Ludgrove School

[whattodowhattodowhatdoido]

I hope this thread doesn't become one about the pros and cons of boarding prep.

The in laws have offered to support with the fees for DS and DH is now pushing for us to move him to Ludgrove. We visited the school earlier in the year, pre covid, and I really couldn't fault it. Theres nothing to not love. DH went there so I understand why he wants that for our son but now we have to make the decision Im getting cold feet. He is currently at a small local prep which is ok but we know the school has financial issues. DS is fairly academic and very easy go lucky so I'm not too worried.

It will be hard to let him board and I think now i am scrutinising everything. My big thing now is that he will be very very detached from reality. Obviously you have to be somewhat comfortable to afford the small prep he attends now but Ludgrove is a different league. the fees are crazy and I know they dont offer much in terms of bursaries so its an extremely limited pool.

The school is very nice and supportive but i am worried about the kind of young man he will turn out to be an his world views etc.

Does anyone have an recent experience of the school at all?

How old is your son and does he want to board? I ask as the parent of a boarder myself, albeit a just turned 11 year old one and not at Ludgrove.

For us it works brilliantly and if anyone told me two years ago my child would be boarding then I would have said over my dead body. She was desperate to board, has always been very independent and is an exceptionally busy person - just right for boarding. However, I do think it would be a recipe for disaster for her younger sister who is much more of a home bird.

Ludgrove has, undoubtedly, a fabulous reputation and if your DH went there I can understand the appeal. I think there’s two things to consider here. Firstly, do you see your son going to one of those top boarding schools that most boys from Ludgrove will be heading to? I can imagine it would be quite hard for a boy to end up at a normal day school when all his friends are going elsewhere.

Secondly, does boarding work for EVERYONE in your family? Do speak up if you don’t think your son is ready. It could be a miserable time for both him and you if he’s not. It can also cause terrible tension between husband and wife if one party makes the decision and the other disagrees.

My friends son left there about five years ago and is turning into a very fine young man. Down to earth and humble but in a privileged way. Of course children who go there are in a sort of bubble surrounded by other rich children but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are out of touch with the real world.

If grandparents are footing the bill and you are all happy then I think it’s fine. You don’t say how old your son is, but if he’s still young then do think very carefully about whether it’s right for your family as opposed to being wowed by all it has to offer.

It's an interesting one OP. Firstly, i would grab the offer of help with fees with both hands.....assuming it's condition free of course.
Re the boarding, I am in a similar boat. Moving my boys from a lovely local prep to a prep very similar to Ludgrove in terms of fees and leavers destinations. However ours offers day, flexi and weekly as well as full boarding. I want the flexibility at the earlier stage. Later I'm happy if they want to board properly . I would say that I think Ludgrove's fortnightly model is possibly easier on the boys than weekly. I weekly boarded at that age and found it difficult to settle. Was better when I went fortinightly.
I wouldn't worry too much about being surrounded by wealth. At ours there is a pretty good mix. Many more working mums than I'd envisaged. Some have grandparents helping. Some just have the one child, so it's more manageable. And some are rich as creosus! But only the wannabes care! I'd think at Ludgrove there'll be relatively few 'first time buyers' so shouldn't be many flashy types. But I could be wrong.
It's more down to whether your DS is suited to boarding or not and for me, it's also whether you're willing and able to abort if he is miserable.
Hope you get some posters with first hand experience along soon.

@Zodlebud thank you for the reply. DS is 8 now and the plan is to start boarding next year at 9 in year 5. He is raring to go! We have an older daughter in year 10 who started boarding at age 13 and one also in University who also boarded from 13plus so DS has a fair idea plus DH has been enough time 'indoctrinating' him.

Him boarding will most definitely work for us as parents in terms of work commitment. Socially for him its hard to tell but its been brilliant for his sisters. I suppose I'm getting cold feet now because like you said as a mother i just cant see letting my 9 year old board. I suppose its more me than him really.

@Delta1

Ahhh glad you responded then. The help with fees is coming with no conditions at all and I wouldn't think twice about pulling him out if he wasnt happy for any reason.

I agree the fortnightly model should be easier on the boys and for us as we will see him often without disturbing his 'routine'. Apart from DH and a few of his friends I dont actually know any relatively young person who went there. I feel like I am giving up a certain part of my responsibility and want a little more reassurance as to how it will be done in my absence IYCWIM. fingers crossed a recent parent will come along.

@whattodowhattodowhatdoido - a mature nine year old, raring to do it, and it’s two weekly then it should be fine. Maybe it’s just because he’s your youngest that it’s a bit of a wrench?