Speech and Language delay and pre-prep admissions

[JoJoSM2]

DH and I have planned to go down the independent route all through. However, it just dawned on us last night that DS might not get in. He’s 2 and behind when it comes to his language and communication development. His Sp&L therapist reckons that it’s too early to tell if he’s just a late bloomer (which DH was) or likely to have SEN. She also says DS has a lot of potential and is making good progress but he currently babbles and uses a handful of short individual words like ‘car, dog, moo moo’ at the age of 2y2m.

So we were talking about it last night and started worrying that he might not even get into private schools because of his delay and started wondering if we should be looking at the state sector for backup.

Has anyone had similar problems and can share their experiences? Or perhaps you work in an indie and can tell me if you admit children who are behind in some areas? I’ll add that we aren’t interested in any hothouse-y schools.

...do primary indie schools select on ability?

@Sayitagainwhydontyou

...do primary indie schools select on ability?

Pressed post too soon. I've never heard of any ability testing in an indie for 4yr olds! I think generally speaking you just give them your money and they take your child.

That said, if your son is delayed it may well be that the school you had chosen isn't right for him. Whether it would be better at a state school or in a more specialised environment depends entirely on where you are.

Is he in nursery? If so I'd speak to them and see what they think, they'll have lots of experience of all the local options, and what kinds of kids go to which. If he isn't, I'd maybe think about sending him a few days a week. My nonspeaking DD was a huge chatterbox after just a month - she didn't feel the need to talk at home because she didn't have to, mama and daddy just did everything for her! At nursery she had to stick up for herself much more.

Yes, they might.

Some are first come first served, others assess even for nursery (but I've always suspected that as long as you're DC is not an utter nightmare on the day, it's the parents they are assessing)

If the school is 'first come first served' then you will probably get a place.

But you need to ask about SEN provision, in case your DC does have additional needs. Private schools vary enormously in provision, and in many cases a state school will be letter (plus you'll have more money to spend on individual support)

There is a difference between a fee paying school and a selective school.
The difference between mainstream and independent schools with regard to SEN is that mainstream schools have access to local health and education services and your child may then have (as in your child's case) SALT or be seen by the Educational Psychologist.
In a fee paying school, you may find you have to pay additional fees for any support your child will need.
I do not speak for all selective schools, but I would be very surprised if they would take him and I would not imagine that it would be the best environment for him anyway.

The impression I got at open days is that even the ‘non-selective’ schools meet children beforehand to see if they can ‘meet their needs’. DS wouldn’t be a nightmare - he’s very smiley and sociable and plays nicely with other children, great at sharing and will offer toys to children who look like they’re down. He loves puzzles, music and is pretty impressive on his balance bike. He’s in nursery and very well liked but they also feel that Sp&L is a concern.

Having worked as a teacher for a long time, I do agree that some state schools are a lot more clued up on SEN than some indies. I do feel that if he turns out to have SEN and struggle academically, it’ll be particularly great for him to benefit from all the sport, music, dance, Art etc that some of the indies offer and no underfunded state school can match.

My friends twins were assessed before they were offered a place at the prep nursery last year. They needed to be toilet trained and have a reasonable level of communication for their age at the time (3).
My child has SEN and is under assessment for autism so he would not have been offered a place if we had gone down that route!
I believe it is school by school so I would certainly keep all your options open OP. My son is due to start reception at a good state school in my area with an EHCP in place.

Sorry, cross posted! Yes that’s exactly my understanding, the school will look to see if they can ‘meet their needs’

My husband’s colleague’s little dd attended the nursery at a prestigious girl’s independent school and was admitted to the junior school but was asked to leave after a while. She had some sen dyslexia and Dyscalculia. I do find it ironic when such schools brag about their A level and GCSE results when there is an entrance exam to the senior school, and children who don’t pass despite years of fees being paid to get them to the required level are asked to leave. It must be so damaging for those children’s development to be kicked out and forced away from their friends.

If it is SEN, especially language issues, I would look into language units in state schools. These are amazing but very difficult to get a space. Most kids only stay a few years and if you're set on private you can then switch.
DD is 12 with a language disorder and there just isn't the support in the private sector. They're great if it's something like dyslexia though.

Both my DS have S&L delays. They have both been diagnosed with ASD but obviously not saying your DS will be.

One of mine attends a mainstream state school with a specialist unit attached which specialises in speech delays. He started talking more when he was 4 (so quite delayed) but now at 6 is reading, writing etc. Their specialist skills have meant he has gone from starting reception below expectations to meeting them in most areas. He can now access almost all the learning in his mainstream class.

We looked at 15 different schools so I would recommend starting early and look at as many as possible both state and independent.

Hi @JoJoSM2
Firstly, I agree that the admissions criteria will vary a lot. The crazy world of oversubscribed London independents will be a lot more focused on ability at 4+ than a relaxed pre prep in the leafy suburbs.
Secondly - and I'm no expert - but I would say just turned 2 is very early to be worrying quite so much. My boys are both at private prep and I've seen children notably behind with speech at age 3/4 who were doing fabulously at 4/5.

It must be so damaging for those children’s development to be kicked out and forced away from their friends.

I would hate to go through it so would really like to get the school right from the start.

