Bad press for Eton, St Paul's School and Latymer Upper

[Siblingrivalries]

The Telegraph is carrying a horrible story about “Eton College, St Paul's School in Barnes and Latymer Upper School” having a culture of sexual assault.

St Paul’s of course has been through this before and is now paying compensation after tutors were found guilty.

This seems to involve pupils and the allegations were posted on Instagram. No doubt more will come out in time.

Would you consider sending your child to these schools?

Never. Would you?

Don’t have the money, but even if I did, absolutely not. They’re not healthy.

No, not with serious allegations like that being made.

When I was at a girls' boarding school many years ago, the Etonians were always pretty abusive to us - marks out of 10 when we went to dances were just the tip of the iceberg. I didn't come across boys from the others mentioned but Eton comes as no surprise. And no, I decided before I had children that I wouldn't send them to the kind of school I went to despite it being one of the top academically.

Actually I'm just reading it and it doesn't mention Eton at all. Best to be accurate when quoting these things. Eton gets so much shit at the best of times. As well as mentioning a few big name private schools - to grab attention presumably - it says and State Secondary schools and grammar schools. So basically ALL schools! It's a society problem not a public school problem. And yes I would.

Oh my apologies you're reading the Telegraph. I'm reading the Times which makes no mention of Eton. Still it's all schools. I'm fed up with the constant public school bashing.

@Legoninjago1 I actually went to the sites to read and Eton is mentioned a lot. As is Latymer (the most mentioned) and St Paul’s. Edinburgh Uni also features prominently.

@KaptainKaveman No way. I know this happens at many schools to a greater or lesser extent but I read the sites, Latymer is mentioned hundreds of times. St Paul’s are still paying compensation (out of present parents’ fees) to ex pupils for five decades of abuse by tutors (now imprisoned). Why weren’t they closed down?

(Have namechanged for this, but I really do not have an axe to grind.)

I haven't read the Telegraph article, but have read the ToL. This is a subject that needs light and air, and these pupils must be heard. However, as it seems that this is prevalent in all types of school across the country, and our children have to be educated, my view at the moment is that now is the safest time to send your child to one of the named schools, as they will be all over this, and I should like to hear what the named (and unnamed) schools and education authorities have to say.

@noaxetogrind I agree except for St Paul’s. They had fifty years of abuse - FIFTY YEARS - and it seems the culture is still there (with the pupils). A St Paul’s boy was convicted and went to jail about five years ago so it’s not as if the school didn’t know it was going on with pupils as well.

They were named and are still getting complaints. I have no axe to grind either.

I don’t know if I am allowed to put a link but it’s easy to Google.

“This week (January 13) a landmark report was released into more than 50 years of neglect and abuse committed by staff at St Paul's independent boy's school in Barnes.

In a story first broken by The Times newspaper in 2014, the school was named as one of 130 across the UK where pupils had been physically and often sexually abused by staff for generations.”

(This from 2020.)

Why don’t they name the 130 other schools?

Are they named anywhere?

People are paying thousands for their children to go to these places. They need to have the information.

Also Latymer with so many complaints (the majority by far on that site). What are they going to do, expel them all?

Tbh, it probably happens in all schools, it's just that female pupils at these particular schools have the knowledge, confidence, and platform to speak up on it (and the media will listen).

@user2021Yes I think there is a culture of sexual abuse in many schools but some of these schools have been named over and over for rape. I hope to god rape doesn’t happen in every school.

Eton and St Paul’s are boys schools. Not sure about Latymer.

Latymer is mixed but most of the problems seem to take place in parties out of school. It is totally not confined to the private schools but as a poster above says, the media isn't going to listen to the girls at the 'bog standard comp' down the road. It's as if they don't deserve the same respect.
I have children at one of the schools mentioned. The school is horrified, has been in constant contact with alumi, parents and pupils and I have complete faith in their handling of it all. Whilst obviously not good for the schools to be in the limelight it can only be a good thing if it leads to more openness about things that have been going on among teenagers everywhere for years, now with the added problems of mobile phones etc.

I have a DS at LUS, who has been duly interrogated this morning over all this... Under interrogation he showed me a whatsapp group, which he is part of, with his LUS friends. One of these friends was sharing a screenshot of a conversation between people from a sport team (outside of LUS), who were comparing 'fake' testimonials on the everyoneswelcome page, and rating them on the "most hilarious".

Not only does this type of behaviour do massive damage to all the schools concerned, it also clouds the 'real' posts from those who have been affected.

It also highlights that these sort of websites and social media pages don't show the true picture of what is going on, sadly they can be manipulated, and heavily distorted.

Clearly, from what i've seen today, on just ONE whatsapp group, is that all one needs is a keyboard and a grudge, and then, before you know it, you can tell everyone you've sexually assaulted - and get your own back for those grades you didn't get.

