Joining a prep school in Year 7?

[duchessa]

After many years overseas we're relocating to the UK, and DS1 will be starting Year 7. He will be 'behind' in the UK curriculum and he's a shy kid who doesn't transition easily/do well in large classes or super pushy environments.

We're planning to put our younger DC into a local state school but we wondered if giving DS1 2 years in a gentle, non-hothouse prep would be a good way to ease him into the UK system? He would certainly get more attention but as we don't really understand the system it would be great to get some insight. The schools we have spoken to all say they have a handful of 'new kids' joining in Year 7, some from overseas,, but obviously many more leave than join.

Thanks so much in advance x

I think it is a good idea. Yr 7 & 8 in a prep is good value, or at least as good value as you get within the private system. Small classes will help him get to grips with the English system and it will be a gentler introduction socially than being thrown into a new intake at a state school.

It does mean a second move at 13, but you will be better able to make the right move.

There were always a handful of new starters in DCs prep. Given lots left at the end of Yr6, friendship groups were fluid and new entrants seemed to settle in fast.

My daughter is in year 6 primary school but hopefully will be attending year 7 secondary school ( independent school ) if she passes the entrance exams .
We are in London and you can be extremely wealthy and pay the school fees in advance but that isn’t going to help a child if they cannot pass the maths and usually english entrance exam.

The question is what you're planning to do at 13. If you're staying private then you can still find plenty of schools with a Year 9 intake (though Year 7 is getting increasingly common). But if you want to go back into the state system, then you'll have missed the Year 7 entry point and you'll be reliant on finding an in year space. This might be hard at a popular school. Plus, your son will only be one of a handful of starters - perhaps the only one - so will have to break into existing friendship groups. Just something to consider.

Sounds a good idea, but I would consider long term if you could afford to keep him there? As building friendships, settling it etc - he might not want to leave?

Are you in a middle school area? If so then possibly. If you are in an area where kids start secondary in year 7 and you want him to do year 9-11 in state school then I would start him then. There will be loads of kids who don't know anyone. In year 7 they have their hands held for the first term. There is lots of recapping what they should have learnt in year 6.

Joining in year 9 when everyone else joined in year 7 is much much harder.

If your intention is for him to go to state secondary school after the prep school, I would think that starting a secondary school in year nine - when all the other kids have been there for two years, getting to know the teachers and how the school works and building up their friendship groups - would be much, much harder than just going straight in at year seven.

What do you plan to do at year 9? State secondary schools intake at year 7 so you would be relying on an occasional place coming up at the right time. Independent schools are usually selective at year 9 , often pretest in year 6 or 7, so he may be lagging being ready to sit it. Also you need to choose a school based on if you need him to take CE for a future private school, not all preps now offer it of they feed local day schools with their own entrance exam.

Also, be aware that the large majority of kids in Year 7 and 8 at preps will be going to private senior schools (the ones going to state will have left in Year 6). It might be hard for him if all the new prep school friends he's made are going off to different secondaries (and different types of secondaries) than him.

Completely depends on where you want him to go next. We are in a middle school area, both state and private options start in Y9 so two years at prep first would help. If you are aiming for an independent boys' school they will also have a Y9 entry, so again, two years of prep would be useful. If you're aiming for state secondary starting at Y7 I'd go straight for that, when everyone's starting together and is new at the same time.

So much to unpack here OP.

It depends on what you want to do afterwards at 13+. If private, a lot of schools take that entrance exam at the same time as 11+.

Maybe saying the area you are looking at for future schools would help. Would you be based in London? Are you talking day schools only for the future?

If you are relocating this September, then you may struggle to find a suitable school for your DS, depending on where you are relocating too ofcourse.

If London I would not worry too much about some of the points made above.

Family movement tends to be out of London both for private and state, so occasional places do come up. The prep school, whilst supporting him, will be able to assess him and thus give you clear guidance on the sort of schools form the best fit. If an occasional place does come up, a good reference from a known prep school will put you at the front of the queue, ahead of those who are, say, being guided by relocation agents. In terms of schools London prep school kids scatter to the four winds. However by 13 they have a bus pass, google maps, and social media and probably take part in out of school sport, music or drama, so have no problem keeping up with old friends.

