Prep schools- why/how did you choose?

[anonymouse]

I've just gone down the rabbit hole of researching prep schools. I have some time as DS is just coming up to 2 but I'm a planner so I've been looking at various options in my local area (Surrey/Hampshire/Berkshire border). I'm looking at nursery options going through into school.

My problem is there is so much choice! I want a nice nurturing environment with small classes which is basically the ethos of them all. I'm also not sure whether to go co-ed or single sex or is that more important in Senior?

If your child is in a prep school, how did you decide on The One? I went to one Open Morning and to be honest I had high hopes from reviews and their website but was let down by the tour- it was pupil led and I had a guide who had never been to the Nursery & Reception bit. I've also written some off just by their website- couldn't tell you why but after going to the website I've just thought nah.

So tell me, what made you chose your child's school? If you're in my area- do you have any to recommend?

we chose dd & ds's school because of the grounds, attitude of teachers, facilities etc. Personally, I would go co-ed because I feel that it's important for them to mix whilst they are young and it offers a better 'balance'- but again that Is only my view. have you had a look at st pirans or weston green? both have the small class sizes you are after x

Did you just see it at an Open Day or individual tour? I'm just thinking about attitude of teachers as on an Open Day they're primed to be at their best but for a individual tour it might be a better insight.

All the ones I've looked at have impressive grounds, I guess that's just this area though- we're very lucky. I like the idea of having acres to run around in.

I understand what you mean about balance. I'm more inclined to go co-ed too but I wasn't sure if I was missing something with single sex. My best friends in prep school were boys and then I went to an all girls senior which was a bit of a shock initially. It was rather bitchy.

I've heard of St Pirans but not looked into it. Weston Green may be a bit too far out for me.

Your first question must be ‘what are the children being prepared for?’

I’ve been astonished at the number of parents who start threads complaining that a prep school has failed to prepare their child for grammar school 11+; or didn’t give them any help with public school entrance - when the school in question only sends to two or three local day schools; etc.

So it rather depends on where you want them to be at 11 or 13. Smart London independent day school / leafy comp / Winchester. Choose the prep that has significant expertise in getting the outcome you want.

All else will be fairly obvious.

agree with @surprisesparday

I had an individual tour and an open day, because i wanted to get a better insight into what the school was actually like, if the children seemed happy during the day etc. so i would recommend going for both. Like PP said, look ahead to secondary schools, will you want a grammar school, Westminster or a less pressured secondary? Obviously you won't know the concrete answer now but look as to where the children end up going at 11+ so you can factor that into your choice.

Very good points. It seems a bit daunting to be thinking about senior school. He loves books and is quick to pick things up at the moment but that could all change. I suppose it'd be best to look at one that sends children to different schools.

The other option is a through school but I suppose the option to move elsewhere at 11/13 is taken away as they don't prepare for any other school.

I also read about in & out parents on an independent school magazine blog. Go to private for nursery, state for primary and top up with tuition for 11+ then back to private for senior. I didn't consider that to be a thing- as aren't private schools meant to be working levels above state?

1. handiness distance-wise for drop offs
2. the ones I could get to, I ruled out the ones with senior schools attached - I didn't consider them academic enough for senior schools. Also less incentive to get children passing into good senior schools
3. ruled out one school on the grounds that they had indented plastic trays to eat lunch from rather than plates
4. ruled out one school that had sold off all its playing fields so only small playground (the one they attended had acres of grass, a woodland, fishing lake, shooting range, vast adventure playground in a wood) It's still a lottery though as to whether the child fits.

This might be long...
We found one by accident, having expected that DS would go to the local state primary, until I realised that there was no wraparound care and I'd struggle to keep my job unless we found a 7am start childminder... so I started looking for schools near work which because it was miles away had to be indie.

Went for single sex because I'd done a bit of research into learning methods and optimum temperatures and they are quite different for girls and boys. Also I hated co-ed and both DH and I ended up going to single-sex schools (me state, he boarding) so we were happy with the choice. We did (and still do) involve DS in co-ed stuff outside school like Scouts, sports clubs etc. so he's not isolated. Anyway...

Asked about at work; several colleagues had experience of local prep schools and were happy to talk to me. Looked on their websites for start times. The closest school to work's breakfast club started 15 mins later than the one that was right by the Tube but further from work. Then having a Tube backup for the commute if it was snowy/icy became a useful fact.

Then there were the entry tactics. There were 30+ vacancies at Nursery and 4-6 at Reception so getting in at Nursery was going to be proportionally easier.

