Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Dilema over possible school change. Advice please?

17 replies

BananaSplit · 29/11/2007 10:13

We moved area about 2 years ago & were unable to secure a place for either of our dc`s at our very local school that serves the estate we live on. I have spent the last 2 years leaving the house earlier & earlier (because of increasing traffic) driving them the nightmare, un walkable journey to our next nearest school. It is a nice enough school, & academically I cant fault it. But its a very small school with small year groups & mixed classes. Because of this my youngest has consistently had issues over lack of suitable friends to play with & intermittent bullying. She also has a minor special need that is not being met adequately. Eldest is happy there & seems to be in a lovely class with people that accept her for who she is. She is incredibly shy & sensitive & will burst into tears at the drop of a hat. She is very lucky she is not being bullied. Although she seems to spend a lot of time clinging to her sister rather than joining in the other kids games.

Yesterday evening I checked my phone messages to find a message there from our local school to say they finally have space for both of my dc & they can start in the new year if I wish. I need to decide quickly though because other people are interested in the spaces.

My immediate thought was, "its too late to move them now" but having had the evening to think about it more I started to go over the good & bad points for moving them in my head.

Good points:

1, We could walk/scooter to school. This is such a big thing for me as I hate being reliant on a car that never seems to be particularly reliable. Its so embarrassing having to cadge lifts off people whenever mine or dh`s car is out of action (he will take mine to work if his is out) It seems to happen every few months & it would be so fab not to have to worry about that.
And of course the added bonus that we would save at least £50 a month during term time in petrol money.

2, Local school local friends that we can walk to easily. Children could get to know the kids on our estate, which just hasnt happened yet because they are not at the local school, & they are too shy to go & approach people they dont know. Could help bring my eldest out of her shell, hopefully.

3, Larger school, more possible friends. No mixed age teaching, more after school clubs, events etc.

4, Already know a lot of kids from the school through after school clubs. I used to work at the school & know a lot of the staff/pupils already. I know its a nice school.

5, I think I forgot to mention that we could leave the house a whole 20-25 minutes later in the morning (& 10 minutes in the afternoon) if we moved them. No stress of getting out of the door by 820am in order to secure a parking space as far away from the school as we can safely park (in order to get just a few minutes exercise a day) or being just a few minutes later & having to park somewhere silly about 3/4 of a mile the other side of the school. We could saunter off to school at 840am & still get there in plenty of time.

Bad,

1, Eldest is in year 4 & will be entering a very established year group. She is very shy & sensitive, im worried about jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Although she does know at least 3 people in that class already, 2 of them having transfered from their current school & her current class.

2, It could all go horribly wrong.

3, Much larger class sizes. 30 in each instead of 20/22, but not mixed ages.

My gut feeling is that dd2 needs to move schools because of friendship issues & dd1 is fine where she is. This would be a very difficult scenario & im inclined to try them out at the local school & if it all goes wrong I could always move one or both of them back to their old school.

What are your thoughts? Congratulations! (& thanks) if you got this far.

OP posts:
chopchopbusybusy · 29/11/2007 10:16

I'd move them.

Could you invite the children DD1 knows already round to play during the Christmas holidays?

Anchovy · 29/11/2007 10:33

I would move them - am a big fan of local schools and local friends. Ours is about 10 mins walk away and DCs have lots of mates who live in the surrounding roads. They have (mostly!) nice parents and/or nannies and it makes our life a lot better as well.

filthymindedvixen · 29/11/2007 10:35

sounds like a no-brainer to me...

mumblechum · 29/11/2007 10:35

Definitely move them.

castille · 29/11/2007 10:39

I think I'd move them, particularly as they will already know a few children. A bigger class means more potential friends to choose from too.

Cam · 29/11/2007 10:43

There seems to be more pros than cons for moving them in your list below

choosyfloosy · 29/11/2007 10:45

I would move them, but...

Could you afford to put dd1 in a taxi every day to/from the other school? Or find another parent locally (if any) who goes to the same school and will take her every day for a bit of petrol money?

