Those who work hard in school are working hard at home

[whatdoyoudonow]

How far do you agree with this?

I've found that I'm getting work back from students who work well in school. Those who are hard to motivate at school are not engaging in home learning.

No surprises there for me at all so why are some of their parents so surprised?

I've had a few conversations with parents who are tearing their hair out because they can't motivate their DC. They are staying up late, sleep in late and won't work.

What would you say to them?

As the parent here I understand. My P6 child is a diligent worker who puts 110% in at school. He's doing the same at home, always emailing his teacher with his updates as he should and is getting top marks as usual. My P3 DS is... well, let's just say I'll be buying his teacher a bigger bottle of alcohol when school is done. I have to stand behind him and kick him up the arse every 5 minutes.

I bumped into a fellow school mum today who's son is known to be very disruptive in class, doesn't behave, doesn't do his work and is spoiled rotten and the mum is always having a go at the school for various things. She is constantly and loudly complaining to the teachers, HT and anyone who's nearby when the issue is definitely her and her indulged PFB. She was raging today that the teacher was 'slacking off and not working, not making sure her DS is doing his work each day (the work is set and the parents have to report the work in) and that the teacher was never replying to her emails (which by the sound of it was just a list of complaints) yet the teacher was replying to my DS's. She said how she was emailing when she got home from work (after 5pm) and expecting instant replies.

If DS(8) is not doing his work that's on me. I'm his mum and the work isn't the problem, it's me. If a parent doesn't know how to get their child to do as they're told (ie. doing their work) by the time they're old enough to school then what can you say?

It's not like you can say, "Well get him into a school routine and when he's not doing it, get him 'effing told!"

Our boys are doing their school work, though DS2 is getting harder to motivate. We have kept to a similar daily routine as when we are in work/school, probably because DH and I are still doing full working days WFH Mon-Fri. That means during the week we all have breakfast at a regular time before we start work, lunch together to fit around meetings, dinner after work, a walk after dinner and follow the normal school night bedtime. School work in the morning, fun once it’s done. Weekends are unstructured and we don’t care if they spend the day in pyjamas in the week, so long as the work gets done and they are dressed before the evening walk. I imagine its a lot harder for parents that aren’t working/are furloughed or with younger children that need closer supervision. I know if we slipped into holiday mode, it would be carnage after a week. Sticking to a routine is keeping the chaos at bay and some sense of normality, but I get that its not right for everyone.

That's an interesting observation, I have wondered. Mine are primary aged but are very motivated at school and generally motivated at home. Advice probably depends on age. Home school has been presented to ours as non-optional, just like ski school, swimming, music etc, and it hasn't occurred to them to rebel, but I imagine a teenager would be different!

DS (6) finds the zoom lessons difficult, as do most of his class so the school is only offering a 'keeping in touch' type call weekly. Some days he isn't that engaged at first so I sometimes ditch whatever lesson I had prepared (usually core subject, a bit dryer) and we go for something he'll be engaged in. We've taught all sorts, first aid, economics, world history, and if you tie it to what's going on in the world now (economic crash, look at what has actually happened to our accounts and investments, compare food shortages to WW2 and get them to figure out why there were shortages, what they would prioritise if they were at the Ministry of Food), they seem to get engaged. Mine like a real life problem presented and then we work on first principles to understand it and find a solution. It's really a conversation with a white board to help demonstrate stuff and if a topic on Malala's biography veers into a discussion of women's rights under the Talaban vs. UK historically, or a discussion of what bravery means, then we go with the flow. Maybe the style is more cosy university tutorial than lesson.

Both will do worksheets but only for so long, so we have a white board and DH and I take it in turns to actually teach and run interactive lessons in the same way we would run a workshop in our professional careers. We're both still working so this is a time-consuming nightmare! The children are picking up some interesting skills and knowledge so it's not time wasted.

And yes, routine works for ours. We ditched the Easter holiday after a week and insisted on morning school and daily sports, with afternoons free. It was carnage when they were free all day.

