DS1 having hard time at new school...I really don't know what to do for the best

[katierocket]

We've just moved. DS2 is now in year 1. He was very happy at old school, really good friends etc. He's only been at new school a week but it's not going well.

We don't expect miracles but the first day was truly awful. He was pretty much left to get on with it (they didn't pair him up with another child or anything)and consequently spent most of day on his own.

Anyway, after speaking to school the teacher gave a talk about importance of being nice to new people blah blah and things have been a bit better.

But he says that when he trys to play with other children at playtime they just run away. That's what breaks my heart the most - that he is making the effort but not getting anything back.
Is this normal a week in? I don't expect him to have good friends this early on but it would be nice if someone would at least play with him.

Is it worth speakign to the teacher again do you think? I'm not really sure what she can do.

He's not really made any specific friends. There is a slight light at end of tunnel in that it's his birthday party in couple of weeks and we've invited whole class (only 17 of them), I'm really hoping that will help. He doesn't seem to want to invite anyone for tea/play and honestly at his old school he was very happy, outgoing with some lovely friends.

ds moved at year 3 and I'd say it took at least half a term to be happy and another term to feel settled. Glad it is working out better for dd now Dinny , KR agree that might be a good way to try to integrate your ds1 into a more established group. Do you think it is just the change of school or could the different routine of year 1 be affecting him too ? In year 1 dd read everyday to either teacher, TA or a parent volunteer.

yeah, dd was same - she morphed into someone so shy compared with the carfree person she was with her old friends. it's so hard to see.

birthday party sounds good. are there any mums you have chatted to? maybe get together with them and the kids for playground/zone, coffee after school?

and also, how about after-school clubs?

thanks, LIZS, yes - she seems v happy atm (albeit a bit under weather)

Yes dinny, sorry, how rude of me, I'm glad your dd is happier.

LIZS - I think that yr1 is a slight shock to him although he's old for his year and pretty bright and actually he says that the 'learning' bit is the only bit he likes. I have a deep seated worry that it's the school itself (social side of things and the whole set up) he doesn't like but I could just be being pessimistic!

I hope the party will help, not sure I can 'force' a playdate on him if he isn't particulary drawn to anyone yet.

"she morphed into someone so shy compared with the carfree person she was with her old friends. "

that's exactly what scares me. His personality seems to be changing before my eyes. He has started going to football after school but he's not really that keen (god he sounds like a right misery and he's really not).

And I have spoken to a few of the mums but they really are dreadfully cliquey and it's a fairly painful process (but I am trying!)

Katie, don't be daft! Not rude!

Maybe try a more casual get-together than playdate? Meet up somewhere after school maybe? With a couple of boys he quite likes/doesn't hate?

at least it may give him some confidence to infiltrate the friendship groups when he is at school?