Mid-year move to an independent

[Adelyra]

After weeks of reflection, we've made our minds up and have now chosen a school. Our child is in reception.

We want to move him for the start of the spring term. He's not unhappy where he is and he has a couple of mates so he may not rejoice at the news. We're relatively new to the area so this will be his 4th setting in 12 months (nursery - house move&Lockdown 1 - new nursery, reception at local village school, and now independent school).

Did you move your child/ren mid-year? Any tips?

Sounds like a lot of moving - if he’s not unhappy what is your motivation?

There is generally a fair amount of movement in independent schools so children are pretty used to welcoming new children throughout the year if our school is anything to go by. I would make sure you are committed to it though as there has been a lot of moves already for him.

Like PP said, I'd do it quickly as he's moved a lot and you don't want him to form stronger bonds where he is. Why are you moving him to independent? Both my DC attend a independent school in the EYFS years (pre school and reception) and for the reception children they are quite settled but there will very likely be a new cohort of kids in yr 1.

He is not unhappy but he isn't happy either.

We had always thought we would send him to an independent and then we ended moving opposite an Ofsted outstanding state primary. So we thought we ought to enrol our DS here because he would walk to school and make local friends. However it seems outstanding by name only.

DS comes home black and blue, 2 x incidences of head bumps went unrecorded, he had a black eye one afternoon and I had to chase the teacher for an explanation.

There is one very angry child who constantly punches, throws things at or even bites my DS. A few incidences were unknown to the team.

The communication is appalling, and I think possibly this is my biggest issue with current school.

Since my child is not an angel, he also follows his angriest friend's lead and has been disrupting classes when bored or unable to manage his emotions.

He almost never wants to go to school, often says "my friend X was very angry today and I was scared.", "so-and-so threw a toy at my head" or worse we have picked him up completely silent and subdued (i.e. super sad). Every morning he asks us "Is it a school day today?"

I think he will be a calmer, happier child in a calmer, better resourced school with more sports on offer. He's an only and we can afford the fees so that's our thinking behind moving him.

One of his previous moves was to safeguard him (everyone else also pulled out their child.). One could say we shouldn't have sent him to nursery post Covid but he is an only, we have no family in the UK and we weren't allowed to socialise so we know barely anyone in our new community. He absolutely loved that pre-school and would ask to go on Sundays too.

We are looking at moving him for January so he has a fresh start ASAP and he can be settled there for 8 long years.

Hi OP, that does sound quite unsettled for him but rest assured, my DC has come home with one bite, countless head injuries and reports of fall outs at a high performing independent school! Just wanted to manage your expectations on that point!

Ds was at village primary and we moved him in march (yr2) to his brother's independent school. He only got 3 weeks prior to lockdown.. he then had a term of homeschooling with 3 weeks back at school. End of sept (after 3 wks school) the school sent parents an email to say they are phasing out boys. WTF! Predictably half of the boys left at half term and over Xmas so we have decided to move him and he starts a new school in January. It will be his 3rd school in 12 months. I feel v sad for him but he's a chirpy chap and luckily makes friends easily. Life can be tough sometimes.

I should add our son is very happy where he is bit he won't be when he goes to school and finds there are 6 boys and 100 girls. He likes girls but it just wouldn't work for him..

@Adelyra as you are asking for tips on how to move him. Just keep it simple and say “you’re going to a lovely new school”. He’s very young and will accept that and adjust quite quickly.
My DS moved schools in yr 5. A bit older that your ds - I reassured him that he would stay in touch with her friends and it was for the best. He thought about it for a bit and was ok. I think we over analyse and agonise over the decisions we make for our children. At this age you can just say “we think this is the best school for you” the less you say the better and how you talk about the new school is very important. Be positive and be upbeat and don’t dwell on why he is moving. There might be some teething problems but the decision has been made and so it’s just how you handle telling your ds. Tell him and move onto something else.
It’s a bit like when they ask a random question like sex and you think oh no here we go it’s big long,awkward explanation again, keep it simple as if you tell them everything they aren’t listening and get bored quickly.
It becomes a much harder conversation when they get older. And also it’s harder to move them when they are older so well done for deciding to do it now.

OP, I work at an indy school, we have children joining all through the year, I think 7 are starting in the prep school after Christmas. They will be very used to children joining mid year, and will help him settle in quickly.