Moving DC from a 2 tier to a 4 tier system - bit of a WWYD?

[Austereorange]

Would appreciate input. I’ll try to be comprehensive so not to drip feed.

Living in a city with a 2 tier school system. DS is in primary y5 and DD just started high school y7. DS primary is outstanding. DD High is Good. Results are okay, not great, it’s not in a great area and she’s finding fitting in quite hard although I do appreciate it’s early days.

The city we live in is rapidly declining. We were here for work which is irrelevant now as Covid has moved us both to permanent home working. I have no ties to the city (aside from school) and don’t like life here. My DH hates it. 10 miles away is a small market town. My parents and best friend (no DC) live there. It’s nearer DHs family also.

We want to move to this town but I can’t work out what to do with regards to schools. The new town has a three tier system unlike our two. So it does yr-y5 in primary, y6-y8 middle and y9+ in high. The options I seem to have are:

Leave DS in to finish y6, commuting him. He’d then join a local middle school in the new town (there are two) for y7 and y8 and move up to high school in y9. That part seems not ideal but other options are limited.

It’s DD that’s the issue. She’s a sensitive child and has had significant social issues with friends. I don’t want to throw her from the frying pan into the fire.

My two options would be:
Let her sit out y7 (commuting) and move her to a middle school in the new town for 1 year (Y8) then move up to high.
Or
Let her sit out y7 AND y8, commuting (will be doing this for DS anyway and the schools are side by side) then move her in y9 to the new local high. The issue with this is that by the end of y8 I think she would have finally settled and won’t want to move/it’ll be very upsetting.

I just don’t know which option is right. Does anyone have any thoughts on what may work best? Or stumbling blocks I’ve not considered? My biggest worry is DD who is not a happy child in school at the best of times.

Thanks

In your position I’d probably move them both now. Your DD might be unhappy when she moves school but she is already unhappy so I’d take a chance that moving would improve things.
Also by moving straight away they’ll have a better opportunity to make local friends.
My DC went through the three tier system. Slightly different age groups in our system. I found it to be a gentler system, especially the move to upper school as they were better able to deal with that at 13.

I think your first option is the worst of all worlds. Why not move her straight away rather than that?

With your DS, what’s the size of primary and middle schools? How many primaries feed into the middle? I’m trying to find out how many people he would know in the middle school form the primary.

We have moved schools twice and I would say there is no benefit to entering at the beginning of a non significant school year. Also, many primaries mix up their classes every few years. It is quite normal to make new friends every few years so I would be less cautious about moving them. You will find that if they make friends in one class in the new area then they can keep in touch with them. My DD was friends with someone for 2/3 of yr 4, then they were muddled, but now in yr 7 at different high schools they’re meeting up outside school again.

Also don’t underestimate the ‘will be leaving effect’. It’s upsetting for your child to know they are just waiting, and once other children know they are going at some point, they back away.

I really would just move them as soon as you can.

Thank you. I hadn’t considered the ‘leave now’ but maybe it’s better.

To answer; DS is in a primary of 250. In the new town he would know no-one in the middle he moved to in y7. There are two middle schools in the town and one high. My thought with letting him finish y6 out would be that he’d be finishing with everyone else as they go off to around 6 high schools locally so it’s everyone going off and he’s just going off to a different town?

Also worth noting the actual house move wouldn’t happen till about Easter 2021 so that would leave one term for DD. I guess I could move her immediately to a middle where the children have all only been there two terms, but I presume having all come from local primaries they will have already formed/built peer groups. I really do fear she will resent me for the whole moving thing even though she’s not happy; she can’t rationalise that.