advice please on my 'weak average' daughter

[rosylizzie]

just been to parents evening! to fill you in this is my third child, 2 elder brothers flying at school, bright and at a level I would expect
dd is a late summer birthday and i feel has never lived up to her potential, i genuiniely feel she is bright but there is a big gap between her ability and what she produces at school
am trying not to be middle class parent here who cant accept her child is not as bright, i genuinely feel she is but is not fufilling her potential
the school are now offering supported reading and spellings programmes but not at a level where she merits discussion with senco
my question is is there any merit in me getting an ed psych to see her at this stage (6 years old and start of Y2) my husband has a very bright brother with dyslexia who underachieved massively at school) or do i just trust the school and go with them. we do have behaviour issues at home but not thank goodness at school and she is worrying me
thanks in advance for your words of wisdom!

my son is a august baby and it does take time to catch up. However, I don't think that an ed psch would hurt and would give you a clear idea of any problems the school needs to address. You should also find out how her ball skills are etc to see if there are any physical developmental delays.

You need to go with your gut feel. You know your daughter better than anyone else. You don't come across as a parent who can't accept her child isn't bright just a parent who wants to ensure that her dd achieves what she is capable of. There is no crime in that.

Your dd will only get once chance at education, she needs you and your dh to ensure that she is given the best you can give her.

you should go with your gut instinct and see an ed psych, definitely.

although I will say that most ed psychs would prefer her to be 7. see if you can get a recommendation of a good one (perhaps from the senco at your school) and call him/her up and see whether they would look at her now or want to wait until the summer.

Maybe the behavioral issues at home are because she is frustrated at school and is taking it out on the closest person too her who she knows will love her no matter how she behaves, and that's you!
Your Daughter sounds like me when I was at school. I am dyslecsic (you would have thought they would mame it somthing easier to spell!)
anyway my dyslecsia was descovered when I was 9 and didn't know all the letters of the alphabet I think or hope that schools nowadays would be more aware of any problems. I would like you to give your daughter a big hug from me, as It can be so frustrating to have difficulties no matter how slight especially when you have very intelegent brothers. I know how that feels. Get her all the help you can but also let her know that you will always be proud of her. Hope this helps

Schools often are aware of difficulties, but there is some reticence to diagnose dyslexia before 7, because very often children who are struggling at 6 have found that it all clicks into place at 7. There is a whole body of theory and research on child development that suggests that the European countries that delay starting formal education till 7 know what they're doing...

My niece is a November birthday. She was still really struggling with school work all through year 1. Right at the end of the summer term - so when she was more than 6 and a half - it came right for her. And she's now - 5 years later - clearly an academic high-flyer.

So - keep an eye on things, pay attention to your gut instinct - but may be worth biding your time re the ed psych.

P.S I think that schools are far to quick to put labels on Children. I'm sure you don't see your daughter as "weak average". Such terms can be very damaging to a young child. She needs to feel valued by the school.

I have an August born DS2 who has always under achieved in that he is quite bright but doesn't find academic work easy. He has a very clever elder brother (straight A/A*s with no noticeable effort). I think the best thing we have done for DS2, apart from constantly reinforcing that he is as good as his brother (fortunately he is a very good sportsman) has been to get him some one to one tutoring which has helped his understanding and concentration. Over the years various reasons have been considered for DS2's underachievement such as dyslexia, poor hearing and poor eye sight, but none of these were present. I think his major problem was that he was too young for his year and too much passed over his head! I would suggest that you might want to consider an independent school (if you aren't opposed to private education) as she might well progress in smaller classes with individual attention and a lot of reinforcement of what has been taught.

i wanted to point out my personal experience.

i was a very slow developer and at one point my mum said 'special school' was mentioned, but i'm fine, got geat exam results, a degree, am in a well paid highly skilled job. (sorry if that's all sounding boastful , just trying to point out that i turned out different to what people thought when i was young)sometimes kids are just a bit slow to develop. my son has been late in passing all his milestones but when he got to them he sped through them.

i agree with some of the others, be aware and watchful but remember she may just be a late starter as far as academic achievements go. possibly making an issue of it now will cause her to 'label' herself as an underachiever. maybe give it another year or so.

rosylizzie, please do read the following web page 'Should I have my child assessed?':

www.aowm73.dsl.pipex.com/dyslexics/should_I_have.htm

Oh, and I flew my intellectual milestones at 9, and by 12 was completely bog standard. By 16 a complete underacheiver.

She will catch up, you are a supportive parent.

thanks everyone for this
having thought about it over a few days i feel i am going to trust my instincts that my dd is not widely different in ability from her brothers but she is young and has strengths in areas they dont she is very creative. the scholl is putting her on a reading and spelling booster programme for the next 10 weeks so i will see the teacher after this and see where she is up to as well as giving her a bit extra at home
wish me luck!

Agree that you need to go with your gut feeling. My ds's dyslexia was not picked up on, even tho' I wrote in his reading record that he had reported the letters moving around on the page. Then when the ed pysch assessed him and diagnised him the senco didn't pass on the info to his class teachers. Your school might be more on the ball but don't expect that teachers automatically pick up on dyslexia. Also girls are less often diagnosed in primary.