Why most schools are currently failing and your child won’t revise

[Anonymousadvice]

I’m a 21 year old male and I came on here because this website has recently become somewhat of a meme. However I now feel there’s a huge misunderstanding between my generation and the parents and would like to not only advise you parents on raising us little shits but also offer it from our perspective.

I went to a normal comprehensive in Birmingham so I couldn’t have had more of a humbling upbringing really but I noticed in sixth form my school and all involved have lost sight of the real aims. If I were to ask one of my teachers what the point of school was they’d say “ to get your qualifications” and of course that is true but IMO it’s about preparing a young person for later life in EVERY aspect not just grades. This is demoralising for young people as you often feel like you’re just seen as a grade, there’s no teachings about taxes, nutrition, emotional abuse or adult bullying. The schools are divorced from reality and have become a sad grade factory.

I’m now at uni final year on for a high 2:1 or first Iv always been lazy but annoyingly just learnt quickly and retained knowledge well however my GCSES were aweful. At gcse I got 2 B 5 C 3D when I was predicted all A and B and the reason for this was a few months prior I’d lost a close family member and the school even the day after just didn’t care and told me to get on with it. I didn’t revise at all I’d have self harmed before I revised nothing could have made me. You’re not always failing as a parent because you’re child won’t revise! I wouldn’t revise because yeah school was shit but also mainly because I couldn’t envision a future for myself so why bother? I was majorly depressed had no motivation to shower, do my hair, look after my skin, eat right and contemplated my life as a whole so I want you to consider maybe you’re child isn’t stupid, maybe your child isn’t lazy or out to annoy you but maybe they really just can’t see the point of school, a future or life.

Gosh grandma, don't you know how to suck eggs? Let me show you

Hello. I’m sorry you feel like that. I agree that school doesn’t do enough to prepare people for life. My daughter says she gets lots of education about drugs but not enough about how to get a job or manage money etc. How are you feeling now? The last year can be tough.

@Waterandlemonjuice Yeah severe STIs and drugs are taught literally 5 times a year and given what became of most my peers I don’t think they taught that very well. Nowadays I’m doing better I got therapy when I was 18 and that really sorted my mind out as all I ever really needed was some believe from either myself or even a teacher/parent. The schools just want to ensure we don’t spend our money on drugs and don’t care most people my age irresponsibly ruin their financial lives on spending on Starbucks and designer clothes. I guess the thought process is as long as they spend money legally who cares it will help the economy.

I hope you’ve voted today, and thought carefully about which party wants the best for education.

How old do you think we are, exactly?! It's only 7 years since I was your age and I think schools were pretty similar then to be honest. I definitely don't remember any lessons about "nutrition, taxes, emotional abuse or adult bullying".

Sorry about your depression.

I sympathise about the grief aspect, my niece lost her mum and the school were next to useless, iirc she even got put in detention the day after when she went back to school, no compassion, no understanding and no communication between staff. I also agree that schools could be better at preparing pupils for life/life skills.

However I now feel there’s a huge misunderstanding between my generation and the parents and would like to not only advise you parents on raising us little shits but also offer it from our perspective.

Sorry to hear you’ve had a difficult time but I agree with PP - how old do you think the average MN user is?? You’re old enough to be a parent yourself. I’m a parent and only a few years older than you. Maybe it’s time you viewed yourself as the adult that you now are, and feel empowered by that. Being a teenager is tough - I wouldn’t want to go back to it! But just like you as a 21 year old still have that experience very clear in your mind, so do ‘older people’ - no one forgets their teenage years! Not many people are that out of touch. I hope things have improved for you now and good luck with your last year at uni

Where were your parents?

