how do you keep building a child's confidence when school keep knocking it?

[crossma]

?

In what way do they knock it?

Complain to the school, what are they doing to knock it, it's their responsibility as much as yours to support a child's confidence any good teacher should .

Shouting
telling him off for not understanding
little things which is part of the problem.

trouble with complaining is that if you bring up little things it seems petty
if you complain (too often ) it could make matters worse.

I just tell him that's life unfortunately BUT it's not fair they are adults and he is only 9

I've just spent another evening trying to make him feel better about school and about himself. I am so cross.

that sounds awful

I would put in a formal complaint, then they have to do something about it. As A teacher myself I am sooooo conscious of the fact that school is the kids life - it should be pleasant, not soul destroying..

teachers should not shout at children , especially for not understanding. It is the teachers responsibility to help the child understand, it sounds like an issue you shouldn't really leave alone. Could you go and talk to the teacher to see what his/her problem is...i mean as in go in to discuss 'issues' which you are concerned about rather than going stomping in and shouting back at the teacher IYSWIM. if your ds is getting upset about it you need to find out what's going on.

yes and then complain if you still don't get anywhere.

Is it just this year's teacher? In which case I'd log all incidents and put in a formal complaint as Bunny says. If it's been a problem over the years then is it something that he's not understanding? If so does your school offer learning support or something similar.

Another way to perhaps increase his confidence is to do things outside school that he's good at - maybe sports, or cubs or something and keep praising all the time.

I know what you mean though - no disrespect to teachers at all, they do a fantastic job in the main, but I wish some of them would just think before they spoke.

Good idea about outside interests! Find something that he can get certificates and badges at and make a point of sticking them on his bedroom wall. This helped with my son, when he was having self-esteem problems.

crossma - what are your son's strengths? What activities can you find that he will be a real success at and get praise for his achievements?

I am sorry about the situation your son is in and I think the school is at fault and should provide more support.

But saying that...I have always tried to teach my 2 dds the following: You cannot change other people (even your teacher), you can only change your own response to them. And: If someone is persistently unpleasant to you and you know you are not in the wrong then it is their problem. You just carry on doing your best. WE are proud of you and so should you be.

This is difficult at your ds' age as they naturally tend to adore their teachers at that age and to get such negative feedback can be quite devastating. I would really fight for him on this issue as it can have repercussions on his later school years.

Just wanted to cry for him as I took him to school again. Having to place your child in such a situation is well just so awful. It seems to be the school generally head not up to much etc. Can't move, other schools we are not in right area for and they are always oversubscribed. I have tried to get him involved in other things outside school but he is only interested in things we cannot afford right now. Wanted to get him jogging to increase his speed for sports day but it's so cold now and not easy without everyone in the area seeing you and he then feels self-conscious.

Meant to say, we do praise as much as possible but he is not daft and he is not below average at school talking to someone this morning about her ds who is in the top 4 in the class and was told that if her son answered a question wrong he would just be told no wrong answer so he has stopped answering unless asked direct.