Nursery vs Childminder vs Nanny

[ScarMatty]

Thought I had found the perfect nursery for my son but having second thoughts for various reasons.

Some people are suggesting a childminder.

What are your views on a childminder vs nursery vs a nanny?

a childminder sounds great, but IMO would have fewer toys than a nursery and maybe wouldn't focus so much on EYFS stages

a nursery would have lots of equipment etc but maybe would focus less on the child specifically and just see the children generally

a nanny would be very responsive to a child's needs but wouldn't necessarily have the social interactions of the other settings

DS is 2, loves other children but is shy around them

I think there are a number of other considerations too - cost obviously but also things like what happens if the nanny/child minder is sick or on holiday? One of the reasons we went for a nursery was to avoid those kind of issues and provide continuity of setting. FWIW, DS is 13 months and started at a nursery last week. He's still settling in (has done three short days so far) but already all the staff know him, know his favourite toys/activities and some of his little ways. They're like that with all the children in the class too and they're very much seen as individuals and treated as such. I'm also amazed at how a couple of sessions at nursery have had an impact on DS - yesterday he was playing nicely with another baby which he's never done before and there are several other new things he's learnt to do which I think must be nursery related as they're things like sharing or joining in.

All have there positives and negatives but given that your son can be a bit shy around other children I'd say that either Nursery or Childminder would be a good idea.. especially Childminder as there will be more children of different ages but possibly not as overwhelming as a Nursery. By law they'll have a wide range of activities and facilities as they have to provide learning activities etc not just play all day. I think they'll be more flexible to your needs than a Nursery too.. I used to be a Nursery Supervisor but the child's interest and individuality is always important

It very much depends on the settings themselves. Some childminders operate in pairs or threes: with assistants, they operate as a cross between childminder and nursery.
At one inspection, I was told I was better equipped than any nursery she'd seen. However, equipment and toys are not everything. Much more important is that your child's care needs are fulfilled and a good nanny is just as competent. Before lockdown, some of them used to attend our playgroup.

Nurseries and childminders follow exactly the same EYFS; nannies do not, but often attend playgroups and do activities that are just as good.

It's a matter of preference and what suits your family best.

For a baby less than 1 I would say nanny, childminder then nursery is my order of preference. For a child 1-2 I would say childminder, nanny then nursery. After 2 it would depend on the child but I might prefer nursery full time if it was a good one. They're getting to the age where socialisation is really becoming important. Children are generally more confident to be in a group without needing as much 1-1 attention. So I'd probably look for a high quality, small nursery.

I can only really comment on childminders as this is the direction we took, I made a similar post to yours while we were trying to make the decision. We mainly chose our childminder because she was a mum ant the school I used to teach at and she just gave me a good vibe, plus a childminder is significantly cheaper than nursery. For us it was the right decision, DS is the littlest there are 19 months and loves watching the older children and joining in. She does a mixture of play and EYFS framework and does regular assessments.

However, I think what PP said about what you would do in the event of sickness etc is a major consideration. It works for me because I freelance and in a pinch can just catch up in the evening. My childminder also can't offer longer days, but I organise my time around the hours she has available. Most of my friends use a nursery for this reason and are just as happy as we are with our lovely CM.

DS has been at nursery since just shy of 18 months. I think it genuinely does him good to not be the centre of attention all the time (before this his grandparents were looking after him three days per week so he was just getting constant one to one or two to one adult interaction). He only goes 2 days per week but always eats and sleeps better there! And he does all sorts of messy activities that I don’t have to feel guilty about not wanting to do at home. It is also great to know that nursery is open 51 weeks of the year with no sickness or holiday to worry about. I’m sure he could get most of this from a childminder too but nursery offers the hours we need.

It depends how many days per week. I would always choose a good nursery but I only work part time. If I worked full time I’d do 3 days nursery, 2 days nanny.

A good nanny or childMinder can be amazing but I wasn’t comfortable with the risk of getting an unreliable one. I’ve seen some crap childminders our and about with children and it’s totally put me off even though I know there will be some brilliant ones.

We went with a nursery for a few reasons!

1. We needed one open from 7:30 am to 6:30 pm due to our commuting. We both work full time and, at the time, I worked in London. Childminders couldn't offer that, or it worked out more expensive than going to a nursery as they charged by the hour
2. We wanted DS to socialise with a lot of other children from a young age as he's an only child and that wasn't likely to change any time soon!
3. Couldn't afford a nanny!

It was the right decision for us in the end. He loved nursery (he's just started school) and we never had to worry about being late for pickups!

@SkyeIsPink

We went with a nursery for a few reasons!

1. We needed one open from 7:30 am to 6:30 pm due to our commuting. We both work full time and, at the time, I worked in London. Childminders couldn't offer that, or it worked out more expensive than going to a nursery as they charged by the hour
2. We wanted DS to socialise with a lot of other children from a young age as he's an only child and that wasn't likely to change any time soon!
3. Couldn't afford a nanny!

It was the right decision for us in the end. He loved nursery (he's just started school) and we never had to worry about being late for pickups!