There are people out there that need help, that have been victims, and although this method will rightly raise awareness, which it has. It is also short sighted in that the mental health of those not caught up in it, which will be 99.9% of students at a school, plus staff and parents, etc. will be damaged. My son for one is distraught that the school he loves and is proud of, will now not be known for the educational experience he has received, but for this website - a vast majority of which I have seen first hand this morning, to be fake.

I'm sure these schools, Latymer included, will deal with the card they have been dealt as well as they can. I am also confident that they will hunt down anyone that has been a victim and needs help, to make sure they get it.

Agree with @WarrenBird about fake posts and the victims being lost in them. One can't see the wood for the trees.

There are also wider questions here, such as the role of parenting in a child's education.

Education has gone from simply being the 'academic development" of young people, to everything from sex education, social education, life skills, to morality, etc. etc". Some (some more than others it seems!), seem to expect teachers to do all of that for them.

I have a stepson who left Latymer in 2020, and during the last 4 years I have been to no less than 6 events that were put on by the Deputy Head, just for parents, about sexual relations, drugs, alcohol, parties, a telling-off about parties going on and mental health. Alongside these we got letters, news, emails, etc. I have also been to 2 other events put on by outside speakers at LUS (attended by LUS and another school's parents) about drugs, parties and making right choices. They were run by a parent (not LUS) who now runs a charity promoting good-choices after her daughter was a victim.

I know that all of these events were also given to the kids.

AND you know what...... at each and every event i went to, I saw the same parent faces there each time, and despite clearly having the seating capacity, I saw that at least 50% of parents never went.... to any of them!

Schools must be held accountable for mistakes and failures, but when you successive inspections on your processes, policies and delivery and constantly communicate to parents about these issues, then what more can a school do?

Also, importantly most of the instagram posts i read this morning were reporting things that have happened outside of all these schools, not in. Who is supervising these parties? most of the kids aren't old enough to be drinking, most should be able to get into a club or pub, where are the parents when all these assaults are going on?

I think society and parenting as a whole needs to be addressed, specifically the london-elite club, and we need to stop mud flinging at schools and work with them to try and change these types of behaviours.

I feel really sorry for the victims here, who have slipped through the net, its really sad, yet I also feel sorry for teachers who clearly work so hard to do so much for us and our kids these days.

this is the website the telegraph refers to, warning it makes very unpleasant reading. Eton is mentioned in it. www.everyonesinvited.uk/survivor-testimonies

@WarrenBird Why would so many kids hold such a grudge against their school

Also, how can you know "first hand" that any of the posts are fake?

One of these friends was sharing a screenshot of a conversation between people from a sport team (outside of LUS), who were comparing 'fake' testimonials on the everyoneswelcome page, and rating them on the "most hilarious".

How do you or
they know they were fake?

yes very strange to comment that the girls are lying. I think @WarrenBird you should be very careful about making those accusations. However I know the police and H&F council are now involved, so perhaps wait for the report first.

I don’t know whether posts are fake or not but it wouldn’t take many kids who hold a grudge - they can post multiple times. There was a state school nearby that suddenly had loads of really bad google reviews appear all saying very similar things.

I think it's very dangerous to just assume posts are fake or from students who hold grudges against their schools. No pupil I know would make up anything against their school simply because they didn't get the grades! Very dangerous and worrying attitude. And I would be very concerned about that Boys' WhatsApp group at LU.

My understanding from a LUS parent is the girls at that school are good at calling out injustices and bad behaviour. It's the first I've heard locally that the girls are lying.

@WarrenBird Your son knew about this site already? Had he told anyone his school was mentioned? Had he told anyone at school that he thinks some stories are fake?

@XelaM
It’s also very dangerous to assume they are all true on face value. You need a balanced approach. Otherwise it becomes a witch hunt and Innocent people will get caught up in it.

Re the whatsapp group - I believe the PP was saying that these boys were posting the fake testimonials themselves, as a completion, to see who could post the most ‘hilarious’. It’s very clear, and I’ve read multiple reports of this elsewhere, that a number of the posts are fake and done out of either malice or simple immaturity.

Don’t get me wrong, the number of posts is shocking, and I hope every victim is helped, but clearly not very post is genuine.

@gatewaysands, I work for a council in ‘adult services’, most of these reports seem to be historical and most down outside of school, where parents have sole responsibility for their children. Additionally, if no victim wants to come forward and make a allegation, then following up on anonymous posts is near impossible, I’ve been involved in something similar before. Also if a organisation, in this case these schools, are following process, dealing with everything reported to them in the correct way and have open lines of communication with the LADO in their area, then they will be seen to have been ‘doing their bit correctly’.

Sadly it’s the wider issue that needs to be strongly addressed here. Which is the underlying social issues at play across society and our young people.