Typical structure:

9 am sports (JW/yoga/dance)
9.30 - 11.30 - Morning class, taught at the white board by me or DH. Usually 2 subjects with a 10 minute break in between.
Free time
12.15 - 13.00 - Lunch together then free time.
13.00 - 15.00 - Afternoon classes.
From 3pm they have music practice, ballet class on-line etc, play time, TV until 6pm
Every evening there is a family walk and supper together before bed at around usual time.

DC are 6 and 10.

My dd(15) is getting up at 7.30 going for a run and then starting work. She works til about 4 with an hour off at lunch.
She goes to an academic girls grammar school. They have very high expectations of the girls and not doing the work just isn't an option. She's a bit of a chatterbox at school and is knuckling down more on lockdown as there is no one to talk to.

I agree but it's pretty obvious. Some kids are finding they can work even better not having the distractions of school. My daughter is self motivated but does miss the hands on parts of art, science experiments and math (having a question and the teacher being able to look at your workings to see where you have gone wrong). She's in the top sets and says everyone in her classes is motivated to do well.
But it must be tempting for some kids to slack and do the minimum without a teacher keeping an eye on them (that would be my son - thank goodness now in college where he is now motivated)!.

My unscientific sample of two children...

• my hardworker works hard most of the time
• my slightly lazy, head in the clouds, clever child needs constant prodding to keep on track, and I consider it a good day if she's written a few sentences, read a couple of pages and done her maths challenge without going off in a strop. (She's in Yr2).

Not always! My son is in year 1. Very hard working at school but man he is hard to motivate at home. I am an

LSA so come from an education background but I am finding it tough. He sees home as a fun place not a place for school work. He happy to do art, pe or science experiments but so so reluctant to read or write! We have done some of the work provided by school but it is a battle and makes both of us unhappy. Such a shame because he loves school and is exceeding in most areas. I'm sad that he missing out on vital education.

Im not sure Id agree entirely. My 2 are super teacher's pets and high achieving. Yr 6 one ridiculously so. But they're primary and they arent engaged with the worksheets. We've decided to do some token shool work for an hour in the morning and that's it. We've had a lot of fun doing other things, and letting them play creatively which they've loved. School sent out a lovely video encouraging this approach pretty much so we're okay with that.

Cathy I really dont think its worth battling over. Still reading to them so the love of stories is there and occasionally getting them to read a sentence/a page is great. Boosting the v narrow school curriculum woth pe/art/home ec/design tech (aka Lego) is also great I think.

It depends on their age too. I'm not worried about my bright primary kids missing out. If anything I think they'll benefit.

However I do realise it is different closer to GCSEs and a whole different issue.

I don't think it's as simple as that. DD3 (11) is consistently described as "so hard working!" by her teachers. She's an achiever, but they are clear that it's her hard work that shows. However, at home, she's missing her friends and she sets herself such high standards that she regularly bursts into tears because she hasn't done something quite as she thinks she should.

DD2 (12, ASD) really struggles to work out the intention of a homework, takes it all very literally and then gets completely overwhelmed. She needs lots of support and scaffolding, which is frustrating because she's far more able than she thinks she is.

I actually think having a white board on the wall and markers, and standing at the front with the 2 DC across the table is conferring some degree of authority on us

I'd disagree slightly. DS year 6 working above expected in all areas & fully engaged at school but I'm struggling to get him engaged with the work which is being set. Admitidly I'm also trying to WFH myself. I think he really benefits from the school environment & is struggling to self motivate.

I think it shows different things work for different families. I'm a teacher and wouldnt want to do a whiteboard/sat at desk day at home at all. But that's because it doesnt work for us. Its obviously working for Alba. I think flexibility is one of the pluses of homeschooling to work out what works for you and for your kids. For people working full time that will look different again. And honestly thats okay

I think that probably applies to most children OP. However my year 10 is producing far more work as doesn't cope well in school and is either bored at the pace, frustrated by the teacher or distracted by other children. The ability to move at the correct pace and total peace and quiet and a keyboard for work is resulting in work of a higher standard and far more quantity and definitely learning more. However I have to insist it is done as nothing would be done by choice. Am wishing GCSEs could be done without returning to school.

