If you moved area to attend a progressive...

[Canihaveafairygodmotherpls]

Hi all, I would really love to hear stories from others who were in search of a progressive education for their DC and moved area because of it. We are considering a return from overseas and keen to find a school (pref without sky high fees) which will follow the type of learning environment they are used to. E.g no uniform, project based learning, high emphasis on social emotional learning, growth mindset, meeting the child where they are at - to name a few.

There don't seem to be any such school available where we lived which would mean a relocation to a new area. I'd love to hear from anyone who took the plunge and relocated to a completely new area in search for the education style they believed in. Did it work out, any regrets, where you able to settle in as a family or in the end was the pursuit really not worth it because the cost was so high in other ways?

We have both primary & soon to be secondary aged DC. Thank you!

We did it, both our dds were primary age. I think it’s really important to get the inside track on the school from current parents before you move as it may not be the perfect solution that you would hope it would be

All schools are still essentially institutions that manage a mass of kids and aren’t totally flexed to any one individual.

We’re really happy we did it as the school is a best fit for both dds BUT we did swallow the school marketing hook, line and sinker! Now we know better!!

Oh OP my first reaction was, don't go the slippery slope of 100% alternative and novelty, it may work in the short term or every day basis but kids still will need to learn core skills, and if it is a bit painful then this is a core life learning skill too. Especially at the ages you refer to (ie beyond early years and getting ready for secondary)

how alternative you want the school to be? Perhaps a really relaxed village state school will tick most of the boxes but will not have the "alternative" marketing label on it. Would a low profile school be able to give you peace of mind or are you really looking for all that alternative fanfare.

To your second point, so many other factors to chip in, including location, and family lifestyle, and friends or friendship connections, I would not solely base the decision on a school located somewhere in the country.

Fees depend more on location and less on the school. Closer to London obviously prices hike up, independently of ethos of school. It may mean 17k a year for a prep year versus 10k further up north.

We have several progressive schools in my area Glos and one very high profile one that was closed down with one days notice last year. Do a lot of research and speak to current parents and children is my advice

Thanks so much for your replies. Some interesting points made. It's true about school marketing, I did indeed attend a state open day which used many buzz words around wellness and inspiration of teaching through certain methods. However my dd ended up with an old school teacher there who provided the exact opposite experience.

Interestingly here the social and emotional element of our school is top of their agenda and whilst initially delighted it has become a slight infringement on what what we were already offering our dc. To the point I've sometimes wished the teacher channeled more of her energy into the teaching academics (which is not my strong point) than social emotion learning (which is my strong point).

I think it will be a real change attending a regular state, with uniforms and mr/mrs and star charts and other reward/punishment systems. And when I really think about what's most important for me progressive/alternative it's the way in which teachers are educated about child development. For them to have training beyond the curriculum supporting them in understanding behaviours, allowing a child to be more fully understood with the freedom to express who they are without needing to squeeze themselves into environmental expectations for fear of judgment or punishment - e.g you went out of the very straight line I'm trying to create, you went to the toilet without asking, you want to complete that task standing at your table but no you must sit...

I think my dc are equipped to manage different environments but I'd be sad for them to need to revert back to the protocols in place that clip wings of individuality and expression.

I think family happiness is key and a new area with no friends nearby would place an awful lot of stress on the school being all we hope for. Which as someone said may not live up to its marketing.

OP, society "protocols" are not necessarily a bad thing and the majority of them are geared towards maintaining law and order and to keep in mind respect for others too.

It is fine if a five or six year old decides to do something spontaneously but I do believe that children must also learn to keep a line if asked, within reason and adjusting for their age. This is a skill that will come handy later in life, and has to do also with self regulation and self control. Children also thrive on structure, and it is good for them emotionally. So all of this is not incompatible with family happiness and childhood happiness - on the latter, especially, it is widely proven that children thrive if given a structure and guidance to follow. So in a way, completely opposite to what you are saying. A child can be taught to deal with rules and protocols, without losing their "individuality and expression".

So yes, if your child complains, it may not be necessarily a bad thing, within limits, as it teaches them to deal with disappointment and to get over it and move on. It also teaches them that not all is/will be like they want it, and to not completely crumble about it.

for full disclosure, I would be the last one to put my child into a Steiner school for instance!

Finally, in this covid environment, more rules than you can imagine have popped up - not sure where you are at the moment, but when you are back in the UK, be prepared for a shocker!

Have a look at Frensham Heights - they have day, weekly and full boarding options.

Another one is Bedes near Eastbourne (they have uniform, but tick a lot of your other boxes).

Both tend to cater for the quirkier child and especially those with SEN.

Both are in lovely areas too - but neither school nor area are cheap.

That said, my DD's state primary in London is very keen on growth mindset, all work is project and topic based, more art, drama and music than I could wish for (and it was a big factor on my wish list) and no stupid rules. I'm more than happy to be 'That Parent' when needed and only felt I needed to be once in 7 years.

They have uniform, but nobody cared if tights were the wrong colour or you had sparkles on your shoes or what backpack you wore. Staff admired my DD's 5 different shades of nail polish on the one hand rather than insisting she remove it instantly.

I don't think my DD's school is particularly unusual.

The Michaela School is probably one to avoid though!

My view op that you might think (and we certainly expected) the staff would have special training and totally buy into the ideologies of the school.

But from speaking to friends at another alternative school, some alternative schools are quite chaotic and wooly and there is quite a bit of disorganisation and no special staff training at all.

The staff will have trained (usually) in mainstream schools and much of their approach will be informed by that.

The academics can be a real issue and I certainly wouldn’t enter an alternative/progressive school without a great deal of thought for a very academic child.

I think you might be best off saving your cash for secondary and finding a progressive secondary. Or a nice relaxed state primary and secondary (checking parent grapevine for the real lowdown) and adding your own extras on top eg music etc

Hi, can I please ask the name of your lovely primary? Thanks!

this was for @OhCrumbsWhereNow !

Dunhurst and Bedales?

Home Ed?

Have you considered a Quaker school? The levels of “progessiveness” varies between the schools and they will all have a distinct ethos, however all are grounded in Quaker beliefs and a general belief in turning out lovely kids with good values. I know Bootham in York (at least in my outdated knowledge!) has either a very relaxed or no uniform dependent on year group, calling teachers by their first names, and a strong influence on promoting a social conscience in the students. I’ve known kids go there who haven’t quite found their place in other schools who have really flourished.

Unfortunately fees are sky high!!

Have you looked at Steiner schools? Our nearest one goes up to age 13 but sounds like what you mike like! www.greenwichsteinerschool.org.uk/

But they have them elsewhere

Friends in Ireland have dc attending a school movement called Educate Together, no uniform, very relaxed, totally inclusive.. Would that be an option?

Don't have any advice re school but just want to add that I love our kids having school uniforms. Kids arent judging each other on their clothing then and no one knows whos rich and who is poor. The focus is on the child as a person rather than what they are wearing.