Finding new prep school

[angrysquirrel73]

I've NC'd for this.. I will try to be brief..

Without going into details we need to find a new prep school for our son (they are modifying the school and will he will no longer be able to attend). We have done nothing, our child has done nothing - the school has decided... So my son and his friends will have to move on. We have some time to find a new school but some boys are leaving imminently so although I rather leave him there as long as possible (he is very happy and the school is very good) there will be a time when his friends are dwindling and he will no longer be happy.
So I need to start thinking about it now..
He is sociable, bright and enjoys sport. The current prep school ticked all our boxes. He is year 3. We know the 13+ school we would like him to go to so we need a school from year 3 to year 8.

We have visited 2 schools, each has pros and cons:
School 1
Pros - academically good and some of his friends will go there
Cons - it would be logistically difficult for us to get to (its 24 miles away - we live in the countryside)
School 2
Pros - lovely school, can get there, the children prefer this one when we toured them
Cons - its very small so I would fear it might close (we're now quite anxious about this with all schools) and its 50% more expensive

Both prep schools have sent children to the 13+ school of our choice though more regularly from the former.

The other schools near us are not very academic and the state schools are not good either (we've tried that already.. the best one would be a 30min drive).

Has anyone else had a similar situation? Any advice? My head is spinning..

TBH we are not keen on weekly boarding

Your problem is location essentially. You live very rurally so schools are small or far away neither of which you like. So your remaining option is to move.

PersephonePromotesEquanimity for context our village primary has a total of 65 pupils (over 7 years). Some years only have 4 pupils.

As MustWe says its a location issue. TBH whilst schooling is a PIA there are other benefits which we really love including a river flowing through our garden. We did live on the banks of the Thames in London but our property certainly didn't extend onto both sides!

I have asked school #1 about putting a bus on and school #2 about scholarships. As for travelling further afield to find larger prep schools school#2 is certainly not the smallest prep in the region, I have found one with only 120 pupils and one with 160 pupils. In the sticks the younger years tend to relatively small 7-20 and then more pupils pile in during years 5 to 7 and then the year may contain 20-40. I expect in the SE preps are full in all years?

Oh wow I can see your dilemma. However I would at least look into flexi boarding so you could have a break from the drives at least 3 days of the week.

I would seriously consider state school then, what is your local school like apart from small? My kids were in mixed age classes and it was fine.

Hmm ... I do envy you your location, but it seems clear that if you feel strongly about staying there you will inevitably have to compromise on something.

(And your area appears to have far too many tiny schools, whether state or private. How on earth are they all surviving?)

I can't think of an obvious answer ...

OP you must live in a flatter, drier bit of the country to me if you love having a river flow through the garden.

I suppose your school must know the neighbouring demographic and decided to ditch a couple of teaching posts/facilities for boys (I suppose that would be a couple of rugby pitches and games teacher).

I think I would rejoice at 'saving" £15k+/year in fees and fuel and put DS in the local school until 11+/year 6. Do not underestimate how useful it is for a child to have school friends a few minutes' away (especially if we go through another few months of schools having to shut).

Maybe it's time to roll up your sleeves and make a lot of political noise about consolidation of failing schools?

It's not as if this one mum banging on is going to change lots of failing little schools and even if she did help drive the agenda forward it wouldn't be in time to help her child. There is a huge amount of pushback to closing local schools and some villages
simply don't care if they are failing. They just want it local. That would one seriously uphill battle

@PersephonePromotesEquanimity this isn't very helpful. It's not going to solve an imminent problem and could get the OP hated in what sounds like a lovely village.
If she's planning for her grandkids to have one big school though, than great plan.

If you consider that none of the local state schools are an option, then go for Option 1 and move. You could consider staying at your present prep school until the move, I suppose, depending on how sure you would be of getting a place at Option 1 eventually. Option 2 sounds precarious.

Thank you foxesandsquirrels. I've already gone down that avenue. Initially I became a governor of the village school to try to turn the school around but found that it was all dominated by the chair of governors who was 'overly familiar' with the head teacher. None of the other governors were interested in change / rocking the boat. I lasted a year..
I also wrote to the council to point out how dire the performance of the 11 nearest schools to me and they kindly advised me to contact my school's head teacher!! ha ha ha.
So I feel we've totally done the state school route.
One of of our children is year 3 and one year 6. We think we can hang in where we are for tops 1 year. We feel they are too young for boarding even weekly boarding and the alternatives near to us are not any bigger than school #2.

For now I will continue to pursue options with schools #1 and #2.

If you live your house, and think it is your 'forever house', could you rent a house close to school 1 with/without renting out your current home?

If one is currently year 6, where is the year 9 school relative to your house/work/schools 1&2.

Apologies for the dodgy predictive text in previous post!

Given that you don't have to move schools immediately I would be looking to move house to somewhere closer to school #1, to make the commute there easier. School 1 does seem like a better fit but 3 hours driving each day on top of work is a lot to deal with.

Madcats idea sounds like a solution. Renting for a while near the school of your choice. Are either of you able to work from home?

I am guessing you have a school in mind for your children at 13+ which is why you aren’t considering finding an 11+ place for your current Y6 child? Might open up more options if it’s something you would consider (although you’d need to get your skates on for applications).

The senior school we like only starts at 13+, so no 11+ entry and no 11+ exam. The 13+ school is about 30mins from where we live.

@angrysquirrel73 Without knowing which school this is, if the numbers of boys in Y7 and 8 stay high enough, I would try and stick it out at the current school for the older one. If they offer flexi boarding then let him stay a night or two to take the pressure off two school runs.

You say they are too young for weekly boarding, and as a parent of a weekly boarder in Y7 I would be inclined to agree. My child is only doing it as she has always been terrifically independent and she begged us to. If your older son isn’t like that then it’s not right at the moment. BUT flexi boarding is literally like a sleepover. The kids love it - it’s all the fun with none of the commitment or reality of being there day after day. It also helps break them in very gently if boarding is something you might be considering at 13.

Also consider if the current school offers transportation home. Your son could have a key and let himself in - assuming he would probably only be home alone for half an hour or so before you got back from collecting number 2. A great number of children do this in the state sector. They are old enough to cope and it gives them some independence.

There’s something quite special about those last two years at prep for boys. Will it be quite the same at a new school for just two years? I know you must be fuming (I would be), but do consider all possibilities fully even if you don’t want to give them another penny!!!!

On that note you are probably in a strong position to negotiate a fee discount for the last two years. Those are not years they can probably fill with girls in the next few years. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

Good luck - I just don’t think there are any easy answers on this one.

Zodlebud you are quite right - I am still fuming!!
Many parents have already enlisted their sons at other schools and some are already moving at Half Term which is frighteningly fast. However due to our logistical challenges I am taking my time as I don't want to make any hasty decisions. And hopefully we have until Easter to move...

There is an option to leave the elder child at the current prep, which has a bus service and we could move the younger child to school #2. This is what my heart is telling me would be the best option. Whilst child#1 is keen to also move to school#2 I think educationally they may be best off where there are and where we 'know the system'. I fear changing for 2.5 years could prove disruptive.

It just feels like alot to sort out in a short period of time.. and you never know whether you made the right decision!

I'm going to speak to one of the school teachers who knows both of my children and see whether they can suggest a solution!