boarder (££) or buy a small house there (£££) but could sell the house at the end. Sports provision excellent (top 10 in UK so ideal for DC2).

4. Single Sex. Age 11-18. 350 students. Non selective intake. A levels a bit better than school #2. 50% day / 50% boarding. 70 mins by car so would need to be a weekly boarder (££) and would need two scholarships. Sports provision excellent. ££. Rumours of issues with bullying. This school had a nice atmosphere when we went round and is second only in sports provision to school #3.

So for cost schools 1 and 2 are best.
For academics schools 1, 3 and possibly 4 are best (in that order).
The easiest school to get to is 2 (train).
School 3 ticked all the boxes on the tour but is just in the 'wrong' location.
School 4 has the most generous scholarships and weekly boarding could be affordable for us with scholarships.

Our prep school favour school 3 but part of that is getting a more 'exotic' school on the leavers list? Or am I being cynical? Most of the children in the class will go to school 2 (especially the less academic). The prep school also rates school 4. Prep school not that keen on school #1 (not enough sport) and school #2.

DC2 is similar to DC1 but possibly slightly more academic, but lazy, more sporty and the opposite sex.

I should add none of these schools use the ISEB pre-test - they all do their own exams in the autumn / spring term of Year 8.

Well OP you've been on here long enough to know that it would be best to just give us the names of the schools, 7 schools that you have not accepted yet, surely will not out you.

I really wouldn’t go with the international college for the reason that they are FULL of international students. Work ethic is great because that’s all the students pretty much do, largely at the expense of extra curricular. You say it’s “top 10” but results aside, it would be at the bottom of my list as you make so many compromises in other areas. I think you already see this in their sport offering. If sport is important to your children then is it fair to send them to a school where the provision is poor?

You also find that children tend to stick to others of the same nationality and, like it or not, will speak their native tongue with each other. It can be very limiting for making friends.

It’s impossible to say on the others. You mention scholarships a lot, indicating that affordability might be an issue. They can’t be relied on at 13+ and standards will be ridiculously high. At our school, most scholars are on national pathways in their sport by Year 9.

So, define firstly what you can afford and / or if you are happy to move. Then make a list to f what’s important to you as parents. Then get your children to list what’s important to them. Then match to the school that meets the highest number of your requirements.

You have posted many times over the last few months with the same dilemma. I think you’re going round in circles. There’s no right answer other than your gut reaction. I think it’s a bit like buying a house. You just “know” where is the right place.

To add, I am talking as a parent who turned down a place at a top 10 school for my daughter and an academic scholarship to another, because the school age now goes to is just right for her.

She now goes to, not “age” 😂😂😂

mummy195 I have posted the names of the schools before but because we are not in the SE hardly anyone responds. I asked about Malvern which you would think is well known and no one replied...

zodelbud school #3 feels like the one but is it really worth the hassle of buying a house etc?

Wow. How the other half live.

Or they could weekly board. You are only committing to three years (they can move somewhere else for sixth form).

Boarding isn’t right for every family though and in talking about buying a house would indicate it doesn’t lie easy with you. That’s a big upheaval for the whole family.

Dare I say it, but have you considered state? Private schools aren’t always “the best”.

I feel your pain, I am really struggling to make decision re my DS1. For very different reasons though.

Is the grammar really too far away? Although given your ds is yr7 already that may not be a real option.

Given the info provided, I would say

1. NO
2. how do they manage higher achievers? I would find out. What are the GCSE results - more relevant than a level as there is further selection/change after that point.
3. sounds good but you would have to do weekly boarding.
4. sounds less realistic option than 3).

Remember you can move for sixth form, think more about yrs9-11

chocolatehoneycomb grammar school is over an hour away and no public transport. Would could consider it boarding for dc2 and try to get them in for yr 7. Apparently there are 1000 applications for 100 places and of those only 15 are boarders. Priority given to look after children and children from forces families and then how well you do in the exam.
Sounds a great school but I dear the chance of us getting a place is limited and it's single sex. The other sex grammar school is only day and more than an hour away . ...
3 and 4 are geographically opposite so almost impossible to send one child to one and one to the other.
I will do more digging into 2) and ask current school the likelihood of bagging a scholarship of 4).

I immediately thought (3) based on your info & then saw it was what your prep was recommending too.

Would you consider moving? How keen are you on weekly boarding?

I wouldn’t want option 1. Option 2 could be ok if the more academic are pushed but I wouldn’t be keen on that length of commute for a teen. Option 3 seems good if you are prepared to do weekly boarding or move. Option 4 seems less appealing than option 3.

Not 1.

