Where on earth shall I live? Kent schools

[Koala3d]

I have two boys and am trying to work out where to live. I am a product of the Kent grammar system but moved up to London after university. I moved back to have my boys and am renting just outside Tunbridge wells. My eldest will be starting primary in a year and I am ready to buy but am so stuck as to where.

Both boys seem bright and I imagine grammars would work for them but I swore after my grammar experience not to send my kids to a single sex exam factory! I know skinners and judd have a great reputation but I really would like a mixed sex school. I am v much not religious so Bennett is out. Would moving to cranbrook be ridiculous? I don’t know if the school there is still struggling and can’t Find out anything helpful! I have elderly parents in Tunbridge wells so feel I need to stay in the area but am so conflicted about where to buy!

We were in the same situation. Had high 11+ pass but wanted coed. Bennett out because we didn't want a faith school (wouldn't have got in anyway). St Greg's less church-y but had v mixed opinions from friends, and didn't seem a great fit for a not confident, not sporty, v geeky kid (nor did the Tonbridge high schools). Ended up going private instead, but appreciate that that's a privileged position to be in. How about looking at Beacon in Crowborough? Not too far from TW and outside the grammar system, so maybe more genuinely comprehensive?

Could you live close enough to access the East Grinstead schools? Tbh a lot can change in 7 years.

Thank you so much for replies- I must admit I hadn’t really thought about Beacon or the East Grinstead schools. I remember when I was growing up Beacon was always thought to have serious problems with bullying but of course that was20 years ago! Anyone got more recent info?
Also I think I’ve got sucked into the mindset that grammars would offer the best for the boys and - even if I have reservations- I’d be letting them down if I didn’t give them the opportunity. It looks ridiculous now I’ve written it down but I do think that assumption is part of the problem for me!

Btw messinbminor do you mind saying which private school you decided on?

There are mixed Grammars in Kent, Rainham Mark ( rainham) and Barton Court in Canterbury , pretty sure there are a couple more as well ..

Sure, they're at Sevenoaks. Re the 'grammar is better' assumption, I think it does depend to some extent on your child - their personality, their subject interests, their extra curricular interests. Others will doubtless disagree, but I think that an able but grounded kid who's pretty down to earth, reasonably confident/outgoing, perhaps has sports interests/hobbies outside school, will probably do pretty well at any decent school. But a kid who's very able, perhaps interested in more academic/niche subjects like further maths or languages, perhaps not that resilient, and looking for lots of like-minded kids and opportunities for things like orchestras, subject-based clubs etc, is likely to be happier at the grammars, as that's where the majority of those kids will end up. FWIW I think DS is one of the latter while DD is one of the former, and I would have been more relaxed about school choice for her than for him. In the end though, we went independent for both. Your children are very young to know what will suit them when they're older.