Looked at fees and previous year's values. Worked out how much they were likely to be going up year on year.

Wondered if I was going to keep the same job for all that time because leaving would have caused problems.

In the end we plumped for the one near the Tube because we knew more people whose DS had gone there, it had a good reputation, good finances (go look on Companies House/Charities Commission to see how they are doing!), and it felt right.

We still have no regrets, apart from having no cash and since DS turned out to have SEN, we also have much more support than we might have done from an utter gem of a Senco who I will be very sad to say goodbye to when he leaves. We do have a place at a very good senior school assuming all goes well, and still feel it was the best decision in hindsight.

I do know not all parents of boys in his year think the same though. Same school, completely different experience, so I think the bottom line is that you have to work out which would be a good fit for your child. If you have even small doubts, keep looking.

Hi I have two DCs at prep and another one starts from the next year. My criteria is

1. co ed or single sex Personally I prefer to co-ed especially when they are young. Also I have both DD and DS, so it is more convenient for me that both children go to a same school.
2. senior school I also checked leaver’s destination. Many prep schools have connections with senior schools and the school provide preparation for the entrance exams.
3. distance Morning and evening are the busiest time to travel by car. So, it is worth to drive in the morning and afternoon around 3 or 4 pm to check if the traffic is manageable for you. My DCs’ school is just at border of Hampshire/Berkshire/Surrey. The traffic in the morning is often stuck at some area.
4. pupils and teachers I attended open morning and individual tour. Personally I prefer to individual tour as you have more opportunities to speak with the head teacher. You can also see pupil’s attitude. I selected the current school because all pupils looked very happy when I visited.

For me, it was gut feeling. I visited several and chose the one I felt most comfortable and happy (but visit several times!). Do you live close enough to Sunningdale? If so, I would gave a look.

Doesn't Sunningdale start at 7 and isn't it boarding? I don't think I could put DS in a boarding school especially so young.

@moonbells I'm glad the school worked out for you. It is very much on the individual and no school is going to have 100% parent satisfaction which I understand. if you don't mind my asking why did you hate co-ed?

We have some excellent state school in the area, most rated good or outstanding although many are becoming academies. My issue is that I have several teacher friends so I hear a lot from them. One teaches a class of 31 with 8 having additional needs but due to budgets she no longer has a TA or support. Another has been talking about behavioural issues and that if they move a child with severe issues they have to take another from another school so 'better the devil you know'. It's not fair to any of the children or the staff but tighter education budgets mean this is going to get worse and worse hence looking at Prep.

I'm keeping a wide scope at the moment but distance & travel time from home & work would play into the shortlist.

OP, you probably live quite close to me so have looked at some of the schools I looked at.

I'd have a bit of a think where you think you might (given that you can't really tell at 2!) want him to end up and check that's somewhere the school sends some children too. Then I'd work out what's logistically possible and go and have a look. Am very happy if you want to pm me about some.

I personally hated co-ed because I liked (and was good at) maths, science and the like, and the boys didn’t like a girl who encroached on “their” subjects. I was horribly bullied, left at the first opportunity to an all-girls state school and breathed a sigh of relief. I did A levels in maths and physics, got to a RG uni and have been a physicist for the last 30 years.

There is still a massive gender bias in subject choices, especially for girls in mixed schools. They are much less likely to do STEM subjects. I suspect a boy who wanted to do art and literature or the like would also find it harder in a mixed environment. I know schools are working towards getting rid of the gender bias in subject choices, but I don’t think they’re there yet.

Oh and on distance, we still have a round trip drive of 25 miles a day. DS has been doing it with me since he was 6mo old as he went to the site nursery for 4 years. Hasn't known any different and the time is spent reading, listening to music, discussing daily events... so not wasted. Learning time and parent time. Just indirectly...

@GU24Mum thanks. I appreciate the offer. May pm you when we shortlist.

@moonbells that's awful. I'd hope it's not so much the same nowadays but as you say perhaps they're not quite there yet. Interesting to get different perspectives.

When a child is a toddler and you are looking, it is hard to think about what you want at 7 or 11 or 13, but you really must. Nth things you want for your 3 year old entering kindergarten are not the same as the things you'll want at 11 or 13.

So unless you are looking just at pre-prep which requires you to move on at 7, you need to think much longer term.

Personally I think that when starting so young, going for a Prep which feeds multiple schools is the best bet - you don't know how your child will turn out or which senior will suit - but ensure you pick a Prep that sends a decent amount of children to your aspirational choice of Senior, so that is at least an option. You really do have to think forwards first and then work backwards.

