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Education

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Original poster

which school would YOU choose?

57 replies

pooodle · 19/10/2007 23:09

Hi all. Need advice for secondary, here are the options:

Preference A: School I teach at, c of e, 83% a-c, around 70 inc eng and maths. has 6th form, so around 1600 students. Lovely christian ethos, nice kids. Son wouldnt know any other kids there when he start, well he would, but they are girls he doesnt play with at school. Son not particulary religious. Average intelligence, fairly lazy boy!

Preference B: Local comp, just got outstanding at last ofsted, 45% special needs, (45%!), sons friends are mostly going there, gcse results around 50%, but not including english and maths (more like 30ish i think). School is just round corner from house we have just moved into, he is allowed to play out and has made lots of new friends who go/will be going. School is a "bit" chavvy, I did my first teacher training there and wasnt really impressed, but since then they have had the ofsted result. Around 650 kids. Son has tics sometimes, scrunches eyes, ocd type behaviour, though not too bad. No 6th form. Son wants to go to this school, best friend is going (bit of a scally, very working class (mum swears alot etc!)

If son does get preference A, do you think I would be wise to send him, it is the "best" school academically, but I dont want to make him miserable by moving away from his friends.

What would you do?

OP posts:

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 19/10/2007 23:11

School A...

No brainer, IMO.

Original poster

pooodle · 19/10/2007 23:21

really? but what about friends, do you think he will just settle? He doesnt want to go to school A cos his friends wont be there, his speech is terrible when he hangs around with them though! I dont want to be a snob, but i dont want him turning into an oik, but then i dont want him resenting me if he doesnt like the "middle class" school! He is a chav by heart, its a constant battle, he even has a baseball cap and he's only 11! His dad is a working class northener, where as I am a was working class/now semi middle class shandy drinking southerner i guess!

OP posts:

LadyMuck · 19/10/2007 23:25

He'll make new friends. School A is huge though, so I assume that you're looking at around 6 form entry. The form tutors will be working hard to make sure that the kids bond.

Tbh I'm slightly surprised that you need advice on this one given that you're at one of the schools and therefore have greater insights into it. Why would you not send your son there?

nappyaddict · 19/10/2007 23:27

has he visited both schools or has he not even given school a a second chance?

PeachesMcLean · 20/10/2007 00:02

I can appreciate how tricky this is. I've been thinking about this since you posted (all of 45 mins) and I don't know, so not sure how you can decide. But am verging towards A.

How far away is A? And does DS do stuff outside school locally?

1600 sounds fine to me. DS's future comp is 2000+. (by far largest in our region but has a good reputation)

PiusIX · 20/10/2007 00:26

tobysmumkent · 20/10/2007 00:36

Message withdrawn

shergar · 20/10/2007 11:01

School A for sure. He'll soon make new friends.

WorkingClassScum · 20/10/2007 11:48

School A since you know from experience. He can still play with friends from B at home. He will make friends at A. When I went to a large upper school I wasn't actually in any classes with people I'd been to middle school with!

lljkk · 20/10/2007 12:11

Guess I'll be in a minority of one in saying this -- I would let my DS choose,although I would also argue hard for School A, I would let the final decision be his.

Because my DS would be so angry and miserable if he were forced into a school he just didn't want to go to -- he would make our lives a misery, too. I know someone who talks repeatedly how she was sent to well-reputed private girl's secondary, but she wasn't actually academically inclined. After a few years of being miserable she was allowed to switch to a so-so secondary which she loved, felt she fitted in, made new friends, got to attend with neighbourhood and childhood friends she already had, got a more rounded view onlife and education. Lesson to learn: Better academic school not always best for every child.

ScaryScienceT · 20/10/2007 12:15

I would choose the school with the good academics.

saadia · 20/10/2007 12:39

I would also go for A. The fact that you did teacher training there (how long ago?) and weren't impressed is quite significant.

Fennel · 20/10/2007 12:44

School B. It's no fun going to a school where your parent teaches. Especially at secondary level.

ScaryScienceT · 20/10/2007 13:19

A school of 1600 - it won't be that impactful that mum is a teacher there.

My DD is moving into our senior school next year, and she is likely to be one of about 20 - 24 in her year group. There is a very high chance that I will teach her.

I've taught my DS at his prep school, and he found that an advantage rather than a disadvantage, for the most part.

castille · 20/10/2007 13:31

School A.

