got off on the wrong foot with HM

[soopermum1]

well, i went to the open day of my 2nd choice school and when i asked the HM about breakfast and after school clubs, his face totally changed. he said that breakfast clubs had been devised to get poor parents back into work not for middle class parents who wanted to pay for their 3rd ski trip , shame about having to work to keep a roof over my head!

ffs, the man knows nothing about me! i told him i disagreed and that i didn't go on ski holidays. it was all sort of polite etc and all that 'not putting you in that category' shit, but he was. he said he thinks parents should change their working patterns to drop off and pick up their children from school. yeah, i'd like to do that too.

don't know what to do now , it's only my 2nd choice, but if DS doesn't get into my first choice, i may face the dilemma of sending him to a school which otherwise seems great but i dislike the HM.

the funny thing is, he spent 15 minutes going on about it having a strong christian ethic, but i don't think him instantly judging me was very christian tbh. i don't judge other folks and their circumstances, so why does he feel as though he's in a position to do it? grrrrrrr

How rude (the HM not you!)

WHat an A***sehole. Parents should change their working patterns? So does this mean he would expect his teachers who are mothers to change their working patterns to suit the children's timetables (i.e. be allowed to come in to work earlier?) Lots of schools in all sorts of areas run extended days in fact I thought the government paid extra funding to schools who did?

Oh crikey. What an idiot. I know of a local school where the headmistress was asked the same, and gave a response saying "well, the majority of our parents are white middle class, and most of the mummies stay at home"
And this was a bog-standard (for our area) state school. With a headmistress with a crap attitude. And a school that felt as soulless and lacking in joy as a prison IMO.

thanks for the messages, feeling a bit low and angry at the same time. feel guilty enough at working full time. good point re teachers, what does he expect them to do? i live in london, really thought he would know that getting a mortgage needs 2 wages, as is the case for most parts of the country from what i can see these days

Sorry I meant teachers come in to work later not earlier

I am a teacher who uses breakfast clubs sometimes and after school clubs 4 days a week and while I will not pretend to be poor there are no ski trips

at the Head's attitude!

The breakfast club at our school is used for all kinds of reasons. Some children use it regularly so that the parents can get to work on time. Some use it because they enjoy being there with all their friends. Others use it now and then if, for example, their parents have an appointment somewhere first thing in the morning.

I know quite a few parents whose children use the breakfast club vecause they like them! The children don't need to go but enjoy haveing a relaxed time to interact with their friends outside of a classroom setting!

The HM needs a bit of a reality check, if he is going to ailienate parents with such classic turns of phrase then he is going to find his school going down on pupil numbers, ofsted reports etc.

We will all keep our fingers crossed for you that your DS gets into your first choice school. That HM sounds like nothing but trouble.

I was worried about being seen as a 'career woman working all hours and making the kids schedule fit in with my work at all costs' kind of mum if I asked and it was borderline as to whether we would get into the 1st and 2nd choices due to the distance door to door and heavy demand for places, so I phrased the question carefully as I wanted our application to be considered in an unbiased way.

My line was ...

" How do you feel about all this wrap around care that the government seems to be expecting schools to provide these days, will your school be doing breakfast clubs/after school clubs?"

Not only did I get the information I needed, I got an opinion from the Head as to whether they approved of the provision/use of such facilities.

They both thought it was being foisted upon them and resented the additional administrative burden. One said the local childminders were worried about it taking away their business.

Your Headteacher was being very "foot in mouth" and shortsighted, I mean how does he think that his own staff with children manage to work normal hours ? I'd worry about his intelligence level personally.