@Pinkblueberry @Tablepicture I thought anyone with a child in their teenage years would likely be at least 30 most likely 40 plus. It’s not a post to say ‘ you old people don’t get it life’s so hard for us’ even though a lot of people my age love to play that card ha ha. I definitely agree most things about school are pretty timeless and they’ve been failing for a long time but I think in recent years the grades have meant so much more in terms of future prospects. My step dad couldn’t read or write until he was 13 and got basically no education yet became a ceo of a company whereas in these time’s that’s very impossible. Even I feel somewhat out of touch with young teenagers because I can’t imagine the impact of tik tok and having Instagram and snapchat in primary school. Essentially the point of my post is I feel now at 21 Iv undergone the whole extent of the education system and it’s failures are still with the schools but also what I believe to be an ever increasing mental health problem in young people. Iv seen a lot on this site about my teenage child is so lazy and they don’t revise and perhaps they are as teenagers are lazy generally but I think it may do good if more parents considered could my child be mentally ill.

My youngest is 15. She has been learning about nutrition since Reception year at primary all the way up to y9 (in food tech). She has also learned about tax at secondary school as well as voting, our government system, keeping good mental health etc.

I do find it disconcerting when 'youth' of today say 'woe is me I don't understand about...' when their generation has so much information literally (and I use that term advisedly) at their fingertips, so much more so than previous generations.

Firstly, I think it is good that you posted on this sight. It is always informative to get another perspective. I also think it is good that you are reflecting on not just what you are taught, but how you are taught.

So much has changed for the better about teaching. At least students now get PSHE. It's content though, could and should be reviewed regularly; preferably by listening to what young adults want from it.

The ability to learn has also got easier. If you have an atrocious teacher, there is now the internet or CGP books. Text books used to be made unbelievably tedious in order for them to sound serious. In my view though, more could be done to make use of new technology, with teachers enabling students to learn at their own pace though more use of the internet and flip learning.

Other things have not improved. Both schools and Universities seem to have gone from a priority of education to a priority of making money. Hence to drive for grades, in some cases regardless of what is best for the children. Teachers are swamped with monitoring levels and achieving grades, along with the endless paper trails this generates. One eye is on teaching, the other on an ever decreasing share of funding. How many schools have got rid of tech or domestic science, because it is too expensive to run and is taking up a room in which another class full of pupils could be crammed?

there’s no teachings about taxes, nutrition, emotional abuse or adult bullying.

Schools teach some of this, but mostly this is not and should not be the schools responsibility to pick up the slack from lazy parenting or even lazier young adults. Parents should be preparing their children for the real world, adults should learn how to research basic living topics themselves, schools are there for education.

How do you think us 'older' generation worked this out ourselves without Google? This is the problem with the younger generation they expect someone else to work out what they need to know then have it laid out nicely to them on a plate, they need to blame someone else. If you feel you need to know about these things go and work it out yourself, it is an important skill to develop as an adult and future employee.

Perhaps the one thing they should have taught you at school is that us oldies were your age once, and we thought we knew it all too.

Aww, bless!

My step dad couldn’t read or write until he was 13 and got basically no education yet became a ceo of a company whereas in these time’s that’s very impossible.

On the one hand, I agree things have become harder for young people with higher educational expectations.

Otoh you may slightly be underestimating the time and hard work it took your step dad to reach CEO. He didn't get there when he was 21, did he?

My son left his comprehensive in the spring with a BTEC after having had to retake his maths GCSE 4 times. He took a job with a fast-food chain as that was what he could get. 3 months later he was already singled out for management training. If he does well, he could move higher up in the organisation or move sideways into some other form of catering/retail. I don't think he has any special magic except being willing and a hard worker.

Like you, he didn't revise enough at school. But he owns that. He accepts that work that wasn't done at one point will have to be done at some other point, in a different way.

I say thank you for posting. And you're right, there are more important things than grades. I am in my 50s and sadly, it was really no better back then. Worse possibly because for women, certainly at my very expensive posh boarding school, there was no careers advice whatsoever. At least these days I see schools trying to do that. Possibly the problem is that if a school tells children that grades don't matter, then many children will take that at face value. Grades do matter to a certain extent, but as you have pointed out, what matters more is self-esteem, confidence, happiness. It's difficult to know how to improve things, but good on you for all you have achieved.