Forgot to mention, he started nursery from 6 months so I don't think there's anything wrong with a baby going to nursery.

My youngest is 3 and has just started nursery. She is shy with unfamiliar people, but I think nursery will be best because the primary she will go to next year is huge and I want it to be an easy transition.

I have used nursery 2-3 days per week from DC being 7.5 months old and it has been great. It’s an ‘outstanding’ nursery but all the ofstead stuff aside it has got a really lovely vibe when you go in, great staff and facilities. I was going to use a childminder up until quite close to returning to work but a friend with a slightly older child was having lost of issues with the CM being off sick and generally unreliable (I know there are lots of very reliable CM too!) you don’t have this worry with nursery it’s a team of people not relying on just one. I didn’t explore the nanny option it wasn’t financially viable at the time.

I made a similar post a few days ago as I prefer a nursery setting with other toddlers. Dc is almost 18 months and he loves socialising with other toddlers and a child minder would just replace me (1-1 attention wise) for a few hours. I have yet to find a nursery that offers 3 days a week for a few hours a day as dc is still breastfed. Don't want to hijack your post but anyone in west/north London know of a nursery that offers this?

For your situation, I would prefer a nursery as my own dc now imitates and copies everyone so it would be good to be establishing those boundaries when he sees all the other toddlers following the structure whereas 1-1 he ignores those boundaries. I only noticed this when we were at a children's bday party a couple of weeks ago and dc was following and doing exactly the same thing as the other children were doing.

Dd1 went to nursery, for dd2 we got a part time nanny. My reasons were:

-nursery for 1 was affordable, but nursery plus after/preschool care for dd1 would probably not have been.
Nanny costs the same as nursery, but can look after both/do school runs when dd1 is around or sick, which works out cheaper and more importantly convenient than nursery + various different after school cover.

• all the childminders i went to visit seemed uninterested in their children, and were all without exception doing it because they had their own dc/gdc to look after and needed to maintain their income. I know this is a gross generalisation, there are brilliant childminders and i just got unlucky, but i ran out of local ones to try.

• we got lucky and the second nanny i interviewed is the one i employed and she is just marvellous in every way. She even (and i never ask for this, she kindly volunteers) batch cooks for the baby during naps and tidies up my kitchen/ dishwasher/ fridge as she goes. It’s like having Mary Poppins in the house and i thank my lucky stars daily for her.

Both dds are very sociable, so will definitely do the 30 hours once she’s older, but for now this works for all of us.

We did
Nanny from 14 months til 2.5 (have twins)
Childminder from then, and now this school year they go to childminder with pre school (childminder takes them and collects morning sessions). I wanted them ready to go to school and so thought some form of pre school was necessary but personally have never wanted the 8-6 nursery setting.
You will just get people telling you their preferences and everyone chooses what works best for them and their children.

We had a nanny for years because of our working hours. I also read a book when I was pregnant that suggested it was the best for children under 3. Obviously only if you have a nanny that stays with you for that time. We loved ours and miss her. The positives are the convenience, comfort for the child of being in their own space. They will also usually take your child to playgroups etc to give them social time. It's particularly good if you have multiple children and the older ones need dropping off at activities. They will usually cook for the children and you can specify any preferences (ideally not make life too difficult but most nannies are very good at making nutritious meals and smuggling in veg etc). Get one with a level 3 qualification, go through an agency and trust your instincts about who is a good fit for your family.
If you can afford it, I wouldn't think twice.

Sorry just to add on childminders and sickness: they won't accept your kid if they're ill, whereas a nanny will (admittedly if it's D&V the nanny may then also end up ill). A childminder can also get ill and won't always be able to find cover. Nanny also took the kids to GP appointments and vaccinations when we couldn't. And dropped off toddlers at preschool and did school run. I now have childminder and school wraparound. The childminder is nice but it's very basic and the TV is on all day. Nanny used to do craft activities with them and basically was Mary Poppins as someone else said!

Thank you so very very much for all your responses! It's given me a huge amount to think amount.

Just to add, I don't work and will not be returning to work for around another year, so the childcare is purely to get DS used to another adult and socialising around other children, and to hopefully develop his speech/skills if he is around children.

I am thinking maybe a very small intimate nursery is best for him.

There is no point in him being with someone who can offer nothing more than me as then it's just a waste of money; I would like whoever he goes to, to offer above and beyond what I do

Considering the situation described above I would go with a nursery. You could find one that does mornings or afternoons only and do a few of those so the days are less long.

I agree that a nursery makes most sense. DS will have about 6 months in nursery (part time) before I start work. This is partly because of where admissions fall in the year but also to give him a longer time to settle in and exposure to new experiences (and the stuff that I'm not very good at like crafts!). Obviously he could stay with me but I think we have the best of both worlds now. He's there M/W/F and does relatively short days and I can be flexible in terms of picking him up or keeping him off for a day if I feel like it.

Ah, yes, in that scenario a nursery would be ideal.

In normal times, you could get the socialisation by going to stay and play groups - unfortunately they're not running at the moment. Many childminders and nannies take their charges to such groups, too, which gives them more variety of toys, different people to socialise with, etc.