Headmaster obsessed with a scholarship at a prestigious school; why?

[lightandairy56]

Not wanting to offend anyone or be goady in anyway by this post.

My current prep school Head has become obsessed with the fact that one of the secondary options we are looking at is a famous and prestigious 13+ schoool. It's mentioned every time I bump into the Head. I've told him that it's an option but actually not our first choice. (First choice is a non-famous much cheaper school which we prefer.... or the local grammar). But the Head seems utterly obsessed with the chance of a academic scholarship for my child at the famous school.

Does anyone know how much income is at stake for a prep school if they can successfully boast of success in sending one of their pupils to a prestigious secondary on an academic scholarship? Because I am now wondering whether my Head has his business hat on rather than thinking where is actually best for my son?

Before we joined we were told a few times they had successfully just sent a child to a different famous 13+ school on an academic scholarship.....and I must admit it did influence my decision to then choose that prep. I thought that the prep might be able to educate my child to the same level....and indeed it looks like they have.

My child is currently at the private prep on a 90% scholarship/bursary and the new school have pre-indicated (chat with bursar and a look Ayer our financials) that similar levels would be on offer. But I am not convinced that as a non-wealthy family he will fit in and I worry about him being teased etc as the poor kid. They also don't do a sport which my child really loves playing.

I've explained this multiple times to the current prep Head but every single time I see him it's mentioned.....to the extent that I'm starting to question the motives. I did read that prep schools love their leavers to go to prestigious next schools as it gives them great advertising etc for prospective parents with their fees. Eg i thought that if ten parents over the next few years sent two children to the prep for a few years because they were persuaded that my child had done so well, that's over a million pounds of Income. Or am I being cynical? Does anyone know from direct experience?

No direct experience, but are the schools involved all 13+ entry or are some 11+? Maintaining a cohort for years 7 & 8 can be a challenge and maintaining the "right" cohort even harder.

Yes. I do know that the school really wants bums on seats for year 7 and 8. And our first choice is a 13+. And first choice is a lovely school. Very academic and selective but not famous or prestigious at all.

The Head just goes on and on about the famous one.

Of course it will help the school, you said yourself that the same thing influenced you to choose that school.

He ought however to stand back from that and look at what’s best for your child.

If you’re not convinced he’s doing that, make sure you make your own mind up on which school to choose.

To be honest I’d say a parent’s opinion is worth more than a headmaster’s anyway, even without a business agenda, as you know your child far better.

Yes!
Prep schools I know celebrate if they get a pupil into a famous Public School. Especially if it is unusual for them (the schools that always send boys to Eton or Winchester etc don't). And getting a boy in on a scholarship is often local newspaper worthy.
It's just like schools celebrating that "10 pupils got Oxbridge offers". It impresses parents, is positive and may get free advertising via a news story in the local paper.

It's the one single most powerful advertisement for the school that's worth more than all the other subsidiary advertisements put together, that's why!

I've known SEEN, headmasters of even very good preps literally falling over themselves trying to get a highly promising scholarship-potential pupil into their school(s)!

Case history: Said prep head was expecting a proven scholarship pupil to visit because the visit itself was actually arranged by a very famous senior school. On the day, the visitors couldn't find a parking space around the school and phoned up the prep head. It was then observed the head rushed out to the front entrance of the prep school which was sited a few steps above ground level. He urgently looked left, then looked right and then left again trying to spot where the visiting vehicle was. In his excitement he forgot he was standing a few steps above ground level and duly tumbled down the steps onto the pavement!!!

Sorry to budge in, but if your son can get anywhere near 90% off his fees at a famous prestigious school - maybe you should seriously think about sending him there? Prestigious schools and Oxbridge have a good number of exceptionally bright children from poor backgrounds and that doesn't seem to stand in the way of them being able to fit in. A good percentage of kids at Eton are on bursaries with some 100% bursaries.

My own family is not at all wealthy and brother went to a prestigious school (albeit in Germany), then to Cambridge and is now at Harvard. He has always had an amazing circle of friends who were from very wealthy backgrounds, but that has never stopped them from being great kids and very close friends.

@peteneras I like that anecdote! I think the head of my child's current prep would react the same way.

I hadn't considered that an academic scholarship to a prestigious school was the one biggest advert that a prep can have. That would make sense.

I am wondering now whether it is worth asking the current prep for a 100% bursary for the next two years if they want my child to stay on and aim for the prestigious school scholarship, rather than me sending him to the grammar in September.

It's another £1700 per year in question. I can't afford that extra £3400 but it sounds like that for the prep school it would be an investment of £3400 for a huge potential influx of parents as a result of my child's achievements. Is that a realistic point of view for me to hold? I have considered it before but thought it would be greedy.

@minipie thank you. I hear you. I do know him - and my circumstances- better than anyone. If we left in July to go the grammar I doubt that the Head would remember us in a few years. If we stay on and get the prestigious scholarship then I'm
sure he will be talking about my child to every prospective parent for years and years. They have never had a child get a scholarship for this school and it's been about five years since they got one for an equally famous school.

