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Original poster

DS was so disappointed with first day

23 replies

MoreTeaVicar · 05/09/2007 19:08

DS had a really miserable 1st day at his new school today, he is the only new one. His guardian kept leaving him, he didnt get a drink or snack during his very long morning break almost an hour, (he didnt know where to go) and spent his time wandering around alone . Nobody was even talking to him. He is quite shy unless he is approached first and he is really sensitive. I really feel so sad for him, he is only 8. Anybody have any ideas how I can help improve the situation for him please?

OP posts:

chipkid · 05/09/2007 19:11

can you speak to his teacher and ask that he or she makes sure that your Ds knows the routines and where he is to go for drinks and snacks etc? this must be very worrying for your litle one. Big hugs

Original poster

MoreTeaVicar · 05/09/2007 19:14

Thanks chipkid, I was thinking of writing a short letter but worrying that that may seem a little OTT.

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chipkid · 05/09/2007 19:16

it is definitley not over the top-it is details like this that are essential for your little one to feel he has some control over his day and is not dependant on others. I am sure that his teacher will understand your concerns.

Is he in a big class?

Earlybird · 05/09/2007 19:18

Do you know any parents/other children at the school? Just thinking some 'get acquainted' playdates initiated by you might help him start to develop some friendships that carry over into the school day.

Original poster

MoreTeaVicar · 05/09/2007 19:24

I think the class is fairly small, there are three classes in the year and no we don't know anyone at all. Its a private sch and they also have a very long school day so cant do play dates afterwards. He was so excited about going to this school all summer, I could just cry for him which I know is over reacting but he is such a sweet and caring child its hard to see him so upset and disappointed. He was so popular at his old school (although it never really registered with him) and I only moved him because he was bored, naturally I am feeling guilty now as it wouldnt have been the end of the world to have left him where he was.

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chipkid · 05/09/2007 19:28

he will be popular again, you will probably be surprised at how quickly this happens. First days are always hard because it is everybody's first day after a long (very long in private schools!) holiday

Earlybird · 05/09/2007 19:28

Ask the head of the lower school to suggest some children who might be on your ds' wavelength and then arrange some social time with those children. If it can't be done during the week (what time does school let out?), then try a weekend playdate?

Original poster

MoreTeaVicar · 05/09/2007 19:32

we finish at 4.30. Am going to write the letter to his teacher, theres nothing to lose and I have to do something to help DS have a more enjoyable day. Its hard to see them upset, life is hard enough without the little ones feeling sad.

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HonoriaGlossop · 05/09/2007 20:04

if this was me i'd write that letter too, but I also think it's important not to get TOO drawn in to this - if he's been looking forward to it, he may have built up ideas that couldn't possibly be realised. He is also only young and doesn't realise that it actually ISN'T nice to be new, etc; it takes alot of effort and work to settle in and that's hard. So support him all you can, write the letter, (because the school have responsibilities to settle him in) but don't let him judge just yet.

Original poster

MoreTeaVicar · 05/09/2007 20:09

Yes, good points HonoriaGlossop, I'll keep the letter brief and give DS lots of moral support. I guess it doesn't help that his older sister is getting on famously at her new school (been 3 days now)!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 05/09/2007 20:11

Can't you go in rather than write a letter? I think it would come across more accurately that way, aletter is so easily misconstrued.

MrsWeasley · 05/09/2007 20:17

I would go in a have a friendly chat with the teacher if at all possible. A letter are too formal and may not get opened by the teacher anyway (may go straight to office)

Its a difficult time being the only new boy as all the others are already in their friendship groups and know each other. Perhaps he could have 2 guardians to ensure he isnt left alone. Also ask the teacher where he can go if he has lost his guardian (we have a friendship stop where any child without a playmate can stand and gets loads of kids wanting to play with them. )

Hope the 2nd day is better.

Original poster

MoreTeaVicar · 05/09/2007 20:59

Thanks everyone, yes I will go in and see the teacher in the morning, good opportunity to introduce myself also as I have not met her yet.

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spudmasher · 05/09/2007 21:10

You must write the letter or go in...
Honoria has hit the nail on the head when she says the school has a responsibility to settle him in..
We do a buddy system and as a teacher I always accompany a new child out to break on the first day, just to observe or give support if needed. I will have lunch with them too and the assigned buddies, to help to get to know them.
I hope your ds settles soon. It is hard to be away from them knowing they are having a hard time.

chipkid · 06/09/2007 09:46

just wondering how you got on this morning
MoreTeaVicar

Original poster

MoreTeaVicar · 06/09/2007 10:14

Morning Chipkid, I went in and spoke to his teacher who had actually tried calling me yesterday after school only I was out til 6 and missed her call. Anyway, she was aware of events as DS had spoken to her after lunch. She had also spoken to his guardian about abandoning him and allocated another boy (unfortunately not in his class) who had shadowed him when he went for his induction day. She is also going to arrange a further person in his class to shadow him too. She was very nice and I am feeling more optimistic that DS will have a much better day. Fingers crossed, we just want our DC to be happy dont we.

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MrsWeasley · 06/09/2007 10:16

Oh I'm so pleased his teacher was aware of this and doing something about it.
Lets hope he has a better day today.

HonoriaGlossop · 06/09/2007 10:43

Original poster

MoreTeaVicar · 06/09/2007 18:26

Happy to report DS had a great 2nd day, rating it nine and three quarters out of ten! What more can I ask for , thanks for the support guys.

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 06/09/2007 18:56

Yay! That's great. I'm not surprised there was a wobble the first day, given that his 'buddy' wasn't doing the job. And it just IS hard, your first day, isn't it.....

Onward and upward from here, I'm sure

chipkid · 06/09/2007 19:22

I am sooo pleased that he had a good day. Yes that is all we want happy children. She sounds like a great teacher.

spudmasher · 06/09/2007 19:53

Good good.

Eliza2 · 06/09/2007 22:02

Phew. That's good. My son started a new school yesterday, too, and I know how important it is to feel they're enjoying the social side.

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