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Original poster

SW London/Surrey private schools for anxious/possible ADHD boy

23 replies

hedwigshandbag · 31/03/2021 15:55

Hi

Looking for tips re small nurturing inclusive kind of vibe secondary school for DS, currently y5. He is very happy at his current primary, there are question marks over ASD/ADHD due to focus issues over school, and we are in the process of having him assessed. He's average ability for literacy, below expected for maths, and I do wonder whether he might have dyscalculia. He's quite an anxious child, happy in his own surroundings but hasn't really found any co-curricular activity that floats his boat (apart from fortnite Hmm); I do worry about his future mental health as leaving the comfort blanket of primary will be a big shock for him. He has had 1 or 2 good friends over the years but unfortunately for him they've moved out ☹️ so he had become a bit of a loner. I do worry that he might be an easy target for more alpha kids at secondary.

I don't feel he would thrive in a big state secondary as he really needs support to keep him on track because of his inability to focus, so what I am after is smaller class sizes - therefore presumably private - with good SEN provision.

Ideally SW London or Surrey as we are also pondering a move a bit further out (currently in sw London). Need to be commutable to surbiton for eldest's school.

So far I've looked at
The Hall Wimbledon
Kew House
Ewell Castle
Hampton Court House

Any other suggestions?

Thank you!

OP posts:
xmouse · 31/03/2021 16:00

St James boys

Original poster
hedwigshandbag · 31/03/2021 16:29

Thank you so much for replying - I'll look into it. I did mean to say in my op that I was veering towards coed as I think that would suit ds better, he's a very gentle character and doesn't enjoy sport. But I'll take each school on its own merits. Thanks again.

OP posts:
ProfessorPootle · 31/03/2021 18:16

Canbury School in Kingston or Halliford in Shepperton.

ProfessorPootle · 31/03/2021 18:18

Radnor House, Twickenham

NetballHoop · 31/03/2021 20:24

One of my DS's went to Ewell Castle with aspergers, and the change from state primary to EC was unbelievable.

Winifredgoose · 31/03/2021 20:29

Netball hoop could you expand on your post about Ewell castle. I have a boy in year 5 v similar to the op's child, and am interested in Ewell Castle.

NetballHoop · 31/03/2021 20:55

@29Winifredgoose my DS moved there in year 4 after being ignored by the state school he was at. I won't go into the details in public but we moved him in desperation.

Halfway through his first term at Ewell we were told the class would be doing a spoken presentation to the whole school and that everyone in his class would stand up and speak for a few minutes. I panicked and called the school to say that there was no way he would do that, and he really would not have done that at his previous school.

He did it and I am still amazed to this day that he did. He would have drowned at the state school his siblings thrived at.

It's worth saying that Ewell IS a mainstream school that happens to do well at helping those who need a bit more. It's not a special needs school.

alpacastacker · 31/03/2021 20:57

Kingswood House in Epsom would be worth a look.

NetballHoop · 31/03/2021 21:04

@alpacastacker

Kingswood House in Epsom would be worth a look.
I agree. For us though the continuity from primary all the way to 6th form at (almost) the same site was important.
imouse13 · 31/03/2021 23:45

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Ilovechoc12 · 01/04/2021 06:18

If you do get him diagnosed with ADHD (even go private nhs too long to wait) and get the correct medication the focus change is massive! I’d put all my energy in trying to get him diagnosed then look at schools (potentially) ....
you can apply ECHP (yourself) and hopefully he could get more support at the current school for some 1-2-1

Even private schools you are still expected to keep up.... (we are having the same issue focus / “it’s boring” but in a private school with adhd)
Good luck x

SailingBuddy · 01/04/2021 07:07

I don’t have direct experience of it, but Claremont Fan Court has a lovely reputation for being a good and gentle school.

Original poster
hedwigshandbag · 01/04/2021 22:51

Huge thanks to all who've posted. Lots to consider. I have actually looked round Radnor house before when looking for my current y7 dc - it wasn't right for them but at the time I did think perfect for my DS. But I know it's become more selective of late - as has Claremont - and having gone through it already with a fairly robust older one I do wonder how ds would get on with the whole process.