He'll make new friends and will probably work harder because of the more academic atmosphere. If he's naturally lazy, it doesn't sound like School B will do him any favours.

portonovo · 20/10/2007 14:53

I actually think either school would be fine, but you would obviously be happier with school A and you have more inside knowledge.

I don't think the fact you teach there is the end of the world at all, it would probably be better if you didn't but many kids won't even realise it in a school that big. Our school has 1750 pupils and many of the teachers have children there, and it doesn't seem to be a problem.

The friends thing - he really will make friends quickly. There will be such a big pool of potential new friends. In my experience so far (2 children at secondary school), most children don't stay in their old school groups very long, they mix and often move away from their old friends. My two don't mix with any of their old friends now.

I personally don't believe in letting the child choose, what child of age 9-10 (as they are when the decision is being made) can really make such a long-term decision or look at all the implications. Most express a preference because they liked the teacher showing them round on their visit, liked the school dinners better than at the other school, liked one particular subject class/building, don't want a green uniform or their 'best' friend is going to school X. Hardly the best of reasons!

Original poster

pooodle · 20/10/2007 19:35

Thanks for your replies. In response to your questions, school is around 8 miles away and he isnt doing clubs at mo, gives up easy! I am in my 4th year of teaching.

His personal tutor said that his daughter went to my school and they regretted it because she hated it, I have noticed lots of kids moping around on their own, but equally lots have friends. He would definetly get a better education at school a, but his choice is to go to school b. I agree that he is too young to choose (just turned 11), but then I dont want him to throw it in my face if he doesnt settle, but he is quite sociable, he should make new friends. He told me the local kids call the kds at this school "bible bashers", which he isnt too happy about as he likes to try and appear cool! When I tell him he has to go to the school if he gets a place, he says hes not going and i cant make him! He wants to join the police when he grows up, i dont think he is solicitor or doctor material, maybe I just shouldnt have too high expectations academically and just encourage him and let him go to his local? We all want the best for our children, but in this situation I dont know what is "best"!

OP posts:

olala · 20/10/2007 19:45

Preference A.

My kids school just got 'Good with outstanding features' in its Ofsted, and is diabolical. I no longer trust ofsted as far as I can throw them. And for secondary school - peers are so important, they will literally help form your child into an adult, and what type of adult he will be. ITs much harder to combat the negatives of school with positives at home when kids are 14/15/16 as they are so much more independent.

He won't be miserable - virtually everyone I know knew no one when they started secondary school and the friends he'll make there will last a lot longer than his primary school ones.

Hope thats helpful.

Anna8888 · 20/10/2007 19:49

It's perfectly OK to move a child from primary to secondary and not have any friends move with him/her. Happens all the time. Children survive and thrive, new friends are made. Choose the better school for your child.

Original poster

pooodle · 20/10/2007 19:50

yes it is! I agree with the ofsted comment. They are only in for 2 days, obiously school is on best behaviour and it really isnt long enough to rate a school, surely they would need to go for at least a month undercover to get a true picture!

And regarding being influenced by friends, again i agree, unfortunately his friends will drag him down not push him up.

A couple have commented it isnt a great idea for him to go to same school if parent is a teacher, there are a couple of kids at school the same, i hadnt noticed anything, does it really cause the kid grief?

OP posts:

olala · 20/10/2007 19:53

poooodle how interesting you agree re ofsted comment and are a teacher! I knew it. I bloody knew it was all a load of nonsense. It even commended our head. Who is drunk most of the time.

Original poster

pooodle · 20/10/2007 19:58

haha olala! Well its just my humble view, i have only been involved in one ofsted at last school and that was only to have lesson observed, but it does stand to reason that a few people cannot seriously judge the quality of a school from mooching around for a couple of days when school is on best behaviour, i dont see how you can get a true picture.
my last school got a good, only way i could see it being good if it was bulldozed!

OP posts:

olala · 20/10/2007 19:59

you probbaly taught at my kids school. It should be bulldozed. I'm getting them out of there ASAP!

Original poster

pooodle · 20/10/2007 20:05

This was inner city single sex boys, many mad as hatters, very ineffective SMT, i used to wonder why any parent would send their kid there, bullying/chav element was horrendous. put me off single sex education big time.

OP posts:

PSCMUM · 20/10/2007 20:07

ooo which one. go on. give us a clue. what city?

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