I would seriously consider this tbh but perhaps it is not realistic.

I would consult with dd1 about how she would feel about being in a school without her sister.

If she is distraught at the prospect of moving I would look at the taxi/lift option, but moving them woudl be the default.

HTH.

BananaSplit · 29/11/2007 11:15

Seems quite unanimous for the local school then

choosyfloosy, I asked them straight out if they wanted to go & have a look at our local school. Youngest said "yes" immediately. Eldest said she didnt want to be at school without her sister. Then in the next breath she asked if she could scooter to the local school, & when I said yes she wanted to go there, no arguments. They also have an Art club at that school, which their current school do not have, & dd is very arty. Getting a taxi to the current school would be impossible, I would have to take eldest dd there myself & drop her sister off afterwards. It wouldnt be easy, but it is do able should things not work out at the local school for her.

We are going to have a look around the school & meet the head teacher & their new class teachers next week. Ive previously met all 3 & know that they are nice people. This helps a lot.

Great idea about inviting round some kids we already know during the christmas break chopchopbusybusy. (great name btw) Unfortunately we are unlikely to see them now because the Rainbows she knows them from is finished now for christmas.

OP posts:
choosyfloosy · 29/11/2007 12:47

cool, sounds like it's really working out.

(i wouldn't be surprised if the Rainbows leader would be willing to pass on your phone number and an offer to get together to the rest of the group?)

BananaSplit · 29/11/2007 13:14

Possibly, im not entirely sure who still goes there & who`s left. I expect we will wait & see what happens next week first before doing anything else though anyway.

OP posts:
ELR · 29/11/2007 16:48

move them its always hard entering the unknown but will be fine im sure!!

Carbonel · 29/11/2007 18:56

Move them

I moved my two from a smaller school to a bigger one and it was the best thing I did. They are very happy have lots of friends and settled in really well

Also the issue of it being local is a very big pull - walking to school is fab!

tatt · 29/11/2007 19:09

move them - and if at all possible get them there for a week before Christmas. If not try and get to any events the Parents Association arrange as your children will start to mix with the other childrem. They are usually things like christmas fetes/ carol services or concerts or something you can go to. Then your children's first impressions will be positive.

What can look like an established group is often a group bored with each other and keen to know someone new

aintnomountainhighenough · 29/11/2007 20:21

Yes I think I would move them if I were you. Will all the children from the area go to the same local secondary? If so you eldest DD will be able to hook up with her friends from her current school when she moves up!

pooka · 29/11/2007 20:25

MOve them. I really don't think you can overestimate how great it can be to be at a local school, living near to school friends, and being able to walk there easily. Is very important IMO.

BananaSplit · 30/11/2007 22:35

All the kids go to the same Comp at secondary level. Actually at their current school a fair few go private or to Grammar at 11, & theres a pretty high turnover of kids joining from or leaving to go private constantly for some reason. They both lost their best friends to private schools at the end of last term. The local school seems to have a much more stable role with fewer kids opting out of the state sector or going to Grammars at 11. They still get similar (good) results to our school though.
Think we have already missed the Christmas fair tatt. Will ask the head about if its possible to start earlier & if he thinks its a good idea or not.

OP posts:
BananaSplit · 04/12/2007 18:00

Went to see the local school today & it really is lovely. Head teacher was great & completely unfazed by my dd`s & the issues they bring with them. Both girls are very happy to go to this school despite the fact that they wont get to go swimming or learn another language until year 6. (dd1 is already doing these things at her current school) They loved the fact that they could walk to school in 5 minutes & at some point be able to walk to school on their own.
I loved the fact that we could walk to school & save £10 a week in petrol & that they offer recorder lessons free of charge instead of the £8 a lesson im currently paying for dd1. Working that out over the course of the 2 2/3 years before I have to start driving dd1 to secondary school we would save over £1800
Still not 100% decided. Dh & I are currently having some problems & have discussed the possibility of splitting up. I wouldnt want to change their school only to have to change it again in 6 months time. If that wasnt an issue id move them like a shot. Need to get things sorted with dh first.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page