South London pre-prep schools

[Favela]

My lovely boss has offered to pay for our daughter to go to private pre-prep school in south London. I am very grateful, but nervous about social life as I am a domestic worker. Does anyone have any experience as such of this? Thomas's, Broomwood Hall?

Are you sure you can trust the offer? I wouldn't accept anything less than full fees paid upfront otherwise I'd say thanks, but no thanks.

I agree that you need to be sure of the funding (and any tax implications of it) and check which schools fall within any maximum.

Then think about what sort of schools you'd like - co-ed or single sex? What sort of environment do you think would suit your DD best? Any particular features you would like a school to have?

Have you made a short list of all the schools which which work logistically for you (ease of daily school run)?

Are there strings attached? What happens if your or the company's circumstances change?

What if he gets fired or what if you want to move jobs.

I wouldn’t take it.... he can change his mind and you will be stuck x

He is the father of my daughter. Do you think he has to pay for school? Maybe I need to speak to a lawyer? Does anyone know one in south London?

If you are not married on in an ongoing relationship then yes get a legal contract drawn up. Even so how could you enforce it if he changed his mind or could no longer afford it. Does he pay any maintenance?

You work for your daughters father in a domestic role? Wtf??

So. many. Questions!

Is he paying for this as a dad or an employer. How old is your dd, does she want to go to private school, whereabouts do you live. Has he looked at local private schools in the area to find out the costs and curriculum.

Are you a domestic employee and your boss is your daughter’s father? There’s no problem with that if that’s the case, but I suggest you talk to a lawyer about formalising the requirement that he supports your daughter now and in the future. Are you able to go to a citizen’s advice bureau or do you have money to be able to pay a local family lawyer to advise?

He's "your lovely boss" and also the father of your child? What an absolutely bizarre turn of phrase...

Dear Super Bowels,
Do the morals or semantics upset you?
I was nervous about judgey people at private schools. Tell me where your children go and I’ll know where not to send mine.

And thank you to LIZS and legallyblonde. I have been to the CItizen’s Advice Bureau and found that I should be getting more help than private school fees.

Is he Arnie?

You need to see a solicitor about child maintenance, and getting a proper agreement about funding private school assuming both of you agree that it the type of schooling that would bsuit best.

What can't happen is for you to decide you want it, and then just hand him the bill. There are excellent state primaries close to the two private schools you name.

So it is a case of deciding what sort of school is right for your DD (I asked a few questions about this above). Have you had any conversations with her father about his views?

I think all the comments are from people with your interests at heart, and if anything judging the boss / father, not you!

And their questioning was not without reason as you have discovered that you should be getting more help!

@Favela

Dear Super Bowels, Do the morals or semantics upset you? I was nervous about judgey people at private schools. Tell me where your children go and I’ll know where not to send mine.

It's bizarre because surely this question should be "the father of my child has offered to pay for school" rather than you placing the importance on him being your boss. The fact you've given his role as boss above father really makes it sound like you've been massively taken advantage of at work. He should also absolutely be paying maintenance for his child in addition to school fees (if that's what you decide you want). Maintenance is a basic right! Don't let him fob you off with just the school fees and remember that with private schools come trips and uniforms and other bits and bobs that will need paying for too. Just paying the fees could still leave you with a lot of potential outlay.

Frankly a man who impregnates his domestic staff and then doesn't contribute towards to upkeep of his child in a meaningful way is very far from a "lovely boss", that's not even a decent man...

Omg 😲