Move from state to pre prep - yr 2

[Offerdecisionneeded]

Just looking for some reassurance (hopefully)

Moved my 6.5 year old daughter from state to pre prep to start Year 2 this week.
From the little bits she’s told me, she says ‘everyone is better than her at reading’ and she was quite upset tonight about it. I think another kid was talking about book bands and made a comment about everyone being on higher colours but my dd said it was said ‘in a kind way’.

My worry is that she IS behind and will feel this more and more and it will knock her confidence. She was higher end in her state primary and meeting/above expectations for everything.

For those who’ve experienced state to private, any words of wisdom?
She’s otherwise quite happy, no fuss going into school and made lots of friends already.
(I know we’re only a few days in)
Oh and she left her old school on level 7 ort and brought home level 6 last few nights…

Is it a selective school?

Yes. There’s normally an assessment morning which didn’t happen because of Covid. We instead submitted her school report and examples of her writing and reading level.

It’s not crazy super selective (outside London)

It will take a while for her to show where she is at but will probably "catch up" quite quickly once settled. Lots of children regress over summer and lockdowns. There does tend to be a range of abilities with many above national average in private schools but that is skewed by relatively more parental engagement as part of the choice they have made.

Thankyou, yeh that makes sense. I just don’t want her confidence to be hit in the process. I’ve written a little note in her reading diary just to say she’s having a little wobble with reading. (I also don’t want the teacher thinking I’m crazy just three days in..)

She's young, she'll catch up. My nephew moved in year 5 and caught up in weeks even in subjects he hadn't been doing in state school.

As a teacher I would say it is important to let the teach know DDS worries. Especially at this age as they can't always communicate the issue in the heat of the moment and it can lead to tears or outbursts which could be avoided.

Thanks spangle, that’s really reassuring to know!

Sorry - just come back to this. I’d make several points:

• if she’s gone from a non selective to a selective school, then the average level will be higher and she may well have picked up on it. So maybe she was above average in her old class, but is only average in a class selected on the basis of academic ability. Just a function of the change of environment and nothing to worry about for you.
• My DD (also at a selective school) does this a lot. “Everyone is better at…” This caused some upset last term and I had a word with the teacher, who said emphatically that not everyone was better, it was just that she was sitting next to two girls who were exceptionally good. They can get a bit of a skewed perception when they’re young.
• As others have said, perfectly usual for kids to regress a bit over the long summer holiday. But I’m sure you’ve had fun/broadened her education in other ways and she’ll get back into the swing of it this week.

Hope the new school goes well for your DD.

Thanks wimpole. Just wondering, did your daughter’s confidence take a hit? How did you manage her feeling like ‘everyone was better’ - I presume just lots of reassurance? Would be interested to hear.
Hopefully the teacher will see my comment in her homework diary today.
God, I’m glad I took a few days off work this week to manage my own emotions. My twins also started there this week and it’s been a draining week!

I can’t imagine it is a state - private issue, more that the private school can turn away the children with SEN and lower ability who your daughter is used to seeing achieve at a slower level than her. Actually the teaching doesn’t have to be very spangly at selective schools (although in the better ones it is) because they have a tried and tested able cohort. They just need to keep the pressure on them for data / marketing purposes.

Hope that doesn’t mean they can ask the children at the lower end of things to leave..!
Thanks piggy

@Offerdecisionneeded sadly they can, and do. It is called being ‘managed out’. They have a marketing brief to fulfil to make sure that to prospective customers they appear to be achieving a certain academic level. If a child doesn’t ‘fit’ they are managed out - often this isn’t very transparent and can be bewildering.
There is a thread about it on primary education at the moment for more info.
Your DC will flourish I am sure; the additional homework will make sure they are up to speed in no time. But do be aware that your DC is now being educated by a business.

Oh god. Ok thanks. Do you have a link to the thread by any chance? I can’t find it. Thankyou

@Offerdecisionneeded You’re quite right - it did knock her confidence. Having a word with the teacher helped us to reassure her and they’ve said that they’ll tell her new teacher that she needs a bit of a boost. It can be a big downside of selective schools, actually; you get a lot of kids tutored outside who are then obviously “ahead” in lessons.

Do they ask kids to leave? Yes, but gently….and only on the basis that it’s obviously the wrong environment for that child, looked at over a period of time. Honestly, I’d just ask for a quick word with the teacher and spend a bit of time at home having fun with some books that she enjoys to give her a bit of a boost.

She will catch up very quickly. DS1 joined private from state in yr1 - has SEN and has been supported rather than managed out - and his reading accelerated ++++ once he had a teacher reading with him every day, books changed daily, a choice of interesting books etc.

