What are the lternatives to mainstream ed?

[bizzi]

ds now in yr 5 has, usually mild, sometimes more overt, behavioural probs that wont be acceptable in most mainstream secondary schools. He's intelligent but socially very young, been described as having traits of aspergers syndrome.
dh and I have worried for years over his development, all the powers that be continue to say, don't worry, he'll mature with age, he's on the right track etc. He doesn't appear to be though.
Anyone know what the alternatives are for him?

The alternatives will vary according to where you live but here are the main options:

1. Try to get a dx for ds so that he can get some real help in school. From what I can remember I think you said before that his primary school have been putting him on the SEN register and then taking him off again. A dx will help you to get a statement with extra resources to help your son. A dx will also mean that the school he will go to will be (hopefully!) more understanding of his difficulties.

2. Home education. There are a few MN'ers who do this and lots of support groups out there if you decide to go ahead.

3. A private school may have smaller class sizes which may help to take some of the stress and strain away. Obviously this would depend on your resources.

I think that in your position I would try to get an appointment for an assessment asap. Finding out exactly what the problem is will be the first step to finding a solution for the difficulties your ds is having.

Yes Coppertop I think you're right. I just feel though that over the years I've been searching for help and answers and not got very far at all, professionals, (teachers, head teacher, health visitor then eventually clin psychologist) are all saying 'he'll be fine!' But I suppose, at the end of the day half their job is to reasure the parent who in this case see's into the future through very dirty lenses!

Is my gut instinct right? If so why the hell should he be left to fail when I've called for assistance for years. Or, am I a paranoid mother determined to blame my difficult sons behaviour on himself or his 'condition' in order to lift any blame off my lovely family...
ps I have a cousin and uncle with as

The system for dx'ing AS just seems to be so hit-and-miss. I think the average age for getting a dx is supposed to be about 9yrs old. That's a heck of a long time for a child to go without help. I hear so many stories of parents (including one I know IRL) who ask for help for years but keep getting fobbed off.

FWIW I don't think you're just looking for an excuse to shift the blame for bad behaviour. The whole process of trying to get a dx for AS can be so soul-destroying that I don't think that anyone would go through it all without good reason. Obviously I don't know for sure whether your ds has AS but from what I can remember of your other thread I think that AS was the first thing to spring to mind for a couple of people.

I think that the best advice I've heard is that while you're waiting for someone to finally listen to you, treat your ds as though he does have AS. Many of the techniques are equally effective on non-AS children so it certainly wouldn't do any harm.

Thanks for your responses on this thread and the other Coppertop, I really appreciate your thoughts.
I'm going to do some more probing and look forward to updating you with some positive news soon!

You're more than welcome, Bizzi. Good luck with it all. If there's anything you need help with I'm usually around. You're also welcome to CAT me if you prefer.