5 year old Loss of Confidence

[doobydoo]

Anyone elses 5 year old lost confidence after starting school?

Please...has anyone experienced this with their child?

I haven't noticed this with mine. In what way has your child lost their confidence, doobydoo?

Hi again
Just seems to be saying he can't do things-really simple stuff like stacking his games up.
He has always been confident and academically he was able to write at 21/2 and could tell the time when he was nearly 4.I have been surprised as he has always wanted to learn and i have found this knackering to be honest(he can get a bee in his bonnet and is a perfectionist-like his dad!)
Now though he seems to overcomplicate stuff and whinge.Maybe he is just tired?!

He sounds very bright. Have you spoken to his teacher about him?

Did he go to nursery? Starting school may have been a shock to the system - my very bright dd was fine in terms of confidence (she started school in September), but behaviourally went downhill quickly and also had nightmares for the first two weeks.
I think they respond in different ways to being in a large group of new people, the different discipline and teaching styles, the stricter timetable (even if they've been to nursery). Agree with Avalon - speak to teacher. Could the school be teaching in a way that has slowed him down, or perhaps he feels that he should slow down? I've read about gifted children, for instance, who realise they are different when they go to school and try to conform from an early age by not being seen to achieve to their full potential.

I would approach his teacher and see if she canm see any reason for it. Perhaps being a perfectionist isn't really rated in the classroom. As far as I can tell Reception is about exploration and learning about the school environment and expected behaviour as much as academics. He may therefore be somewhat disillusioned if the teacher isn't giving credit for right and wrong answers, but emphasising self expression and effort, and perhaps feels a little undervalued for what he can do.

I'm not sure I've explained what I mean very well but, to offer an example, ds has just entered the equivalent of year 2. He had hitherto had no formal spellings to learn and expectations were pretty flexible but he had learnt about full stops, capitals, commas and so on. He was now expected to write using free writing, to just write as they hear rather than look up words for accurate spelling and not be overly concerned about grammar and punctuation, the idea being to get ideas flowing and words down on the page. It has taken him half a term so far to get this concept and to worry less about the rest. This week his teacher did make a positive comment about his use of capitals and full stops so he felt really good about his work.

Hope you manage to resolve this with the teacher.

Thankyou for your replies.
He has never been to school before(except for 1 week in ireland!).
He is in Infant2 and is the youngest in the class.
It is a private school as we felt smaller classes etc would be more beneficial.
My dh thinks he is tired and is also used to finding stuff easy and forging ahead at his own pace at home.Like one of you mentioned he has to get used to the structure-being told what to do etc.
The others in class have all been together since before reception which he has obviously skipped dh tthinks he is sussing it all out and will eventually be ok.
I think i will see how he gets on this next part of the term.
At parents evening teacher said he was well liked,which i think is a good sign as i was worried about him standing in a corner on his own.
Thanks again-the trials and tribs of parenthood eh?

LIZS we have always placed more emphasis on the content/free flow of ideas rather than the exact right way of forming letters etc and i wonder if as helsy says he is finding it hard to write the way they want him too and use his imagination.
Good points thanks

My ds2 did a similar sort of thing when he went in to reception. I think in the end the explanation was the complete emotional overload of the whole thing especially the politics of making new friends and finding people to play with during the long lunch break. I (being a teacher) overestimated the effect the classroom/ educational side of things was having and totally underestimated the massive emotional stress of the social side. 1 year later what goes on at lunchtime still has a massive effect on his day and makes the difference between a good day or bad and how he behaves at home. The classroom periods are just little moments of respite between the bits that matter to him. Could this be the same sort of thing that's making your ds seek the security of an apparent backwards step to relying on you to help him do what he can really do himself?

Dear doobydoo
I really know where you are coming from and how you are feeling. Had my son at pre-prep from early age, youngest in class (born August) and watched him change and lose confidence and self esteem. School said he was quiet, but I found out he really wasn't happy. Almost convinced he had something wrong, saw educational psycologist (could kick myself now) she almost asked me why i was there and told me he was simply imature and not ready for any pressure. I changed schools. I took her advice and asked for him to repeat year 1
I now have a completely different child he is 9 years old and has made unbelievable progress. He will walk into a room full of strangers and introduce himself, academically he is doing so well and he truly believes he can do anything. His school set him harder challenges than some of the children, as with small classes they are able to do this.Some boys who are born July, August are so much less mature than their peers and this
can have an enormous effect on them. Talk to the teachers but go with your gut instincts.

Good Luck
Softie

Doobydo
Forgot to mention son has very high IQ, was told very bright children will shut off, or become confused by what appears to be very simple things that they were fine with 6 months previously. It is their way of coping.

Doobydoo
As I only have the one child I had no siblings to compare my son to and really didn't know what to expect of him and what todays expectations are. The assessment was good in that it told me a lot about his capabilities and where he was in the scheme of things ie IQ, reading age, memory retention etc. As I mentioned, the school he was at was a pre prep for common entrance exams at 7yrs so the pressure was on. Perhaps I am a bit cynical but I do prefer to get an unbiased opinion, as no matter how you dress them up, private schools are a business.
On reflection I do feel that I was perhaps a little hasty in assuming that maybe there was something wrong and immediately getting him assessed, however,it was quite enlightning and very reassuring.
It also is still early days, I'm assuming he started in Sept. Chances are he will just take a while to settle and you will look back and wonder what the fuss was about.
good luck