starting secondary school

[robinw]

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I don't like the sound of this. I'm sure that your friend has spoken to the school about why she wants her son moved and they should treat bullying more seriously. If I were your friend I'd go back and ask them what their anti-bullying policy is. If they don't have one then perhaps she could create a stink until they do. Also she could contact the charity Kidscape which has loads of advice for schools, parents and children about how to deal with bullying.

As for settling in, I think it just takes time. I hope that things work out for him, it's a miserable situation.

Kidscape have a website :www.kidscape.org.uk

I don't know how persistant your friend has been - but it is worth very politely keeping going with the requests to be moved. I know most school work hard on the grouping of children - and it is often extremely difficult to move them as it is such a 'game of logic' and if a parent is not absolutely insistant schools will tend to say it's not possible - just because it's difficult and inconvenient. BUt what will the school do when someone new moves into the catchment? They'll have to put them somewhere - the point I'm making ( I'm a secondary teacher) is that I know our year 7 liason person would play 'hard to get' to start with - but if a parent politely insisted on seeing the Head and KEPT pushing I find it hard to understand how it can be IMPOSSIBLE to move then ( just difficult or inconvenient) and frankly in the circumstances if it were my dd I'd certainly want her moved.

I agree totally with Bayleaf, keep pushing.

I'd agree that keeping on keeping on is the way to go. One of my boys was once in an awful class. We requested a move but nothing came of it. At the end of the year, the Head of Year said it had been a mistake to keep the class together and it should have been broken up and 'redistributed' because it was such a disater. IME of over 20 years in the state education system, it's very rare for a teacher to admit they'd made an error of judgment on something such as this. (Not attacking teachers, Bayleaf, as I say, that's just my experience.)

Keep on persisting for a different class. Stealing from someone or threatening them to steal from another person or else is something to worry about.

I'd persist with trying to get him moved. I think a great deal depends on who you speak to in these circumstances. I'd try to speak to as many involved teachers as possible - starting with the form tutor, then head of year, and moving up from there. I'd certainly insist on regular meetings with the head of his year-group to see how the problem is being dealt with in school. And, like bayleaf (although I'm not a teacher, just married to one) I think the power of polite insistence could work wonders.

When my son was entering 5th grade we were taking a tour of the new school he was planning to attend (hes in a different school alltogether now). I was walking through the 5th grade section and happen to noticed a very grouchy teacher yelling at the kids. She did not know I was glancing in her door window. I realize this is a crazy age but she was downright mean. As I was walking the halls a teacher came out of her room to see if I needed any help. She was such a sweet teacher that I knew I would love for her to teach my son. My fear was him getting stuck with the teacher I had mentioned for the entire year. After I walked around with my mom we went into the school office to meet with the principal. I could not help myself but I explained what I had seen. I did not give any names but I said I rather him not be put in this specific class and that I did meet a really nice teacher while walking the hall. At first she said that it really depended on the #s in all the classes as to where my son would end up but I really expressed my concerns deeply and in the end my ds got the teacher I felt quite comfortable with. I found out through my ds that none of the children liked this teacher personally because she was not a pleasent person. I was so thankful after hearing this that I said something even though I felt awkward as a new parent complaining.

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