@MollyButton see my post just above; it's really unusual for this school to get a child to a prestigious school, let alone on a scholarship.

They had one about five years ago to a famous school on a scholarship. Actually more like 7 years ago and they still mention it to prospective parents.

They've not had one since to that school or its equally famous competitors.

@XelaM thanks for this. I haven't discounted it.

But the school in question is the second favourite of my son as well as me. And I have to respect that too.

@lightandairy56 I think if it's such a big deal for your prep to get a scholarship child to a top top secondary, it's definitely worth discussing a 100% bursary for the next two years.

I think if your child has an exceptional opportunity to get a scholarship to this school it's something you should really think about just discounting in favour of a less famous school. I don't think personal wealth is such a big deal when it comes to fitting in at those type of schools. Academic talent is what counts.

I meant think about carefully before* discounting

@lightandairy56 That is exactly why they would push it so much.
A Prep school local to me mainly feeds into its related Senior school, with a bit of advising for boys who won't make the grade of other schools more suited to them. However when it gets a boy into a famous public school there are articles in the local paper etc.
It is a big deal, and will lure in parents whose boys might otherwise go for boarding or another prep further away with more of a pattern of sending to top Public Schools.
And the local Prep does it about once every 5 years or so.

If you think about it logically @lightandairy56 and ask yourself, what is a prep school and what is their purpose of their existence? Well, the word, 'prep' here stands for preparatory, i.e. it's a school preparing their pupils for something - which is to say preparing the kids for entry into senior (more commonly) public schools and/or other senior indie schools after which they would have served their purpose. I'm aware in the modern day some parents use them for preparation to sit grammar schools entrance exams which is not the intended purpose of a prep school.

It follows then that I'm a bit confused why would parents go to great extent to choose a great prep school but with no intention of following this up with an equally great or greater desire of entering a greater public/indie senior school. I'm aware, of course, that money is mainly the great deciding factor in all this but there are ways around this by way of scholarships and/or bursaries. All you have to do is to ask.

Lastly, I wouldn't give the last word to any of my children under 12 years old as to which school that s(he) would like to go to. Parents sometimes have to take responsibilities and make decisions.

Many parents select the prep school based on where the children go on to i.e. work backwards from the senior school they like so this is key for your head!
My DH wondered whether prep schools get payments from non selective senior schools for pushing students their way?

@peteneras I have to agree. My own daughter is at a prep school with absolutely insane (in my view) levels of homework/academic pressure. The whole focus of the school from reception onwards is to prep kids for the 11+. The only reason I (and many other parents) stay there is because every year the school gets their kids into all the top independent and all the London grammar schools.

I would definitely ask for 100% scholarship at present prep. You might find that going for the scholarship at the prestigious school will up the education your ds receives as they will have to tailor it to the scholarship demands. Some preps have scholarship classes, some smaller schools do it by offering extra 1:1 tutorials. Also rich schools might have more, not less, kids from non-wealthy backgrounds than more mundane schools that need every penny. Eton of all schools has the greatest variety of pupil backgrounds, with its previous head the son of a cabbie and a cleaner.

*fewer, not less. Don't do that in the exam

Also rich schools might have more ... kids from non-wealthy backgrounds than more mundane schools that need every penny.

This is very true.

I am not convinced that as a non-wealthy family he will fit in and I worry about him being teased etc as the poor kid.

This doesn’t happen at the big prestigious school with countless bursaries that I know best. Pupils stand or fall amongst their peers according to their personal qualities.

It’s hard luck on your prep that they have aspirations they largely haven’t been able to satisfy! Part of me wonders if you might not be better off moving your son to one of the tiny handful of preps that does regularly get scholarships to the ‘top’ public schools.

If you don't want the prestigious school just tell him so and he can zip it. I wouldn't get into negotiations about bursaries etc if you already have other plans

Dh went to a very pukka prep school and his head was outraged that his parents wanted him to go to the local secondary rather than Eton, as he was scholarship material. In-laws told him very firmly it was their decision, that they wanted him (and his brother) local, that they thought schools like Eton were pretentious and the head just had to lump it. You've said the school you have in mind is very good so don't be swayed

If you don't want the prestigious school just tell him so and he can zip it.

But it’s not quite as simple as that, is it? Massive prep school bursaries are hard to come by - the OP’s prep school must have had certain expectations when they offered it ... And I doubt those expectations were focused an the local state school (even if it’s a grammar).

Other than inverse snobbery, OP, do you have anything substantive against the big prestigious school? Because it probably will offer a good deal more in intangible benefits than a less well known / well endowed place.

At the heart of this is your child and you know what's best for him. Don't listen to those trying to steer you off course, they don't know better than you. Trust your gut instinct and don't your son become a pawn in this silly game

don't [let] your son become a pawn in this silly game

The OP did that when she accepted the 99% prep scholarship/bursary ... (Though perhaps she didn’t realise it was so.)

(Sorry, 90%. My phone is ambitious on your behalf ...)

The bursary was not attached to an attempt at a scholarship. OP should do what she likes. If the head has other hopes too bad.