Is this a terrible time to be looking at moving to private school?

[Saltycinnamon]

As above really. Currently in Y4, state school, class of 33. Summer born DS. No complaints about the school really but DS struggles, particularly with concentration. I think he’ll sink as time goes on. Thinking about local, small private school as an option. We could just afford it. Is now a ridiculous time with kids in and out?

Can you afford the incremental increases and +5% per year? What about secondary?

How secure are your jobs is the key question I’d ask.

I thought about it myself this morning.

Just be careful to check the viability of the school accounts - lots are struggling at the mo as parents either are unable to pay fees, or unwilling to pay them due to the drop in provisions.

In addition to this, make sure you add on for extras - Ds is in Yesr 4 and each term there’s minimum £250 ish added on for after school stuff / books etc.

I’m looking to move Ds from one private to another, and i must admit I’m nervy. I worry he will struggle to make friends with everyone in / out / unsettled. I’m still undecided as to whether to make the leap now!

If you can only just afford it, I wouldn't. Bluntly, you are unlikely to be able to afford secondary if you can't really afford primary. And there is little point in doing a couple of years in private and switching back.

Job security is fine. I’ve worked it all out & factored in increases etc - but it would mean making different decisions with holidays/cars/house etc & being v mindful of spending. We are by no means rich but have a small house, smallish mortgage etc. That’s another factor - will we stand out? I’d never considered private school. I’m a comprehensive state school teacher ironically!

We have just paid our last terms school fees EVER. Well know private boarding school and god knows how we afforded it. But we did and I have NO regrets going down that route. I never went myself. I had a bog standard secondary modern education and no one from the school went to university! I didnt want that for my children.

We have managed over the years. There were some close run issues, it was never easy, we both worked full time, paid lots in childcare to enable us to both have careers. It has worked out OK.

I saw another thread where a poster mentioned that there are risk takers and hand wringers who just dont want to do anything during this crisis. They want answers to everything, guarantees for all.

I would do it. If somewhere along the line something happens and you need to revisit your decision that is fine but there is nothing better IMHO than putting money into your children's education.

When I say just I’m perhaps being a bit dramatic. We can afford it but we’d definitely notice it.

I had a great state school education & experience but my DS is a different kettle of fish. I was very motivated, keen to please, a total geek (!) and loved it. DS loves school but I know in such huge class sizes he’s struggling.

If you're a teacher then can you get a job at a private school so you would then be eligible for discounted fees. I know two teachers who have done this and it's worked out for their kids.

Wow - you are teacher! That's brave and honest of you to admit. Honestly we have never regretted it. I have seen the huge difference in my DS's private school dealing with CV19 and the state schools my niece's go to.

Hm it’s not that easy to change teaching jobs & is quite senior so it would be tricky to match my salary. @sunglasses123 that reaction is what bothers me I think! It is not easy for me to even consider this - totally against my principles! I feel a bit embarrassed about it

We are going the opposite way, coming out of private. We are moving areas anyway but have not been impressed to be honest so we are going state with private tuition to support.

Not that is makes any difference but in my social circle ironically the kids who have gone on to Oxbridge have come from state and the privately educated kids are struggling with FE and establishing careers. Its opened my eyes tbh.

We've decided instead to buy a flat for each of the kids rather than pay for education. We worked out with the money we would pay for private schooling we could buy 2 x 2 bed apartments, so that's what we will do.

We will work to get them to university so hopefully they will start their life with a degree and a property of their own with no mortgage or rent to pay. If that happens I will be very happy. The rest is up to them.

Everyone must do what is right for their own family and if this is right for you then go for it. This is just food for thought.

My DS has sadly has his A Levels cancelled. However over the last few years he has really shown his true potential. Like to think it comes from me (!!) but honestly - he is looking down the barrel of 3 A*'s now. Do I think he would have got them without the school. Sadly NO! I didnt do well because there were too many distractions and the school had little in the way of expectations.

School is setting assessments to keep the boys going but they shouldnt mess up the final grades. Even if the school gives him 3 AAA's he will still get into his first choice university.

Tbh unless you can get your son into an excellent alternative, if you can afford to go private why on earth wouldn’t you? My ds has his first day at a private boarding school today (remotely), the teaching and general attention paid to the children bear no relation to the (outstanding) state school he has left.

