Why does everyone hate small schools for the lack of social opportunities?

[millym0llymandy]

Big schools often mean more bullying; are very impersonal; have cramped classrooms; less scope for varied lessons and trips.

Now for a personal anecdote :

When I went to a big secondary I found myself with lots of friends, but was incredibly sad because I wasn’t that close to any of them. Plus, I was constantly picked on by the boys in class along with all the other girls. No one cared.

Then, I moved to an indescribably tiny (Year 10 consisted of 8 of us) class of 6 boys and 2 girls including me. Me and the girl loathed each other at first, we just made friends in other years and I spent some breaks and lunches sitting and reading alone. Still preferred 100 times over because it felt more personal and close knit. Eventually the girl and I made very good friends because we were constantly pushed together for everything.

I think having to deal with a limited scope for friendship is much more like real life. If you don’t like the people at your job then there’s little to do but get used to them.

I think the end of your statement is total crap tbh. If you don't get on with people at work than you make friends with people outside of work as most people do, or if they're plain horrible you change jobs.

Your school experience sounds a bit crap and small schools are great for some kids, large schools for others. It is however, impossible to offer the breadth of curriculum and extra curricular activities at the level a large school can, in a school the size you went to so aside from the social aspect, there's lots of other things I would have a problem with in a small school.

I've just reread your OP and I'm rolling my eyes. The beginning statement is a load of crap too. I have nothing against small schools but what you're saying about large ones is crap.

There are pros and cons to both.

Often, it just is what it is. Parents send to their closest school. If you live in a busy town, then it will be a large school. If you live in a tiny village, it will be a small school.

Most people went to relatively big schools with big classes so that’s what’re familiar with.

tiny schools under 20 pupils I think are hard maybe only a couple of people the same age

schools of 100 -200 pupils small enough to know everyone's name big enough for several classes there won't be just 1 or 2 people your age maybe 15 -20 so enough to choose this would be my ideal for a primary for a child 1 class of 20-25 per year group
schools for primary with 2 class entry ie about 50-60 also work fine more than 400 pupils at pimary level and I think small children are lost in anonimity
for secondary significantly less than 500 is difficult to offer enough breadth and set 3 sets per age group is fine though
more than 1200 I think again suffers from being too big
as I said my ideal is single form entry primary and 6-8 form entry at secondary

I went to a tiny school like the one you described OP. I have to say I really enjoyed it, and thought it was a brilliant school. I eventually moved to a bigger school which I found just as good, and had much better opportunities.
Now I have my own DC, they are at a big school, and I am actually quite envious of them. They sometimes get overlooked in class due to big class sizes, but they have so many opportunities that I didn’t. It is feasible for the school to provide so many more activities, both in class and extra curricular. They have no shortage of school trips. I guess they don’t learn resilience in the same way that I did, that if you fall out with someone, you can’t just move on to the next friend. However, I would say that is something I have learned in my adult life, and it may have been beneficial for me to learn it at a younger age.
Small schools definitely have a place, as do big schools, and I think people have very strong opinions on what works for their children.

Why do you really think that your really bad experience in the first school was only/mainly down because the school was "big"? I would like to see a more comprehensive review of both school, before you reach that conclusion...... you seem stuck with the idea based on your experience or simply it is easier to explain that way. But it sounds like you are still trying to convince yourself with your arguments.

Nothing against small schools by the way... (or big for that matter).

If you don’t like the people you work with, you find another job. (Unless you are the type of person who prefers to do nothing and whinge while pretending they have no choice, obviously.)

Your OP sounds as if you prefer having very limited horizons.

Big schools often mean more bullying; are very impersonal; have cramped classrooms; less scope for varied lessons and trips.

All schools have bullying. In a big school there may be more options for dealing with it, e.g. separating children into different classes, and more friendship options rather than a single group.

Smaller schools may be in older buildings, less suitable for a modern curriculum and with smaller classrooms. They may not be able to afford a teacher for every year-group and year-group cohorts may vary in size so there could be uneven class sizes, split cohorts or large classes created to keep a cohort together. Children of different ages will spend more time together, which could be either positive or negative.

How impersonal a school feels will be down to its ethos, which will depend on the headteacher. The key person for the child is their class teacher or form tutor, so class sizes will also have an influence. If you feel negatively about a school, this will colour all your interactions with it, which may make the school seem more impersonal. Some very big schools operate a house or college system to try to tackle this.

The scope for varied lessons is down to how the curriculum is arranged, not the size of the school. A large school might be able to afford more varied trips as the cost per head of coach travel is less and they may qualify for better value deals by buying more tickets. Small schools tend to be in more rural areas where there are fewer trip options within walking distance.

I dislike small schools for exactly that: lack of social opportunities. A child of my acquaintance is in a small primary school. There were 3 girls in her year. She was still bullied (I don't know why you think school size impacts that?) Then both the bully and the other girl left and she is the only girl in her year. She has little to no opportunity to practice the skills of making frienda and dealing with inevitable friend drama that happens in KS2 and so will head off to secondary school woefully underprepared, and knowing noone else in her year. I feel so sad for her and can't help feel that her life would be very different in a bigger school.

If you happen to come across like minded kids in a small school it can be wonderful, if there are social issues (including bullying, excluding, or simply not happening to get along that well with the others in your year) then it can be a massive problem and not much that can be done about it.

As an adult if you dislike your colleagues you can move jobs, you are also likely to have a larger pool of friends outside of work.

if there's only 2 girls in a year group then team sports is impossible.

if there's only 2 girls in a year group then friendship opportunities are limited (as you found) - to say that that is good preparation for adult life is bonkers

if there's only 8 kids in a year then school trips/holidays are never going to be that much fun and there will be no way of offering obscure subjects/trips as it simply won't be economically feasible.

HTH?

Not just the social limitations but the lack of sporting opportunities for our very sporty children would be a dealbreaker for me.

I think that a very salient point is that everybody who remembers their positive times at a small school needs to understand that the days of that happening are now dead and gone. School's finance is a totally different situation now and any school that has less than 210 pupils in a primary will always be struggling to make ends meet financially.