State secondary schools with small class sizes

[vanillaflower]

Are there any good ones out there in the U.K. that aren't private schools?

It does vary from school to school (that statement covers almost every aspect of education in this country BTW). Schools also have hugely different amounts of bursaries to give out.

@vanillaflower a state school with less than 25-30 in a class would have so little money that your child's education would suffer in many other ways. As others have said, go for a school with a good SEN department, and ideally plenty of breakout spaces. Have a good talk with the SENCo before you do. And, crucially, if you do find the perfect school, don't shout it to the rafters on social media or you'll soon find that it's inundated and overwhelmed with children with similar needs. Schools have finite ability to cope.

It's a bit rubbish. The kids who cause trouble or seek attention get 50% of the attention, the favourite few who are outstanding in the subject get 25% of the teacher's direct attention and the rest are taught en masse with no individual attention at all. Not the teacher's fault necessarily - it's a numbers game.
My DC did an extra GCSE recovery class in English in a group of 6 which lasted 4 weeks (yes, really..). DC said 3+ had issues with inference which is very difficult to fully understand with ASD when being taught in large groups.

@vanillaflower if you're willing to move have a look at Settlebeck School in Sedbergh in Cumbria. My friend's DS goes there, having transferred from a bigger, noisier school that he couldn't cope with (he also wears headphones a lot of the time) and he loves it.

SEN provision is excellent (they are known for it) and as a result all of the kids benefit from a more thoughtful ambience in the school, which is tiny. They don't have a sixth form but pupils either head over to Kendal (the nearest large town) or go private locally, for which there are several options.

I am considering it for DS (not for a few years yet) who also struggles with some of the issues your DC has.

Inference is one of my dc biggest flags. Hardly any inference skills at all. In life and in English classes! Today is sports day. They've been asked to wear pe kit to school. Dc puts on pe kit and then black school shoes.

When I said why not trainers they said that no one specifically said trainers (of course they're racing later and will need trainers but this didn't twig). Maths they are off the scale good, English they are still above average but have to be trained specifically to answer inference questions (techniques to help when they aren't seeing what they need to see) so it's all quite complicated and they have help at school and with me.

Current school generally don't make much fuss about it all and just put dc in whatever rank they come in the class which at the moment is nearly top but I can see that slipping when things like the shoe incident becomes more apparent and embarrassing for dc as they navigate teenage years etc. I'm dreading it if I'm honest.

@Peach1886 thank you very much. Yes I will consider moving anywhere as I want my dc to go to school and I'm concerned in the end I'll end up home ed which I don't want for dc or me.

There are definitely different levels of private schools though. There are a couple of small independent schools near me with only 50 ish children per year. Their fees are also cheaper that the big name large independent schools. Depending on what you are paying for prep a school like that maybe not be too much of a leap. These schools are also more nurturing with good pastoral care. Obviously their results will never match the large selective private schools but they are not bad.

@vanillaflower another friend was pushing me to home ed DS because of his chronic shyness and hearing sensitivity, but thankfully I talked to our health visitor and his nursery teacher about it and both said that's the last thing I should do as that would only prolong/exacerbate the problem...he needed to be at school with other kids and coping as best he could (not meant in a horrid way, just as in doing his best with it).

He has flourished as a result, and home ed would have been a disaster for all of us, with lifelong, unhelpful implications all round.

Thanks @Peach1886 my dc is definitely going to secondary school come what may as I work pt and don't want to have to give up work if I don't have to but it's more me panicking about if things don't work out.

I probably need to take a deep breath but the noise thing is the bit that's bothering me the most about secondary school. My dc puts their fingers in their ears and they cannot manage noise at all. They might get through the day' but it will be at the expense of learning anything and obviously it will become a problem if they drop down because they're not coping so I'm trying to prevent this where possible.

That's also where I was coming from @vanillaflower, my job is important to me and my identity, and whilst I am devoted to DS and always put him first, I realised a while back that I must not sacrifice myself in the process!

If you can run to it the Good Schools Guide can advise (on a consultancy basis) on schools with good SEN provision, both state and independent, special school and mainstream. www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/special-educational-needs

Thanks for your help @Peach1886 I will take a look. Hopefully it will all work itself out but having not been prepared in the past and actually moving areas for the current school I want to be more prepared now and also don't really want to have to move dc in secondary unless absolutely necessary.