Like pp said just check carefully that the school is financially viable post Covid. We have a few private schools in our area, the larger more expensive schools will probably be ok, the smaller slightly cheaper one was already struggling and might struggle even more now.

Dont be embarrassed. You hold your head high girl! Some of the women in my son's school have more money than sense and spend half their time bitching about either what the school isnt doing or about their hired help! Husbands are nowhere to be seen!

You would be very surprised though at just how many parents are just like us. A full time working couple who are trying to do the best for their children. We couldnt have done this without me working fulltime though in a middle manager role. Being a teacher will give you lots of flexibility during school holidays. No very expensive play schemes or holiday clubs. You have lots of options here, you could try it, you could become a private school teacher if necessary.

Being a teacher is one of the safest jobs around so I can understand why you would say it is safe.

Thank you for the thoughts & feedback - much appreciated! Just another question - how would I check on the school’s financial viability? Company’s house?

*Companies

how would I check on the school’s financial viability? Company’s house?

They’re almost all charities, so you’d need to look at the accounts on the charity commission website, I think.

We did. No regrets. We felt we had no choice as Ds was making little progress despite being obviously bright. Asd diagnosis came much later. Went from class of 34 to 14 and it was like switching on a light.
He got the attention and challenge that he needed. Yes,it was a struggle at times but,as someone said already, if you're willing to take a risk,go for it. You only get one education.
Do make sure it's a good school with a proven track record and is financially healthy.

Oh and I'm a teacher too - though I've taught in both sectors (not in same school so no fee benefit).

I have two that went to state primary and the. To private secondary.

For one it's been the best decision for him. There's a lot that he's been able to access there that he just wouldn't have at state school and he's doing brilliantly.

The other is doing fine but the main benefits aren't anything that she couldn't have got at state with some extra tuition (which would have been way cheaper than school fees) but she's at the end of year 8 now so not really looking to move her unless she becomes unhappy there (she's says she's not).

So, my point being, depends on the child and what your looking to get from it and whether the school your looking at offers those things.

Others have made good points about school viability, especially for a small prep.

There are lots of teachers kids at our school, don’t worry (both state and primary!)

We are at a very traditional boarding prep, and get a lot of old money / stately home dwellers - I’m a single parent living in a rented semi by comparison. That said, I’ve never felt out of place or made to stand out. There’s a huge pride amongst parents in being able to pass on second hand uniform - if you think your child would suit it and you can afford it (even with sacrifices to lifestyle) then I would go for it.

I would say almost 1/4 of parents at dd prep school are teachers/school staff, so as a teacher you would certainly not stand out in anyway. If you trulu think the private school suits your ds better than his current setting and you can afford the fees I would certainly give it a try. I personally believe that even a couple of years, sometimes even one year of good/inspiring, or just catch up -teaching can make a great difference (in the same way as a year or two at a really unsuitable school can kill someone's enthusiasm and create gaps that are hard to close). And you never know what tomorrow brings - you can only use - or not use - the opportunities and options you have today. On the whole I think a very good (private or outstanding state) school is more advantageous for a child's lifechances than a private (or outstanding state) secondary education as teaching has a greater impact on young children who can't yet learn independently. Once the foundations are laid, independent learning becomes more important than teaching input, so I wouldn't worry too much about whether you can afford private secondary at this point but rather try and invest in the foundations and in a lifetime joy of (and ability to access) learning.

@Saltycinnamon if you can afford it, then now is a good time as inevitably some children will be dropping out for next term where parents have lost their jobs/change in circumstances due to corona. This will free up places in schools that wouldn’t usually have spaces . Don’t worry about feeling like you would stand out. Husband and I are both state educated full time workers as are approx 60% of the school. There are some SAHM’S too so it’s a nice mix and I’ve not been made to feel inferior or superior because I work full time. My only advice would be that as state educated parents, we had no idea how much pressure gets put on the child at 11+ and if we could have our time again, I would find a private school that took children all the way through to 16 rather than put them in a prep that finishes at 11 and 13. Saying that, we are in south west London/ Surrey where it’s very competitive and I know it’s not as bad in other areas, so this may not apply to you as much .

If not now then when? Why not before? You can keep making excuses indefinitely but if you think you can offer your child a better education (for whatever reason even if it’s just down to personal fit) then how could you justify not doing it? Just crack on. Life is for living, not agonising over little decisions.