I think what I’m finding really stressful is that if the indie path doesn’t work out, our local primary isn’t the one I’d choose for a child with SEN and we’d need to move to be in a more suitable catchment. DS’s understanding seems pretty good. It’s more the expressive language that’s behind but I’d not sure that where he’s at would qualify for a language unit. Only time will tell, though.

@Delta1 I see what you mean about most suburban schools not being nearly as competitive as the more central ones. Unfortunately, having visited about 10 indies, I’ve only found one prep that I really liked and one that’s a maybe. We’ll probably do a fresh round of open days and private tours now that we see how our son is developing as it was very different visiting when he was only a little baby.

Have you had your son see an actual speech and language therapist? You can find a local one privately and ask to do an informal session. This should cost you around £80 but I agree with pp that you won't really know for another couple of years. Some kids really shoot off once they go to nursery/reception, especially boys.
If he does have language needs, the way speech and language is funded now he would most likely be able to get an EHCP and you would then choose a suitable school, regardless of your address.

@Malmontar We’ve been working with a very experienced therapist privately but a referral through the nursery has been submitted. The therapist said she’d hold off writing any reports as she feels there’s a chance DS is a late bloomer and it’s too early do determine if it’s SEN. I’m hoping he is just a late bloomer as DH didn’t speak till 3 but then really came on and is very articulate and successful. Unfortunately, we won’t know for sure for a while yet. My gut feel is that if it’s SEN, it’ll probably be restricted to expressive language as his understanding is pretty good.

@JoJoSM2 sounds very sensible. DD has expressive language disorder and it can be very frustrating but it's actually the easiest out of them all to treat; albeit not easy at all.
Sounds like you're doing all the right things. It's hard to keep a balance of not letting people fob you off but also not brushing things off.

I’ve missed where you live OP. If you’re inside London it is quite competitive. If you’re outside less so.
My DS2 had quite a severe language delay, which may or may not have been auditory processing disorder. (We had a couple of different views). He was not assessed at all for our indie and they were very accommodating - speech therapy was fine during the school day. Teachers were exceptionally good at implementing any new strategies. We’ve done state too and they were considerably less good at this.

We live outside London and the boys school is not selective and caters well with lots of learning difficulties. Few children leave the school at all, the only ones I know of were due to behavioural problems rather than learning ones.

My youngest started pre prep completely non verbal. School worked with us and a private speech therapist (never got to the top of the nhs waiting list!) and she was chattering away in full sentences very quickly.

Do not worry.

In my youngest's case, she did end up being diagnosed as ASD, but it's not a worry on it's own.

It's about finding the right school for YOUR child. If you make a mistake with your pre prep choice, move them to something that'll suit them more. Unlike the stage sector, you can pick and choose and move to where stretches them, encourages them and gives them the tools to grow and develop.

Don't stress too much now.

Thank you Everyone. I think I just need to accept that I might not get it right at first. With DS being a summer born, he’ll have just turned 3 when he starts at a nursery attached to a school. I guess we’ll just need to be flexible to see how he develops and take it from there.

Op, a few things strike me from your post. To answer your question, yes whoever bright your lovely child is, some schools (private and state) will make it clear they don’t want a child with SL delay. My dc was in this position

Others will accept your child (state won’t have a choice and private might want the fees) but be useless for your child once you are there

I’m sure you are very aware as a teacher of the options but just wanted to float the following:

1. if your dc is summer born and you have plans to move eg out of London then it might be worth selecting an area where you can automatically defer school admission in the state sector. The summerborn Facebook group will tell you where. That will secure l.o two years of nursery

2. you want a nursery which will welcome your SALT to go in and work with your dc there, cascading the focus areas to staff. This is the gold standard and the right place should be open to that

3. I’m afraid it is very difficult to tell from the outside where will be good for kids with sn. It is worth remembering that bigger schools with a large intake with sn may well have better provision for SLT needs than leafy village primaries

Also I’m sure you have, but have you had a private hearing check? My dd passed her nfs check but a private check showed hearing loss, she had grommets and it was amazing how fast her speech started to improve. She probably has adhd and some asd traits but is a lovely happy girl doing well at school now (age 10)

@Onceuponatimethen
I have wondered about a hearing check. DS seems to hear very well but we might get the test done just to make sure he’s definitely ok.

We’re in outer London and have no intention of moving out of the area - I just started worrying about moving locally for a different catchment. However, we’ll just do another round of open days and school tours with DS’s needs in mind.

I'm sure your SALT has mentioned this, but if children have just an expessive delay, there is a greater chance of them catching up. Although if he is going to catch up, he may not have done so quick enough for nursery admissions which is presumably in 6m or so. I hope your school visits are successful.

BendingSpoons, thank you. Our SALT is pretty optimistic at the mo but yes, we’re only 6m away and DS is summer born so the circumstances aren’t in our favour...

It really depends on the individual school. My DC's prep does do a taster day but are happy to take kids with SEN as long as they don't require specialist care the school couldn't provide. If your DC needs a 1 to 1 you have to pay for it on top of fees but other help is provided. I remember one child they told they couldn't take but the little boy who was in the nursery with my child was 4 years old and had no communication at all (not even waving or smiling or nodding) and lots of extreme behavioural problems. You would know by now if your DS was that extreme.

Obviously the very selective London pre preps will look at communication skills so it might preclude your son if he doesn't catch up in a year or so when they'd be doing admissions but then you could never guarantee he'd get in there anyway. Other schools should be available though.