Depending on where you come from there can be quite a lot of academic adaptation. To put him in an environment where he can be helped get up to speed is a good idea.

Thank you so much for all the advice so far. We are coming from the States so there will definitely be a lot of academic adaptation (they don't even write in cursive here!) and with his shy temperament a smaller environment is definitely appealing.
With regards to long-term plans, I'm not going to lie: we don't know! We may have to leave the UK again after a year, or we may find that the area we're moving to doesn't suit for one reason or another. Of course, if the kids are all deliriously happy we would do whatever we could to stay put but work may dictate a future move.
I'm having many, many sleepless nights over this. We have to commit to a rental this week as our move date is imminent and I'm so worried about messing up the schools piece for DS1.
I went to secondary in the UK and I remember finding it very intimidating, even though I matriculated with some friends from junior school. He won't know a soul, and will be 'behind' academically. I'm a huge state school advocate, having only been state schooled myself, but I suppose if we have to commit to keeping DS1 in private then we'll have to find a way to make it work.
This will get complicated when DCs 2 and 3 reach secondary age (they're going into years 4 and 1 in September) as multiple school fees will definitely be a challenge.

So much to think about, I really wish someone could tell me the right thing to do! Poor DS1 REALLY needs this move to be a positive one, he and his siblings have been out of school for 14 months now and he's struggled a lot with the isolation and lack of proper instruction.

It's not a bad plan but given that you say you may leave the uk again after a year or two, maybe an international school or even American-style school (of which there are a few in the uk) might be better?

Do be aware that many private schools that intake for y9 actually start their admissions process in y6 so you may need to at least get on the radar of target schools you may choose if you do stay in the uk.

Kiho, yes for very academic schools, but occasional places will come up, and indeed I have seen cases where the very selective schools will look at a genuine academic high flier if a trusted prep school head were giving a strong recommendation.

Mine were at Newton Prep, near the US Embassy, albeit a long time ago. The current head is well regarded. DS stayed until 13, and the situation then, and I don’t see why it would change, was that Yrs 7 & 8 were small and an effective split between the more academic who were heading off to 13+ schools including Eton, Westminster etc, and others including new pupils from overseas or who had failed to get a private secondary place at 11+, and those who were either headed for boarding or for other reasons wanted to delay the change. (The parents of one American girl expected a move overseas within a couple of years.)

It worked well. DS enjoyed having the responsibility of being at the top of the school, helping out with lower school sports days etc, and being part of a small, bonded cohort. Boys at 11 vary a lot. DS was quiet and studious unlike some of his peers in Yr 6 who had clearly outgrown the school and needed to move on.

Schools like Newton are very used to the adaptation. Two years in a good prep should mean that he will be more than up to speed in most systems. As a renter and you realise you are staying on and want state, you simply move home after a year so you are living practically next door to your preferred secondary, and so first in the queue for a place.

As I said, my kids are now at University, indeed DS is in the States. However we knew a lot of expats, both through school, and through my daughters sport. Some of your countrywomen started their focus on College entry at a very early stage., and would have given Manhattan tiger moms a run for their money. Most others were more relaxed. Do PM me if you have any London questions.

I wouldn't stress about cursive writing - as far as I'm aware the kids do it in junior school for the SATs and then are free at secondary school to write how they like as long as it's neat and tidy and legible. (My son is y8). There are also many kids who know no one at secondary. Even the ones who do know people are usually split from most of their group.

I would think your son will cope fine - but maybe you could use the money to employ a tutor or two twice a week to pick up any gaps he finds for the first couple of months. (But honestly i said it before - the school will recap so much it won't be an issues for him).

You have to remember with large comprehensives (3000 at my son's school) - the range of abilities is huge and the schools are used to dealing with mixed abilities.

As far as the size goes - most kids come from regular sized primary schools. So the larger schools have different ways of making it less scary for the children - some have separate areas for different years, some have vertical tutor groups so that kids mix with different years (although I think Covid regulations and the 'bubbles' have changed that in some schools), some have houses. The most important bit is that you will need to get him a school place for September baring in mind all the offers have gone out already.