Your theory wouldn't have worked for my dc (2 of whom have now left school and the youngest ought to have been taking her A-levels now).

dcs 1 and 3 very much fed off interaction. Hard working, people pleasers within school / when they see people but neither that keen on homework. At school they would present very differently from at home.

Not true for my Y8 DD.

Apparently delightful at school, works hard, polite, bright and keen.

At home - absolute fucking nightmare who cannot self motivate AT ALL and uses any excuse in the book to not do work. I’ve been good cop, I’ve been bad cop, I’ve limited or removed her screens and gadgets, I’ve given her flex to sleep late (she’s not a morning person) and work in the afternoon but nope.

Her tutor called as he was astounded she’d done so little work, he thought she’d be flying.

It appears she needs the structure and motivation of school...

My 10yo dd is apparently very hard working at school. She is a grumpy little so and so at home. I've resorted to bringing her with sweets for each task she does I'm a teacher, so in theory I should be good at this, but it's very very different with your own child at home. Neither of us are coping well with home learning tbh.

My pupils at school, yes I think the theory is about right. There are a few surprises, like the kids who mess about constantly in class who are handing in every bit of work early and enquiring after my health (I could have sworn they didn't like me just a month or two ago!). And there are a couple of kids who are conscientious at school but are really, really struggling at home and aren't sending me very much work at all. On the whole, though, the ones I would expect to do the work properly are doing so, and the ones who have no motivation at school also have no motivation at home.

I thought this was going to be a thread about staff.

Ive not been surprised by who is not working at all. Children who have a poor homework record generally are not working well at home now. But i imagine there are lots of those children who just dont have quiet spaces to work at home. Some children have chaotic home lives.

To a degree. But for some school is an escape which they won,t get at home, they may have to be baby sitters/ carers home makers so don,t get that opportunity to work hard. I I worked my daughter would be in the above cattergory but I am on furlough.

I guess it depends if parents have the time and energy to check on their kids. I imagine it is quite hard after 13 hour shifts, and some kids have caring responsibilities.

However, I think some parents think it is the job of the school to motivate. I was brought up with the opposite notion and was made to do extra work out of school. It’s a useful skill to learn - especially before gcses and uni. I try to Instill it in my kids by making them work before they get access to electronics.

To be snippy, the same appears to work for the teachers. DD's useless teacher, who doesn't support her in school and takes ages to sort anything out has marked one piece of work since lockdown started. One. We've submitted lots. And some of her materials are misspelled and inaccurate.

Whereas my friend's DS's teacher, who is thoughtful, hard-working and dedicated, has called him, written lovely letters, emailed personally, marked everything and motivated her children.

DD is actually doing a lot better in lockdown. Well, probably. Without marking it's a little difficult to judge.

Thanks @SquashedFlyBiscuit. To be honest I haven't been forcing it too much. We've been doing lots of art, cooking, experiments etc. His school has just uploaded a ton of work onto a new app and it made me worry a bit and feel under pressure to get him to complete it. However, he went into school yesterday (I am a key worker so he's going on once a week) and he didn't do any academic work as far as I can tell. So going to do my best to encourage a little bit of work if he's in the right mind set and otherwise not worry too much about it 😊

I think there are other factors. My DD is in Y9. Some of her peers are (for example) looking after younger siblings while their parents work. This obviously impacts on their own ability to do school work.

DH and I are both working full time. This means that if DD can't understand the work (and she's now essentially having to teach herself new topics that would normally be taught in class by the teacher) she has to wait for one of us to be free to try to help. I am very conscious that she would be doing much better if she had a parent fully available to support her.

A poster upthread has posted their daily schedule which involves a fair amount of parent support and teaching of their 6 and 10 year olds. This amount of time is just not possible if the adults in the house are also trying to work at their paid job.