Fewer and fewer Preps go to 13 and by the time your little one is 13 it will be fewer still. Most children from Preps now move on at 11, but consider if you want a traditional boarding school which only starts at 13. This might influence your choice of Prep.

I'd also be open to the idea that you might move your child as their ability and personality becomes clearer. You might decide at 7 that a different Prep is more or less academic and more suited to your child.

Things to look at when you visit - the usual stuff about facilities and staff seeming friendly. I've also asked to see marked work and asked very specific questions about what prep is done for entrance to the next stage and no.s of children moving onto different schools at the next stage.

Personally, we went state until 7 and then into a 2-13 Prep. We knew which Senior school we wanted and although it had its own Prep, we didn't choose it, as we felt the 'tied' Prep had less incentive to genuinely prep children - those kids didn't have to do the entrance exam for the senior (a big advantage in the eyes of many - many choose 'tied' schools for an easier ride into the Senior). We picked our traditional 2-13 Prep for the full to 13 experience - it was a big Prep of 3 forms in each year, allowing for enough children for setting and sports teams and meant they had proper specialist teachers for science, languages, music etc from Yr 4 rather than the more classroom teacher based learning which is more evident in lots of Preps which go to 11. The existence of Yr7 and 8 in a Prep makes it very different.

The Preps Inwould avoid are the very small 'cosy' ones (often struggling) - they might appeal when your child is 3 but for a big 11 year old can be limited. I'd want at least 2 decent sized forms ((15+) per year group - otherwise genuine setting and getting enough sports teams out (especially if a mixed school) is difficult.

If really what you want is just a relaxed childhood and running around outside, I might wait until 7 to go independent when you might be able to choose with a bit more certainty about what suits you and your child.

We have looked around loads and are going with the one that’s the best fit for the vision of DS’s childhood we have. So for us it’s co-ed, lots of time outside and great all around ie academics, sport, music, art etc We were also attracted to the lovely, spacioous grounds, great facilities and large, bright classrooms. We can see DS spending a good chunk of his childhood there.

Hi @anonymouse
You sound like you are near me. I have two boys aged 5 and 3. For me it's definitely single sex for prep and then on to wherever suits them at 13. Having said that I am due to look at Lambrook but only because it's so close to us. Hoping to not like it!
Ive been round St John’s Beaumont, Papplewick and Woodcote House. All great places for different reasons. I also hear great things about Bishopsgate although it's not for us, as if we go coed we'll look to Lambrook or Hall Grove.
As well as things like distance and single sex, overall size and class size and facilities, for me, it's the traditional elements and the general ethos of the school. Open Days are ok for an initial look but you definitely need a personal tour and a meet with the Head to really understand those.

We ruled out junior school type prep schools because we wanted ours to have options for senior school. We also ruled out all academically pushy schools, if we wanted that kind of environment we’d just send them to the local middle class state school and force them to do extra tutoring. We looked for very traditional schools with a wide variety of arts/sports etc so that they would have the chance to develop in every way backed by the ethos which pushes every child to be the best version of themselves. Tattler is also quite useful altough not comprehensive.

I am Berkshire. I chose a 3-16 co-Ed school.

It's not overly big, caring, family feel. Let's children thrive in whatever they may shine in. Huge on resilience.

DC is very happy there. But I don't know if my intention is to stay past 11 or 13 we will cross that when it arrives.

Sunningdale is only boys boarding from 7. Roughly around 100 boys at any one time.

For us it was co-Ed, I don’t believe in separating children at primary level, classes no less than 20 to ensure enough choice of friendships, not too hothousey and it had to be a charity. I rejected all privately owned schools, it needed a proper governance structure. Exit schools needed to be a good mix

Ps everyone tutors for 11+ entrance exams regardless of the school so exit is also influenced by that

We simply looked at the local pre school options with good reputations and outcomes at yr 3, registered our interest when he was a baby. Waiting list was huge and he didn’t get invited for his assessment until he was 3. Finally started in the nursery before moving into reception. I loved the facilities, small class sizes , energy of the teachers and the young lady that showed us round was amazing. They have excellent after school clubs too. We looked at where DC moved onto next as the schools job is to prepare for 7+. There expectations are high though and DC are expected to be 2yrs ahead in both maths and English to even be considered with the junior school which involves a competitive exam. It has been a bit of a shock at the sheer amount of work expected at reception, my DS loves it but not all DC can cope at such a young age. I have the benefit of having used the state primary system for my older DC. So if you have choices find the one that suits your DC. Don’t try and force them into a square hole when they would suit the circle!