So 1 is off the table.
3 would suit our kids best (especially dc2) but either involves double the fees or 2 to weekly boarding or some kind of midweek house move which sounds a pita.
Not really a direct answer re scholarships and school 4... More that negotiations are possible for talented children.
Just not sure with 3 that I wouldn't have sleepless nights over the fees.. The other option is to go for 2 and hope they can inspire dc2 into second gear?

School 3

They all sound like big compromises, especially for the amount of money you will be paying. Can you move somewhere with better state schools or closer to the grammar schools?

Based on all your other posts, the schools in the mix are probably between Concord College, Shrewsbury, Rugby, Malvern, Bromsgrove and I can’t guess the single sex (maybe Moreton Hall?)

You moved your children recently to a prep in Y6 which sends quite a few children to some of the top boarding schools. Your children got scholarships to attend with significant fee discount. (As an aside, scholarships are easier to get for Y7/8 at a prep school as they need to entice people to join and backfill those who leave at 11. That’s not to say your children are not talented or deserving, just that it is MUCH harder to get a scholarship at 13+ so don’t bank on it).

You have between £500k and £750k in savings which you have accumulated through your own business but you want to use this money to fund early retirement as opposed to spending a huge chunk on school fees. But the money is there for the right school if you feel it’s worth it (and could be used to purchase the home closer to the school).

You are wanting the very “best” school for your children in the local area but you have discounted the most convenient ones as not being good enough. Which leaves you with options that aren’t quite right unless you move. But you’re not sure that any of these options actually warrant the upheaval of weekly boarding, having to relocate or “worth” the additional fees.

Which is why you keep coming back to mumsnet to try and help you make the decision. Questions you need to answer:

1. Can you afford any of these schools without scholarships? If not then of course try for scholarships but if they are not achieved then they are off the list.

2. What is the longest commute you are prepared for your children to do, bearing in mind they will be lugging sports kit, musical instruments, books and whatever delicacy they made in cooking with them on cold, dark winter nights. If the commute is too much then scratch them off the list.

3. Are you all GENUINELY on board with weekly boarding? Do any of the schools have Saturday school? If so, by the time matches have been played you are looking at picking them up mid to late Saturday afternoon and bringing them back on Sunday evening. Do check the finer details of weekly boarding as it can be a lot more full on than them just sleeping at school Mon to Thu nights. If the boarding offering doesn’t work then cross it off the list.

4. Would you GENUINELY consider buying another house close to the school? Interest rates are extremely low at present so, in theory, you could buy a property on a five year fixed rate interest only deal and then sell. The interest is minimal but you do stand the risk of negative equity. Are you prepared to do this? If not, take it off the list. If you are then you could potentially look at a much wider range of schools and find the one that is truly perfect. You can include grammars and amazing state schools in your list (but places at 13 are thin on the ground). But given how hard you are finding this already, it might not be wise.

5. Have you actually visited any of these schools in real life? You can’t make a decision until you have. You might be surprised. Local hearsay and reputation can sometimes be unreliable.

I know what it’s like trying to choose the “best” school. Been there, done that. It was only by engaging with the schools regularly (open days, individual tours, taster days, sleepovers at boarding schools) that we were able to arrive at our decision. We turned down a place a WA because, even as a day girl, it felt like school interfered too much with family life there. It also wasn’t so amazingly brilliant, other world experience above and beyond the school she now attends to justify the additional fees. She is on track to achieve top grades in her GCSEs so arguably get exactly the same as if she had gone to WA. The thing is, whilst bright girls do very well at her school, they have a much wider academic intake so the school as a whole isn’t getting results anything like WA. But bright girls are achieving, being stretched and pushed, and encouraged with extra curricular. You need to dig deeper to get your answers.

I was feeling a bit exasperated about not knowing the schools (I had thought 3 was maybe Millfield?) but great recap @zodlebud.

All of these commutes sound bad - even 40 minutes each way for the international college (which I also agree with the other posters sounds totally unsuitable). I think 30 minutes tops is reasonable. Otherwise look at weekly boarding. The commute on Saturday/Sunday can be a pain but it’s only once a week, some schools have Sunday evening buses and you can sometimes find other parents to ride share with.

Exam results are not the be all and end all.Academic children will get good grades in a good school. My DC have attended every type of school and we didn't always get it right.I would think of your DC1 , their interests and personality and the impact on family life of your choice.I also agree that you should be targeting years 9-11 in your thoughts.DC2 might change a lot in the next few years.I totally agree that the international school would be hard to thrive in. As far as commuting is concerned, a lot of DC around here have long commutes and get used to it. It's chief draw back is not having local friends which is not insignificant.Take with a pinch of salt the hype in brochures and on open days.A happy child will meet their potential given decent teaching so concentrate on which school can meet their needs.