Ds2 is also in yr2 now, he is on level 12. This morning at school dc were handing in books into piles and there were books at level 9 and above. A couple of reading levels is neither here nor there in overall educational terms. Many countries start reading much later. I would let your dd know that and reassure she is doing really well.

Not all private schools manage out or refuse all kids with SEN, it is highly dependent on the school ethos. Our school is non selective for pre prep, selective for the prep but not fiercely so and they take all who want to stay from the pre prep without any assessment.

Oh and I would speak to the teacher if your dd or you are worried. I find that very reassuring at times.

Thankyou chocolatehoneycomb that’s really good to hear. Glad your ds settled and ‘caught up’ quickly.
DD’s daughter wrote back that she’s at the expected level at this point in the year and that she’ll reassure her at their next reading session.

I’m sure we’ll get there, I do tend to overthink things like this!

I'd ignore the bit about the school being a business 🙄. The majority of all independent schools in the UK are charities, they are not turning a profit for anyone and all money is reinvested in the school to make the education the best they can deliver. Salaries above 60k I believe all have to be reported and are available on the charitable commission website in yearly reporting. No one is making a killing off your child's school, and in fact, typically the heads make less than those at MATs which obvs are free options.

My kid moved from state to an academic pre prep in Y1.
He was OK with the reading (despite his state school doing everything it could to put him off), but in maths he was way behind. I couldn’t understand how such a big gap could have opened up after just one year in reception, but it seemed the pre-prep had just covered a lot more.

His confidence is always a bit fragile but he found the first two terms really really hard all around. By the third term he had settled in socially. But to be honest he never really caught up in maths. While he was learning/ consolidating material, the others were always going on to new concepts. The trouble was that the school prepared kids for the 7+ and 8+, so the staff were under a lot of pressure to cover a lot of material early and the 7+ kids were also all being tutored starting in Y1. By the time he left at the end of Y3, his class had already covered all national curriculum material for Y4 and were starting on some Y5 stuff.

The good news (I suppose) is though that there was NEVER any question of being him being “managed out”, even though it is a very results conscious school. Many of these schools are owned by private equity firms these days and the number one consideration is maximising revenue from fees. They can’t afford to kick pupils out unless they are seriously disruptive.

He’s now at a slightly more normal school and I think/hope that he will be in the mid-ranks for maths.

My advice would be

1. don’t worry about reading levels - they are a bit meaningless anyway and most reading scheme books are dull as ditchwater. Look instead for “home” books in the library or charity shops with themes your child is interested in.
2. if your child feels a bit behind in reading, find something that they are good at (art, maths, music etc) and really big that up to boost their confidence.
3. don’t underestimate the social side of switching schools and how that affects confidence. Being the only new kid in the class is tough. Get some playdates in ASAP!

thingaling Thankyou for your response, so so helpful.
My dd got star of the week today for settling in so well so she’s pretty chuffed. Socially, she’s good. She integrates v easily. I think it’s , like you say, a case of closing the gap a bit.
Why did your son leave after year 3? X

It’s a pre-prep so only goes up to 8. About 20% of the kids leave at the.end of Y2 having passed the 7+, the rest take the 8+ and leave at the end of Y3.

Well done on star of the week. Sounds like the school is on top of things.

@EllieNBeeb

I'd ignore the bit about the school being a business 🙄. The majority of all independent schools in the UK are charities, they are not turning a profit for anyone and all money is reinvested in the school to make the education the best they can deliver. Salaries above 60k I believe all have to be reported and are available on the charitable commission website in yearly reporting. No one is making a killing off your child's school, and in fact, typically the heads make less than those at MATs which obvs are free options.

Absolute crap ! They are businesses and as was quoted to me “we are a business and have to be mindful of parents” in other words they don’t want SEN children…..

Do you understand the difference between a business and a charity? What you're saying is nonsense. You may send your kid to a subpar prep school owned by a business but the majority are not

@EllieNBeeb

Do you understand the difference between a business and a charity? What you're saying is nonsense. You may send your kid to a subpar prep school owned by a business but the majority are not

it depends where you are in the country. In London, most prep schools are now owned by private equity investors who run them to maximise financial returns. London schools are especially attractive to them because a) they think the parents can afford big fee increases and b) the land/property the schools occupy is very valuable, so if all else fails they can close the school and redevelop into flats.

@EllieNBeeb

Do you understand the difference between a business and a charity? What you're saying is nonsense. You may send your kid to a subpar prep school owned by a business but the majority are not

Who said anything about sending my child to a subpar prep school as it happens the one I had issues with managing out my son was a charity. Why are you so prickly about this?