Anyway, how we broach that is for us to work out! Thanks again for input all 🙌

OP posts:
ricosuave · 01/04/2021 23:01

I'm not sure if you were thinking is specialist, but my DS is similar to yours and is at More House in Farnham, he gets train from Farnham to Surbiton a few times a week.

Epwell · 05/04/2021 10:22

Downsend is a very lovely supportive school. Second recommendation for Kingswood House as well.

Corblimbea · 05/04/2021 17:59

Kingswood is great and is going co-Ed this year. Would be well suited to additional learning needs. Ewell Castle is also great. What about The Cedars in Croydon?

SpLDLSA · 11/04/2021 10:18

@Ilovechoc12

If you do get him diagnosed with ADHD (even go private nhs too long to wait) and get the correct medication the focus change is massive! I’d put all my energy in trying to get him diagnosed then look at schools (potentially) .... you can apply ECHP (yourself) and hopefully he could get more support at the current school for some 1-2-1

Even private schools you are still expected to keep up.... (we are having the same issue focus / “it’s boring” but in a private school with adhd)
Good luck x

Just a thought as it is my area of work ... check Special needs jungle website, very good information.

I can tell you right now that an ADHD even an ADS diagnose is not guarantee for an EHCP at all. You do need to get him assessed, but please be aware that the diagnose might cost you a placement in some independent schools. They are not obliged to take your child at all and you will lose a case if you decide to go to court, discrimination is not a valid argument with independent schools as they can prove in so many ways that the school is not the right fit for your child.

Yes, you can request and EHCP, normal time to get this through is a year to a year and a half, except in extreme cases with your GP or school behind you.

There are some ASD private schools in Surrey that have very good reputation. I heard Kingswood is a good place for children on the spectrum.

SEN provision is drastically different from junior to senior in states schools, so do bare that in mind.

I would say get the diagnose to see how you can best support your child yourself (through professionals), but as llovechoc12 said, you child will be expected to keep up with the school.

SpLDLSA · 11/04/2021 10:26

@SailingBuddy

I don’t have direct experience of it, but Claremont Fan Court has a lovely reputation for being a good and gentle school.
Claremont Fan Court is changing quite drastically and SEN children are not necessarily welcomed or rather said, best fit for them.

CFC is becoming more selective, this year, it was a tough one to get in, and apparently the Headmaster did say that they didn't accept a child with SEN for this coming year. I wasn't there, so it is hearsay. 400+ applications for 120 places, but I am not sure how many of these 120 were already taken by their own Prep students. so there were not that many placements available and the process was long.

I do realise that not many parents want to go down the road of a specialist school, but there are some good independent schools who will be a better fit for a child with ASD/ADHD if it is confirmed.

I also heard that More House is very good, so worth having a look.

Best of luck.

Original poster
hedwigshandbag · 11/04/2021 10:40

Hi
Thank you very much. We have a private assessment end of the month - I am not expecting an EHCP to come out of it - more to know how to help him and get him to the right school for him.
I really like the look of Kingswood so will be exploring that further along with more house.
Thanks again for all input.

OP posts:
BeaglesAbout · 11/06/2021 13:01

Have you looked at St James, Ashford (TW15)?

A very different offering indeed but the parents love it - very inclusive.

blackberryandapple · 03/07/2021 06:52

Hall School Wimbledon could be a good choice. Not really specialist support, but small and nurturing. The kids have fun and the teachers are kind.

eeward · 29/10/2021 07:48

St James seems to be veering a little away from sen. My son was turned down at St James and their response was they onycater for mild SEN, dyslexia. I think the head wants to veer away from the SEN they have been inclusive before. I went to the Open and the head said our results cant be compared with other selective schools because we have a lot of SEN children.

In my view that could be interpreted that an SEN child will not get good exam results or that maybe they are not skilled enough to support SEN children to get good exam results. A little patronising of SEN children in my view and I was surprised to hear it. I read a magazine interview that said the Head was concerned their school was becoming known for SEN so I would not be surprised that they will pick and choose their SEN cohort, and may become more selective over time

Fire20 · 28/02/2024 22:07

@hedwigshandbag conscious this is an old post but wondering where you ended up sending your son to and how he is getting on!

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